October 26, 2011 HALLOWEEN AND FLAT BROKE! Halloween is SO much fun when you have buckets of cash to buy a fancy costume. But I’m FLAT BROKE! In September, my dad was all like, “Save your allowance, because you’ll need to buy a costume next month!” I totally thought he was kidding, like when he says, “You might enjoy Frank Sinatra’s music” or “You can date when you’re 21!” But nope! He absolutely meant it, and now I’m kind of FREAKING OUT about what I’m going to wear!! Luckily, I don’t have to babysit Brianna and her friends at some LAME party, like I did last year. But I’m not totally sure what I’m going to do yet. So far, no one (and you know who I mean!!) has asked me to the Halloween dance yet. One thing at a time, though!! Right now, I’m all about the costume! I’ve been putting some thought into what I can be that won’t cost a lot of money. Since I have MAD art skills, I can definitely make something myself! Here’s what I’ve come up with: 1. A mermaid, like in Pirates of the Caribbean!! I have a sparkly bikini top, and I also have this shimmery green sheet that I could use to make the tail. (By “I have” I mean “my mom has on her bed.” I just know she will TOTALLY support me when I tell her how SUPER important this is!!) I’ll probably want to get some kind of long flowing wig. If I was a CCP, I wouldn’t have to worry about that, because I’d already have super fake hair extensions that make me look like a DERANGED Barbie doll. But I’m not, so I don’t, moving on! 2. A black cat. I’ll start with a black leotard and tights. Then I’ll take these old stuff animals I was going to give to Brianna, and rip them apart so I can glue furry bits all over the costume. I know Brianna will totally lose her stuff if I tell her I was going to give those to her, so shhhh! This is just between you and me! I’ll add ears and a tail, and whiskers with my mom’s black eye liner. Super easy, right? Maybe I’ll even carry around a milk bowl, but I’ll fill it with Milk Duds instead! 3. A beauty queen. And I’m not talking about Miss America—I’m talking about one of the ones from Toddlers and Tiaras! Seriously, how messed up is that show?! I think 2-year olds should be playing with blocks and drinking from sippy cups, not getting their eye brows waxed! But it’s a perfect costume for me! I just know I have some kind of sparkly dress from a dance recital when I was a kid. Then I’ll get a cheap plastic tiara, and write the word “toddler” somewhere on it. 4. Lady Gaga. This one would be the toughest, and not ‘cause I can’t make the costume. I SO can! It’s just that my dad might have a HEART ATTACK if I try to leave the house without pants or wearing stilt shoes. (If you have any ideas how make a Lady Gaga costume, I would be SUPER grateful!!!) 5. The floor of the movie theater. OK, so this one isn’t really glamorous or cute, but it would be definitely be the most creative and fun to make! I’d wear a pair of black pants and a long-sleeve black shirt. Then I’d get a ton of candy, eat it all with Chloe and Zoey (the fun part!) and glue the empty boxes and wrappers all over my clothes. Get it? ‘Cause the floor of the movie theater is black, and it ALWAYS has boxes and wrappers all over it! Maybe if I do this, I can send a picture of me in my costume to the local movie theater, telling them why they should DEFINITELY hire me to clean up after shows. Then I won’t be FLAT BROKE for Halloween next year!