Remember I told you before that sometimes I think my mom is BRAIN DEAD? Today is one of those days.
It’s been raining all afternoon, which is super LAME. Even worse, the cable went out!
I yelled, “Maaaaaaa!!!!” But she didn’t answer. So I ran into her room, and she was taking a nap. After I shook her for a good five minutes, she mumbled, “It happened last week, too. Our cable company stinks. It should be back soon, and the Internet, too.”
The Internet, too?!? I ran to my computer so fast that I almost tripped and fell flat on my face. She was right. The Internet was down, too!
So I ran back and said, “When will it be back?!?” And then she said that last week they were down for two hours.
I was all like, “Noooooo!!!” like someone running in slow motion away from a massive explosion. I had my whole afternoon planned, and it wasn’t going to work without TV or the web. I mean it was raining so bad that my house was starting to feel like a submarine. What else could I do?
After about 10 minutes of staring at the TV, trying to will it back on with my superhuman mind powers, I went back in my Mom’s room, and said, “I’m SOOOO bored!!”
And she said, “You’re too smart to be bored, Nikki. Find something to do and let me sleep, K?”
Too smart to be bored? What kind of dumb logic is that??
I sat fuming for a good 10 minutes, and then realized my mom was right…our cable company stinks!
Since I clearly wasn’t going to get to watch TV, I needed to find something to do with my time. I decided to make this list of things to do when you’re bored when there’s no TV or Internet so I’d be covered if this happened again. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Make your bratty little sister give you a manicure and pedicure.
2. Use your mad art skills to give yourself a tattoo…but don’t let anyone see it! They might all want you to give them tattoos, too, and that can be super overwhelming!
3. Make homemade fake puke so that you have a stash if you want to stay home from school in the near future. (It’s always good to be prepared! Just be sure you put it in the fridge and label it “Science Project” so no one eats it or figures out what it is.)
4. Take pictures of all your old worn-out clothes so you can provide concrete proof to your parents that you are fashion-challenged and they absolutely HAVE to take you to the mall for a shopping spree.
5. Pretend you’re living in a real-life social network. Poke your brothers and sisters. Run up to your parents and give them a status update: “I just ate a rice krispie treat. Yum!” or “I have to pee so bad! TTYL!”
OK so it’s just a short list, but it’s a start!
And now that the cable and Internet are back, I get to enjoy my surfing with smiley faces on my toe nails, a giant blue butterfly on my hand, two jars of fake puke in the fridge, a photo album full of gross old stretch pants to use as leverage for future shopping…and annoyed Mom who now knows TMI about my snacking and bathroom habits.
What do YOU do when you’re bored? Inquiring minds want to know!!
