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Rachel Renée Russell

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Tales from a Not-So Happy Birthday

Dork Diaries

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September 20, 2018

MY BFF IS CRUSHING ON MY (SECRET) CRUSH!! ☹️

Hey Nikki,

I’ve been crushing on this guy for about two years now, but I never told any of my friends because I was afraid that they might tell someone. Recently, my BFF told me that she likes this guy who just so happens to be my crush!!! She told me that they’ve been texting the past few days, which made me really upset but I told her that I’m happy for her and didn’t tell her that I like him too. I don’t know what to do. I really like this guy, but my BFF also likes him and I want her to be happy. What should I do?

Crazy Crush Calamity

Hi Crazy Crush Calamity,

Oh no! This sounds like a terrible situation! 🙁

It’s definitely not uncommon for two friends to crush on the same guy – there are only so many crush-worthy guys, right?!

However, this is extra-sticky since your friend didn’t KNOW about your crush. If she knew he was your crush, she probably would have selected someone else to crush on. Like, you can’t help your feelings, but the texting and telling you about her feelings for YOUR crush, etc…that goes against BFF code.

But she didn’t know! So it’s really not her fault! Though completely understandable that you’re upset.

The thing is, if you start flirting with your crush now, YOU’D be the one going against BFF code. You shouldn’t get in the way of whatever she’s got going on with this guy. For one thing, that would seriously mess up your friendship, and no boy is worth that.

But I DO think you should be honest with your friend. I mean, if you can just decide to get over him and let it go, that would be great. But if not – and I’m guessing since you wrote in about it, it’s not quite that easy – I think you should tell her that you’ve had a crush on him for a while too, but you didn’t say anything. Tell her you’re not upset with HER at all, because it’s not her fault she didn’t know about your crush. And tell her you’re not asking her to stop liking him, texting him or anything.

But it’s TOTALLY fair to tell her it’s hard for you to hear all about their texts. If you’re being understanding and generous with your friend, she should be willing to understand where you’re coming from and just not bring this guy up around you.

You sound like a really amazing friend, wanting your friend to be happy. But you deserve to be happy too! So communicate with your friend and make sure your friendship stays strong, first of all.

And then hang in there. With some time, you’ll get over this guy and find a new crush-worthy guy!!!

Have you ever crushed on the same guy as your BFF?? How did you guys work it out? Tell us in the comments!

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: crushnikki

Comments

  1. 75
    Aust!in says:
    September 21, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    My Crush turned me down when I poured out my heart and soul to him about going to the dance at my school with me. Know if a guy is really for U So U have better luck than I did. Talk to your friend about this so maybe you can work something out.

  2. 74
    alexaplaydEsPaSiTo says:
    September 21, 2018 at 11:56 am

    best advice ever

  3. 73
    crazy cream says:
    September 21, 2018 at 11:41 am

    good adivice nikki

    • 73.1
      Chloe Hollister says:
      September 21, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Great advice Nikki

    • 73.2
      tiny says:
      September 22, 2018 at 1:35 pm

      She is the best person ever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. 72
    dork girl says:
    September 21, 2018 at 11:40 am

    My friend is always talking about a boy but always saying she does not like him i don’t no but shes getting mixed felling how shoud i tell her with out upseting her?

    • 72.1
      Fzuc says:
      September 21, 2018 at 10:35 pm

      You should just earn her trust by not bringing that up

    • 72.2
      Soooopeplee says:
      September 22, 2018 at 12:54 am

      I know. Probably because she doesn’t want to admit the fact because someone will spread it out.
      So don’t pressure and when the time comes she will admit. Or otherwise she might just be that close to that guy

    • 72.3
      grand ma says:
      September 22, 2018 at 1:37 am

      Tell her that you like Brandon or there secret crush before her

    • 72.4
      Cotton Candy says:
      September 22, 2018 at 9:48 am

      OMG my BFF is the same!! She talkes about a boy all the time and says she doesn’t like her and that he’s annoying. It’s a little suspicious.

