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Author:
Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

7

May 31, 2012

HOW NOT TO FLIRT!!

MacKenzie is SO super obvious about her crush on Brandon!!! Seriously, that girl is always trying to flirt with him and it drives me CRAZY!

I mean, forget for a minute that she should find someone else to crush on. (Isn’t it kind of obvious he’s not really into her?!?)

I think she also needs some serious lessons in flirting because she’s totally obnoxious about it!

I highly doubt you’re as clueless and delusional as MacKenzie. (You hang out here so you’re probably a super cool chick…or a dorky kind of cool like me!)

But just in case you need some help in the flirting department, I put together some tips on how NOT to flirt based on all the annoying things MacKenzie does!

1. Don’t apply lip gloss over and over again while pretending to look in your compact.

I have nothing against lip gloss, but when you need to replace it every three days because you put it on pretty much as often as you BREATHE you’re kind of overdoing it!

And everyone can tell when a girl’s just pretending to look in her mirror, but she’s REALLY staring at her crush while trying to look cool.

Newsflash: lips that look like they’ve been stung by 80 bees are SO not cool!

2. Don’t tilt your head to the side and play dumb.

MacKenzie will be all like, “So tell me, how does that camera work?” Um, how does a camera work? Really? This from the girl who humiliates people by putting embarrassing videos on YouTube?

She might as well just ask him, “So tell me again, what does an eye ball do?” Because it’s SO obvious she already knows and she’s just trying to talk to him!

3. Don’t flip your hair when you’re sitting in front of him in class.

The other day MacKenzie flipped her hair so many times I seriously thought it might start falling out. It’s like she was always touching it!

And then she’d look behind her to see if Brandon saw. I mean, I ASSUME she was looking to see if Brandon saw. Either that or she was SERIOUSLY crushing on the middle aged substitute teacher because he was hanging in the back of the class while we took a test.

Hey, that could have been it! MacKenzie just loves attention in general….even if it’s from a bald dude named Mr. Butt!

4. Don’t brag to sound cool.

As in, don’t say, “One day when I’m a famous fashion designer I’m definitely going to buy a MASSIVE mansion. I’ll have to be SUPER careful about who I date then because EVERYONE will want to go to all the hot events with me!”

No, MacKenzie didn’t say this directly to Brandon. She’s definitely a little more subtle than that!

But I was sitting not too far from her in lunch the other day with Chloe and Zoey, and then when Brandon walked by she raised her voice and started talking about her Fab-4-Ever fashions.

The cool thing is he was actually walking over to me! Just to say hi. How sweet is that? 🙂

So those are my suggestions for how NOT to flirt. As for the right way to flirt, I have no idea! I’m not really good at it. I just try to be nice and not get all nervous. Because sometimes when I get too nervous I kind of feel like I want to hurl.

I know, I’m such a dork!!!

Do you have any flirting tips…things to do and NOT to do??

Category: My Diary nikki

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