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Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

7

March 15, 2012

FAMILY ROAD TRIP ESSENTIALS

Yipppppeeeee!! My family’s going away for the weekend and I’m super psyched! My Dad’s friend is letting us use his lake cottage, and even though it’s too cold to swim, there’s a TON of fun stuff we can do, like bike riding and maybe even renting a boat.

OMG so fun!!

I really wanted to invite Chloe and Zoey, but Dad was all like, “I don’t drive a clown car, Nikki! We can’t just squeeze all your BEF’s into it!” I think he meant BFFs. Seriously, old people shouldn’t use young people slang. It’s painful to hear it, like nails down a chalk board.

The lake’s a few hours away, so there’s a distinct possibility I may die from Briannitis (the clinical name for Brianna overexposure). It’s not a recognized condition, but I think they should add it to Web MD. It would look a little something like this:

Briannitis (Brianna overexposure):

Briannitis is a serious, chronic condition, resulting from overexposure to crazy, bratty siblings who sing excessively and off-key in confined spaces, like cars. Symptoms can include bleeding ears, exploding ear drums, and sudden death.

I tried to tell Dad that bringing Brianna was a serious risk to my health, but he wasn’t buying it. Oh well…we’re going away for the weekend.

Yippppppeeeee!

Since spending hours in a car with my whole family feels a lot like getting a root canal, I’ve come up with a list of road trip essentials.

This way, I’ll have tons of stuff to keep myself busy, so I can tune my mom out when she’s all like, “Who wants to sing ‘Row Row Row Your Boat’ in a round?” Or when she suggests some lame car game, like I Spy or 20 Questions.

Here’s what I got so far:

-iPod, loaded with every song by Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Lady Gaga

-My sketch book, colored pencils, colored pens, and assorted markers

-At least 4 magazines

-One, preferably two, Mad Libs books

-My diary

-A portable DVD player (note to self: make a batch of fake vomit, fake sickness at 10:00 PM tonight, and then guilt Dad into buying a portable DVD player. Remember to have a miraculous recovery tomorrow when Dad gets home from work, just in time to head to Best Buy!)

-A fuzzy pillow, in case I feel like dreaming of all the fun I’m going to have over the weekend!

-A bag of snacks, including crackers, cookies, cupcakes, chips, pretzels, and an apple (to put on top, so my Mom assumes it’s a bunch of healthy stuff)

– A camera to take tons of pictures that I will later complain I can’t add to Facebook, since Mom is totally weird about me putting personal pictures online

-Masking tape, to tape a line on the middle of the back seat that Brianna is absolutely NOT allowed to cross

So that’s what I got so far. I think that should be enough to keep me busy, and immune to Briannitis, for at least a few hours. At least I hope!

Do you have any ideas for new music I can put on my iPod? What about magazines…which ones do you like to read?

Category: My Diary nikki

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