GOING CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!

Arrrrrgggggh! That’s me TOTALLY stressing out!

Remember how I told you all about my super awesome Christmas wish list last week? Today I’m working on a list that’s WAY harder to make because I have to figure out what to get other people. I’m SO bad at this!!!

Every year I give my Dad some LAME cliché Dad gift that he really doesn’t want, and then he pretends he can totally use it all the time. (I think that’s a rule in the Dad handbook: Thou shalt always smile and say, “It’s just what I wanted!” even if your daughter wrapped a can of spam in aluminum foil and called it a present.)

This one year I got him cheap cologne that smelled like barbecued food. I figure he’s always so happy when he’s flipping burgers and wearing his “Kiss the Chef” apron, so why not? The first day he wore that stuff, it actually made him hurl! Maybe it was the salmonella version!

Then another time I got him a visor with hair on the top. He’s always complaining about his thinning hair. I thought he’d be psyched when he saw it! I’m pretty sure that gift actually made him cry a little…and I’m not talking about tears of joy!!

Don’t even let me get started on the gifts I’ve bought for my Mom!

Last year I decided to make her homemade bubble bath using this recipe I found online because I know she’s all about her “relaxation baths.” (I think it’s just to get away from the rest of us, because sometimes on the weekends she takes like three of them! I swear I’ve seen her bring full meals in there…)

Anywho, the first time she used the bubble bath I made, she broke out in hives all over her body! Then the next day, the tub looked all black and nasty, and it took a week to get someone to come fix it.

So basically, for Christmas I gave her gross itchy welts and seven days of stress and filth!

The Christmas before that I gave her a package of Spanx, which are these skin tight long underwear things that women wear to look slimmer.

I heard her tell Dad, “I think I have some junk in my trunk” and I totally thought she was talking about her butt…but she meant literal junk in her trunk! She was just asking Dad to help her unload it! I was so embarrassed when she opened my gift and was all like, “Umm, just what I needed…new underwear!”

I’m not really stressing out about what I’m going to buy Brianna. She’s SO easily amused! Seriously, I could give her an empty box and be all like, “I got you an imaginary friend for Miss Penelope!” and she’d be psyched. (We really need to get that girl some professional help…)

Then there are the friend gifts! I want to get something totally awesome for Chloe and Zoey because they’re the BEST FRIENDS a girl could have! But I have absolutely no idea what to get them! Books? Hair stuff? A framed picture of the three of us?

And what about Brandon?? Should I even get him anything at all? What if he gets me something and I have nothing to give him but a Tic Tac and an awkward smile? Or what if I get him something and then he doesn’t get me anything? OMG that would be so embarrassing!

I need ideas people!! What are you getting your parents for Christmas? Are you shopping for your friends and your crush?