February 21, 2012 7 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOUR CRUSH IS INTO YOU! There’s nothing more annoying than having a big fat crush on someone and not knowing if he’s into you, too. OK, so maybe there are SOME things that are more annoying…like getting a big wedgie when you’re dancing center stage in the talent show, but you know what I mean! Back to crushes… Doesn’t it drive you crazy when he smiles at you in the hallway, and you’re not sure if it’s because he thinks you look super cute OR he’s really smiling at the CCP behind you? Or, what about when he asks for your phone number, and you’re not sure if it’s because he can’t wait to talk to you after school OR he wants to have it in case he needs help with his homework some time? Totally stressful, right? Tell me about it!! Why don’t boys just come right out and say, “I think you’re awesome and I have a big fat crush on you!!”? I remember when I was in first grade, this boy named Darby (who would name their son that??) used to throw sand in my eyes every time we went to the playground. My mom was all like, “That means he has a crush on you!” Um, really? In what world does nearly BLINDING someone equal a show of love? That’s not what I do when I have a crush on someone! When I’m totally into a boy, I doodle his name in my notebook, talk about him 24/7, and then ask pretty much everyone I know, “Do you think he has a crush on me too?!?” OK, so I’m no better than boys! Since we’re all way too scared to just tell each other what’s up, I came up with the little guide based on super scientific research I’ve done in the past. (And by “super scientific research,” I mean I’ve watched what Theodore has been doing to Zoey, because I know that boy has it bad!!) You know your crush is into you when: 1. You catch him looking at you in class. Did you just happen to lock eyes five times while taking a test recently? Unless you had the answers written on the side of your face, it’s because he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 2. He pauses a lot when he’s talking to you. It’s probably not because he’s a super slow thinker. It’s because he wants to say the right things because he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 3. He knows stuff about you, like what activities you do after school, without you telling him. Unless you’ve been emailing him your life story, one chapter at a time, he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 4. He just happens to walk by your locker all the time, even though his is nowhere near yours. Unless your side of the school smells awesome, like sizzling bacon, he’s walking over there because he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 5. He drops things a lot when he talks to you. It’s not because he has some kind of disease that makes him tremor 24/7. He’s just nervous because he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 6. He asks your friends stuff about you. I know, I know, he could be completing an English assignment to write about all the girls in school. OR maybe it’s the way more obvious answer…He’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 7. He laughs at your jokes, even the silly ones. That knock-knock joke you busted out in homeroom? Nope, not funny! It’s just that he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! 8. He defends you against CCPs. Remember when that evil girl said something obnoxious, like, “Where did you buy your shirt? The 99 Cents Store??” And he was all like, “I think it’s kind of cool.” He’s not just REALLY into girls’ fashion. It’s just that he’s TOTALLY INTO YOU! So that’s my super scientific research! What do you think…good stuff? If your crush likes you too, how did you find out? Update: I just noticed I actually gave you 8 ways, not 7, like the title says. My bad! Consider the 8th one a bonus.