    • 72.5
      tiny says:
      September 22, 2018 at 1:33 pm

      you are so right. This is what you have to do

    • 72.6
      Anonymous says:
      September 22, 2018 at 4:16 pm

      omg i am the same victom as ur friend i need advi e to give myself too

    • 72.7
      Confused Girl says:
      September 23, 2018 at 6:22 am

      (For Dork Girl) I Wouldn’t Tell Her That I Would Say ”Are You Sure!” And If She Gets Annoyed And Says ”Yes” Just Say ”Ok I’m Sorry I Believe You”

  5. 71
    Pinnaple Dog says:
    September 21, 2018 at 11:01 am

    THAT SOUNDS HARD!
    I think Niki is right though!
    You should be honest to your friend and try not to argue and fight about him!
    Don’t worry, it’ll sort out and it will be ok!
    You two will probably stop liking him in the end!
    So there is no need to destroy your friendship over it!
    So just follow Niki’s advice and tell her!
    So don’t worry!

  6. 70
    Adfh says:
    September 21, 2018 at 10:52 am

    Great advice I have a crush too i haven’t told anyone yet

  7. 69
    Sally says:
    September 21, 2018 at 10:41 am

    Great advice, Nikki!

  8. 68
    Been there done that says:
    September 21, 2018 at 10:23 am

    Me and my best friend had a crush on the same guy and he happens to be in our friend circle and he had a crush on me for years but I have a good friend that didn’t dislike me for it she told me that it did hurt but she stayed my friend that crush how was in our friend circle moved schools And we keep in touch and hang out occasionally so ya neither of us have a crush on him now. So what I am saying is that if you have great friends they will stick with you

  9. 67
    Super sweet girl says:
    September 21, 2018 at 9:18 am

    I had a crush named Ryan but then my BFF is crushing on him but then he left the school

    • 67.1
      Chocchipcookiesandmilk says:
      September 23, 2018 at 2:42 am

      Ouch

  10. 66
    Dorky chic says:
    September 21, 2018 at 9:02 am

    My best friend just told me that she likes the same guy as me, she texted me a few days ago and told me, and she felt really bad because she knows I like him a lot, but I’m not mad, just a little upset. We are still friends and all, I’m not mad at her either.

  11. 65
    Ccp crusher says:
    September 21, 2018 at 8:47 am

    Same here, my 3 best friends and me like them same guy.

    • 65.1
      Anonymous says:
      September 22, 2018 at 4:40 pm

      Oh, wow. That’s a lot of girls liking the same guy.

  12. 64
    LOLola says:
    September 21, 2018 at 8:00 am

    My advice for you:

    1. Don’t tell you BFF until the right time. You don’t wanna break the news when she’s in a bad mood!
    2. Find a new crush. (This is optional and VERY hard.)
    3. Try to be friends with your crush. Maybe you guys can just be friends! Or if he gets to know you, he can choose which girl. It’s actually up to him to decide- you can’t just declare he’s yours just because your crushing on him.
    4. GOOD LUCK :(! I’m dealing with the same thing, but I got a new crush. I’m still a little angry at my old crush- not for not crushing on me anymore- but after he and my best friend became a THING, he starts to flirt with another girl! WOW!

    Hope this helps :)! -Lola

  13. 63
    lollllmyadviceishorrible says:
    September 21, 2018 at 7:34 am

    I think you’ll eventually get over it.maybe you could just stay friends with your crush.

  14. 62
    BFF crisis says:
    September 21, 2018 at 7:26 am

    My friend are hanging out with a popular girl and now then only talk to each other. Even when the popular girl is not there they only talk with each other.

  15. 61
    DorkyDork says:
    September 21, 2018 at 6:55 am

    we have a group of five friends in my society, and we ALL crush on this super cute guy but he never comes in between our friendship!

