I’ve done some pretty bonehead things before, like the time I wanted glittery lips for Halloween, but I didn’t have glittery makeup…so I put super glue on my lips and then kissed an open jar of glitter. Super glue + mouth = lips STUCK to teeth!
Then there was the time I challenged my friends to a “Who can eat the most mayonnaise?” contest…as in huge spoonfuls of the sticky white stuff. It tastes SO good on sandwiches, but half a jar of mayonnaise + ice cream from earlier in the day = an insanely long night of feeling super queasy like you’re about to throw up or something.
But nothing…and I mean NOTHING compares to the DUMBNESS of what I did today.
OMG I’m so embarrassed!! Deep breaths…
It all started when I noticed that Brandon seemed a little down at school and quieter than usual. I really missed that mega-watt smile of his.
So, I decided to do something to cheer Brandon up because he’s such an awesome person and I’m like THE best and most caring friend ever.
So I decided to decorate the inside of his locker. I figured if a bunch of mean boys could dump trash in MacKenzie’s, I could leave some sunshine in his!
I was going to put a bunch of funny pictures, bright streamers, a happy face sticker, and other silly things in there to make him smile, along with some Starbursts because candy always cheers ME up!
First I had to get his locker combination. I didn’t have to be Robert Downey Jr. to figure that out. (Get it? Because he played the detective Sherlock Holmes? Moving on…)
I pretty much just talked with him one day while we were walking between classes, and then watched him open his locker. (If only I could do that with people walking to their ATMs…THEN I could get an iPhone. Kidding! That would be SO illegal!)
Anywho, once I had the combination, all I had to do was pick a time when I knew he wouldn’t come to his locker. I chose lunch, because “thou shall never miss a meal” is pretty much in the boy rule book.
I was at his locker, putting all the stuff in there, and it was turning out awesome! It looked more festive than my last birthday party. Seriously, it was like Disneyland in a tiny metal box.
Just as I was walking away, I decided to look in my backpack to make sure I used everything I brought. I didn’t want to forget anything! It turns out I really did use EVERYTHING in there, because my diary was missing!
I’d shoved a huge pile of colored tissue paper and streamers in my bag, and I just grabbed the whole thing without realizing my diary was in that heap of stuff.
And then the bell rang and Brandon was walking right toward me! I’d planted my diary smack dab in the middle of his locker and then decorated it like a huge piñata. It was like I was saying, “Surprise! Here are all my secret thoughts and tons of doodles about how cute you are!”
I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t have time to get it out. I seriously had all of 10 seconds to decide on my next move.
Dang it! I have to run. My mom’s calling me and I have no idea why!
To be continued….