November 27, 2017 STUCK IN THE MIDDLE! Hi Brandon, So, recently my two friends got into an BIG argument. I don’t want to make either of them mad or hurt anyone’s feelings, but they keep pressuring me to hurry up and choose whose side I’m on. I really don’t like picking sides and it’s making me really STRESSED OUT. I don’t know what to do! Can you help me? Stuck In The Middle Hey Stuck In The Middle, Man, being stuck in the middle is not fun, so I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The problem is that if you choose a side, someone is DEFINITELY going to end up with hurt feelings. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Either way, one of your friends gets hurt. And you’ll be hurt too, when the friend you don’t side with gets mad at you. (“I KNOW THIS, BRANDON. THAT’S WHY I WROTE YOU FOR HELP!” you may be thinking to yourself.) I just wanted to state the problem clearly so you’ll understand why I’ll say this next: I don’t think you should choose a side. And I think you have to be clear that you’re NOT going to. Because if you’re just quiet about it, they’ll think you’re still deciding and they should keep pestering you to get you to choose one over the other. I think you need to tell them really clearly and firmly that you like them both and that their argument is between THEM. You’re not going to take a side, no matter how much they pressure you. And any time they try to bring it up again, you repeat the same thing. “Both of you are my friend and I’m not going to choose whose side I’m on.” You repeat it until they get it, or until it becomes annoying to everyone. If they can’t get past their argument, they might need to sit down with someone neutral to help them talk it through – but it shouldn’t be you. You’re trying to be neutral, but since they’re both trying so hard to get you to agree with one of them, it would be really hard for you to help them with this. So maybe pick a school counselor or a cool teacher each of you like to help resolve it. Or someone’s older sibling, if they can be neutral. That is, unless your friends don’t actually want to resolve it. Sometimes there are issues so big and they just can’t let it go and then…well, then friendships change. I hope that’s not the case here. But if it is, they’ll definitely want you to take sides and I’d just encourage you to keep telling them you don’t want to lose either of their friendships. But, hopefully it’s not quite that bad. Hopefully when you stand firm and make it clear that your friendship with BOTH of them is the most important thing, they’ll realize how ridiculous they’re being. Maybe they’ll even end up being grateful that you didn’t pick a side! How do you handle it when you’re stuck in the middle between two friends? Tell us in the comments.
Music lover says December 23, 2017 at 1:32 pm I think that’s totally not cool you should not have to pick one friend over another. That’s like picking to live with your mom or your dad for the rest of your life . But you don’t want to get in the fight with them either. So try your best to not get involved in this drama. So wait a couple days. You can still do things in those couple of days. But whenever they bring it up just change the subject. Or ask them if they want to play a game.Thank you for listening bye!
Anonymous says December 23, 2017 at 12:30 pm this has totally happened to me before so good luck cause it will be over soon
Anonymous says December 23, 2017 at 9:33 am I get stuck in the middle all of the time too. Sometimes the best thing to do is to go to both sides, age with them, and than point out why the other side isn’t so bad.
Anonymous says December 22, 2017 at 6:19 pm My two best friends were arguing on who met me first I’m like just chilllll
Pink Glittery Unicorn says December 21, 2017 at 11:31 am I know how it feels. I just said to both my friends (who had a whole crowd behind them) I like you both and this is between you not me, I’m not defending anyone but I’ll give you a ton of advice okay!
MeowMeow says December 19, 2017 at 4:30 am Same thing except I’m always the one forcing a person to chose a side (LOL)
Dork diaries123 says December 19, 2017 at 3:50 am I really dun like picking sides cuz i will end up hurting someones feelings I wish friends will stay as friends 4ever like me and my awesome BFF’s
Friends are da best says December 18, 2017 at 7:30 pm I hate it when friends fight! It used to be this friend who would fight with my other friend. But now its ME and that friend. I just HATE it. I never had my friends fight over me before. So sorry for you, Stuck in the Middle! Maybe just leave them alone, you don’t want to go into their business, trust ME.
Go says December 18, 2017 at 6:28 pm Brandon I’m feeling left out when my friends hang out so much please help me
puglife763 says December 23, 2017 at 4:38 pm that totes sucks cuz that happened 2 me and it was HORRIBLE!!!!!
Unicorn lover says December 18, 2017 at 12:52 pm Tell them how you feel and that you don’t feel comfortable choosing sides
Little miss no big deal says December 18, 2017 at 8:07 am just dont pick any one of them cause if you pick, one of them will end up hating you for the REST OF THIER LIVES.hahaha no big deal.
Popular peace girl says December 18, 2017 at 6:15 am If i was stuck in the middle i would say friends i like both of you and i do not want to pick a side so lets forget that this even happened
Janani says December 17, 2017 at 6:05 pm Don’t pick a side it will hurt the other friends feelings knowing they are both your FRIENDS. I say to describe how you are feeling in front of both of them.
Janani says December 17, 2017 at 6:03 pm I would keep both friends, and not tell one friend to get out and the other friend to actually be my friend. I would tell them my feelings and my emotions so they understand.
Unidork101 says December 17, 2017 at 2:33 pm HI I really want to talk to my crush but I’m nervous that he wont like me so can you help not be nervous
Katniss Everdeen says December 17, 2017 at 7:23 am I would try 2 get then 2 be nice 2 each other and then i would tell them that i would not choose 1 of u but both of u. This happened 2 me once and i tried2 talk them into all 3 of us bein BFF
- Friendship Trouble says December 16, 2017 at 11:53 pm That is the exact same thing i had to go through my friends got into a argument and told me to pick a side. I kept telling them that i can’t pick a side because i like them both. But they kept telling me to picka side and finally i gave up and picked a side! I of my friend got really mad at me!