March 8, 2012 MACKENZIE AND THE BIGGEST SCAB EVER Sitting in lunch today was a lot like watching a car wreck. It was all just HORRIBLE to watch, and yet I couldn’t look away! Chloe and Zoey were late to lunch because they were doing something in the library, so I was just sitting there, chilling with my sandwich for a bit. MacKenzie and Jessica were sitting at their table, talking about her LAME Fab 4-Ever fashions. She was doodling in her notebook, and Jessica was telling her how super talented she is. (Which I MIGHT agree with…IF I was blind and deaf!) Pat was sitting a couple tables over being even more obnoxious. That kid is just SO totally mean! He had a different “yo mama” joke for everyone who walked by. As in, “Yo mama’s so fat she wears a tent for a dress!” Then I saw it from across the room: Jason Booger walking toward me! I was kind of terrified that he might bring me another scab again…and that’s the last thing I need to see during lunch! I mean, it’s never really a good time of day to get someone else’s crusty piece of scabby skin, but it’s super un-cool when you’re eating!! I decided to look down at my feet, like my sneakers were putting on a fascinating shoe show that I just HAD to watch. I don’t know why I thought that would make Jason go away. Sometimes when I play Hide and Seek with Brianna, she just sits there and puts her hands over her eyes…as if I can’t see her just because she can’t see me. I kind of hoped it would work that way with Jason, but nope! It didn’t! I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was still walking toward me. Then I realized he wasn’t actually walking toward ME…he was walking toward MacKenzie! He must have been pretty offended that I didn’t take his scab in English the other day. And somewhere inside his CRAZY dog mind he thought, “I’m going to find an even bigger, BETTER scab and give it to someone who’ll really appreciate it!” He walked right up to MacKenzie, growled at Jessica, and then opened his hand to reveal the biggest scab I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I wasn’t even sitting at their table and I could see it glistening with pus like a massive star in the sky! I was actually kind of nervous for the kid, because I knew MacKenzie was going to TOTALLY lose it! She screeched super loud, and then she was like, “OH MY GOD Jason BOOGER! You are SO gross!!!” I think Jason started tearing up. That kid REALLY loves his scabs! He put his head down like he was all wounded and stuff, and he started to walk away. Then Pat stuck out his foot and tripped him. So of course he started barking at Pat when he got up, and then Pat got all up in his face like he wanted to fight or something. It turned into this HUGE lunchtime riot, with some kids cheering for Pat, and other kids yelling, “Booger, Booger, Booger!!” A bunch of teachers had to calm everyone down, and both Pat and Jason got detention. When Chloe and Zoey came in, I was like, “OMG you guys missed some crazy drama!!” They didn’t believe me when I told them. I mean, I know I have a great imagination, but even I couldn’t make up a story like that! I hope Jason’s not too sad or anything. I mean, I know he’s super weird, but no one deserves to be tripped or yelled at! Well, that’s it for now! I have to go write another poem for English. I’m thinking of writing about what happened today and titling it “Ode to a Massive Scab.” Ttyl!