May 3, 2012 THE CCP RULES OF DODGEBALL Dodgeball might be the worst gym game ever!! I’ve heard it’s actually banned in a ton of different schools because kids can get hurt. But it’s not banned in mine! In case you’ve never played dodgeball, I’ll explain what it is. Basically, there are two teams, and a ton of balls. And the object is to throw the balls to the other side so you hit people on the other team. When you hit them, they’re out. When everyone is out on one team, the other team wins. I used to LOVE dodgeball! I remember in like, second grade, it was so much fun! I always got the most people out AND I won a ton. But I didn’t have to deal with CRAZY CCPs back then! Now dodgeball is a torturous game of pain and humiliation…and it’s all because the CCPs totally make their own rules! REAL RULE: The game starts with a rush…meaning everyone runs to the center of the court to grab as many balls as possible. You’re absolutely NOT allowed to grab a ball out of another player’s hand! CCP RULE: If a dork’s holding a ball and you want it, just yell, “Time out! She grabbed that ball RIGHT out of my hand!” There’s no video camera in the gym, so it’s really just your word against hers…which means the nastiest liar wins! REAL RULE: No substitutions can be made during a game. That means you can’t have someone else switch places with you because you’re tired…once you’re in there, you finish the game! CCP RULE: If someone throws the ball at MacKenzie’s hand and she breaks a nail, she cries like a big baby and the teacher lets Jessica take her place. Then Jessica chucks the ball at the head of the person who broke MacKenzie’s nail to get revenge. Keep in mind, this is totally not allowed. If you hit someone’s head, you’re supposed to be out! But if you’re a CCP, you just say, “That dork moved her head RIGHT into the ball ON PURPOSE to try to get me out!!” REAL RULE: When you get hit with a ball, you’re out! CCP RULE: If you get hit with a ball and you don’t feel like being out, run really quick in the other direction and then start talking trash about someone on the opposite team to create a diversion. Like, “Chloe you’re SO bad at sports, this is probably the only game you can play. Why don’t you go back to the library DORK!” Everyone will be so busy reacting to the dodgeball drama they’ll forget about you getting hit with the ball! (Yes, I’m talking about MacKenzie again!) REAL RULE: During an elimination game, the team who has no more people left loses. CCP RULE: When the CCP team has no more people left, they scream, “Nikki cheated!” Yup…this actually happened today! Jessica CLAIMED I got hit with a ball and then I threw it really fast and got someone on their team out, so no one realized I actually got hit. But for some reason, she waited until their WHOLE team was eliminated to decide I cheated like, five minutes before. Seriously, our gym teacher needs to pay more attention to what’s going on in the game!! So those are the CCP rules, which basically boil down to one main rule: Lie, cheat, and steal if it helps you win the game! Of course the CCPs won every game today. And they totally gloated about it too. I hope we play something different next time. CCP Dodgeball is NO fun!! Do you guys play dodgeball in gym? What’s your favorite gym sport?