OMG I had a HORRIBLE day yesterday!!! I had to go to the dentist for a cleaning, which is about as much as fun as being poked in the eye with a tooth pick while Brianna sings “This is the song that never ends.”
Seriously, I HATE the dentist!! I mean, I don’t hate the dentist himself. He’s actually a pretty nice guy. His name is Doctor Bob and he wears super colorful clothes underneath his white coat.
And he tries to make the dentist’s office fun. He always does cheesy magic tricks, like pulling a quarter out of my ear, and he makes me a balloon animal after every appointment.
Yup, my dentist treats ALL his patients like they’re five years old.
My appointment yesterday stunk so bad because the dental hygienist, Mary, found two cavities…and then she was like, “The next appointment cancelled, so Dr. Bob can fill those up right now!”
Then I went, “Um, sure, okay, sounds good…oh darn! I just remembered I’m supposed to go to a…knitting circle this afternoon, so I guess we’ll have to pick a different day!”
I’m so bad with lying on the spot! But knitting circle?!? Was I suddenly an Amish grandmother??
Couldn’t I have told them I was supposed to go to a birthday party? Or my mom needed me for something? Or my left foot started bleeding spontaneously so I had to go home to bandage it?
Anything would have made more sense than a knitting circle!!
Mary was like, “Cavities are scary, huh, kiddo?”
She knew. Dang it!!!
I realized then I was going to have to get the stupid cavities filled eventually, so I might as well just suck it up and get it over with.
When Dr. Bob walked in the room, with a HUGE smile on his face and colorful balloons hanging out of his coat pockets, I thought he looked like one of those creepy, demonic clowns.
I had this vision of him coming at my mouth with a four foot needle and being all like, “This won’t hurt a bit, muahhahahaha!”
And then I screamed, “Why Dr. Bob? Why? What did I ever do to you?! Why do you hate me so much that you want to torture me this way?!?!” Except I said it in my head so no one heard it but me.
Before I knew it, Dr. Bob was putting normal sized needles in my mouth to numb me for the fillings. It’s not like I’m a baby about pain, but those things really hurt!
I started making little noises. I didn’t mean to! I was just SO uncomfortable!! He could tell I was nervous, so he kept saying weird stuff, like, “Just relax! We’re going to get those big meanies out of your teeth so they can’t hurt you no more!”
Seriously, someone needs to school this guy on the differences between a toddler and a teen!
I was squirming around a lot in my chair, while he continued to say super condescending things to me to try to make me feel better. If anyone else were there, it would have been TOTALLY embarrassing!!
Then I realized someone else WAS there! MacKenzie was there for an appointment too, and she was in the hallway giggling like a twisted hyena and videotaping the whole thing on her phone.
I SO don’t need another humiliating video on YouTube!!
I seriously thought I was going to break down in tears. I had to deal with two nasty fillings AND the nastiest person on the face of the earth, all in one HORRIBLE appointment.
Then I heard Mary in the hallway say something like, “Ms. Hollister, you’re not supposed to be in here. And even though Dr. Bob’s a handsome man, he doesn’t like being recorded!”
LOL! Like MacKenzie was taking the video because she has a crush on Dr. Bob…too funny!”
Mary took the phone and deleted it, which kind of made her my hero.
I tried to relax for the rest of the appointment, and I think I did a pretty good job. I’m just SO glad it’s all over with.
I HATE the dentist!!!