  16. 60
    Kitty Fluff says:
    September 21, 2018 at 6:52 am

    I know TWO boys having a crush on MEH!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 60.1
      Awesome advicer says:
      September 22, 2018 at 9:09 pm

      Dear kitty fluff,

      it’s awesome that two boys have a crush on you, in my opinion, unless you don’t like the boys. If you don’t like either of them, ignore them. If you like one more than the other, hang out with that one more. If you like both of them, then hang with both of them

    • 60.2
      Chocchipcookiesandmilk says:
      September 23, 2018 at 2:44 am

      Find the one you like the most then go out with them lol

    • 60.3
      Dorkalicious x says:
      September 23, 2018 at 4:47 am

      Wow! your lucky. i dont hv ANYONE crushing on me. 🙁

    • 60.4
      Loving Secondry School says:
      September 23, 2018 at 6:31 am

      Same But More ;( But Id Want A Bf

  17. 59
    High On Hopes says:
    September 21, 2018 at 6:31 am

    It’s not a big deal. The same thing happened with my BFF (aka my sister) and I and we just laughed about it. We ended up both liking him and we both comfortably gushed about him together. Sometimes she’d flirt with him, and because I was never the type to, I’d just stare at him from afar.

    But we gave each other advice on getting him to like us and it was really fun. Over time, I didn’t like him as much anymore and she absolutely loved him. And that’s how it ended. Now I don’t like him at all and she does.

    My point is that if you’re honest with your friend, the two of you can make it a fun thing and eventually, one of you won’t like him as much anymore. I know it’s a sticky situation, but if she’s your friend, she’ll understand and the two of you won’t let a boy get between your friendship.

    • 59.1
      Dorkalicious x says:
      September 24, 2018 at 11:50 pm

      100% CORRECT High on hopes!

      good advice

      NO BOY IS WORTH ANY FRIENDSHIP!!!! 🙂

  18. 58
    Unicorn lover says:
    September 21, 2018 at 6:11 am

    I have the same problem my friend is crushing on this guy and I like him to and he likes her I always trust my friends

    • 58.1
      Chocchipcookiesandmilk says:
      September 23, 2018 at 2:45 am

      Sorry must hurt, I had the same problem to …I get how you feel ….. Ouch

  19. 57
    Cotton Candy says:
    September 21, 2018 at 6:10 am

    I had a crush on a guy and a few months ago, found out that THREE of my friends liked him TOO! He was in my class for three years and I didn’t want to give up. on him. I was quite shocked back then, but later they (the three of my friends that said they had a crush on my crush) said that they don’t like him anymore. ALL three. So I became the only one that had a crush on him. My crush went for about two months (I’m not sure, but I think it’s about two months). But now my mind is about to close because my crush keeps making us girls mad and even bullying my friends. I’m about to open my mind on another guy, but I don’t really want to forget my old crush that I liked for a long time. Can someone give me any tips? Thanks!

    ~Cotton Candy 😉

    • 57.1
      Anonymous says:
      September 25, 2018 at 5:19 pm

      Oh yikes!! My friend has a crush on a guy too, but I don’t have one today was shocking their eyes met and I could tell by it.

    • 57.2
      High On Hopes says:
      September 26, 2018 at 11:07 am

      Well if he’s bullying people, he’s not worth it sweetie. Find out about that other guy, for sure. Good luck!

  20. 56
    Pop star dork says:
    September 21, 2018 at 5:33 am

    If you must know……..I’ve been there done that and got the t-shirt

  21. 55
    LittleMissPuppy says:
    September 21, 2018 at 5:01 am

    Ah, yeah, I remember when that happened to me, too!

  22. 54
    slimelovergirl says:
    September 21, 2018 at 4:59 am

    i like this guy but i think he doesnt know

  23. 53
    Sqweeee!! says:
    September 21, 2018 at 4:51 am

    you should not tell your friend but just play it cool in front of him.

  24. 52
    Crush Helper says:
    September 21, 2018 at 3:02 am

    Omg! I feel so bad for you!!! But, you’ll probably get over him! I know I got over some of mine!

  25. 51
    mermaidqueen says:
    September 21, 2018 at 2:57 am

    if she truly is your friend she will understand I know I have the beeessssst in the WORLD

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