Sometimes, my mom is cool. And then, OMG!! Sometimes, it’s like something SNAPS inside her, and everything she’s kept locked up tight EXPLODES out of her like a hurricane through an ant hill and WE’RE the poor little ants getting blown to smithereens!!!
Like this morning at breakfast. All I did was ask her for a glass of orange juice. Is that so much to ask??? Some nutrition to start my day?? Really, it’s kind of her JOB.
But that started her off on a RANT the likes of which I’d never SEEN before!! My diary doesn’t even have enough pages to contain it all!! Here are a few highlights:
YOU have two legs, don’t you??? Do your arms work??? Do you KNOW how to pour juice??? Of course, if you get the juice, you’ll leave the carton on the counter and it will SPOIL unless I come along and put it AWAY and also you’ll leave your dirty glass out when you’re done, and it will NEVER get washed unless I come along a wash it…
This went on for a WHILE.
And THEN when she finally lost steam, my dad suggested maybe we could all start doing more housework.
Which is how I ended up raking leaves outside. WHICH, I would like to point out, is NOT housework. It’s YARD work. My mom said NOTHING about yard work. My Dad TOTALLY took advantage of the situation and added yard work to the mix! ☹
But there I was raking leaves that kept blowing all over the place, and then raking them again. It was like I was getting punished for something. I don’t know WHAT my crime was!!! Trying to get some vitamin C????
When Brianna finished her chore—dusting the living room, which takes about five seconds—she came running outside.
“YAY! LEAF PILES!! WHEEEEEE!!!!” She screeched.
And before I could stop her, she jumped into my best pile.
“Ugh, Brianna!!!” I was about to go off on her, but then I saw her goofy face and thought about how much my mom had already yelled at us this morning.
“Okay, look,” I muttered, “Just help me get these leaves back into a nice pile, okay?”
She said okay and messed the pile up even more as she climbed out of it.
We only had one rake, and it was way too big for Brianna anyway, so she went inside the house and came back out with…a spatula.
I wanted to ask her if she’d lost her mind, but then I figured if she was busy trying to get the leaves up with a spatula, at least she wouldn’t be diving into them.
We’d finally gotten them back into a pile (well, I’D finally gotten them back into a pile and Brianna never jumped in it, thank goodness) when a professional yard guy came down the sidewalk with—I KID YOU NOT—a leaf blower!!!!
He had the dang thing ON, with giant headphones protecting his ears from the roaring. But that meant he also didn’t hear US when we shouted at him NOT to blow over OUR leaf pile!!!!
But he TOTALLY DID!!!!!
I sank down to the leaf-covered ground.
“I give up!!” I shrieked. But he obviously couldn’t hear me.
“Don’t give up, Nikki,” Brianna said, patting my shoulder. Then she reached down, picked up an armful of leaves and threw them in the air. “Look how pretty they are!”
She was making the mess worse. But also? The leaves WERE pretty. I picked up a handful and threw them in the air.
A minute later, we were having a fun, full-blown leaf fight!
Sure, it took me all afternoon to finally wrangle those leaves into yard waste bags, but it was worth it.
And tomorrow morning? I’m getting my OWN orange juice so that mom won’t freak out and make me rake them again!! ☹
Do you like jumping into leaf piles? What’s your fav fall activity? Tell us all about it in the comments below!