August 23, 2012 HOW BRIANNA ALMOST GOT US ARRESTED! OK, so she didn’t almost get us arrested by the cops. That was hyperbole my friends! But she DID create MAJOR trouble on Sunday! Remember I told you I decided to take her out with Chloe, Zoey, and me on Sunday? I knew we couldn’t go anywhere too far because Mom likes Brianna close to home, so we decided to have a picnic in this park near my house. I figured Brianna would play on the swings, and we’d take turns pushing her, while the other two of us could just kind of chill and talk. Win, win! When we got there, Brianna didn’t want to go on the swings. She was all like, “The swings are BORING! Let’s play Frisbee!” I told her we didn’t bring one. She said, “Then make one!” So I went, “OK, sure! I’ll just whip one up with these twigs and a rock! I’m not a Frisbee maker Brianna!” Then she started crying. OMG what was her deal?! I took her out with us. I was pushing her on the swing. She needed to CHILL! Then I realized the problem. There was this big party going on not too far from us in the park, and someone rented one of those big bouncy houses. Brianna was all upset because she LOVES those things. She’ll jump on anything that bounces or jiggles even a little! Trampolines, beds, my dad’s stomach…you name it! I whispered to Chloe and Zoey to tell them what was up, and then Zoey said, “Wow that bouncy house looks like it’s not fun at all! Seriously, it’s the worst bouncy house I’ve ever seen!” Chloe jumped in with, “I can’t believe they even let them rent that thing! They might as well have given them a dirty old mattress from the junkyard!” I looked at Brianna to see if it was working, but she still had this big pout on her face. Then all of a sudden she said, “Yeah, that bouncy house stinks BIG TIME!” Then she started laughing so hard that she snorted a little, so Chloe and Zoey started laughing, too. But Brianna thought they were laughing because she was super cool and funny, so she kept saying, “Stinky bouncy house!!” It was like someone put a spotlight on her and gave her a microphone, because all of a sudden she became this over-the-top cheesy comedian. She started running around, calling everything stinky. She was like, “Stinky grass! Oh you think you’re so cool just because you’re all GREEN! Well you’re not, stinky grass!” Then she ran to the swings and screamed, “Stinky swing!! Want to know why no one’s swinging on you?! Because you’re STINKY!” We all kept laughing, because we figured this was better than her crying. Then she started bolting toward the bouncy house. OMG I panicked big time! She was flailing her arms, running and giggling like a demonic little elf. There were a ton of little kids jumping in that thing, and their parents were all hanging out around it. We ran after her, but she got there first…and she jumped in! She started throwing her body around, screaming, “STINKY jumpy house!! NO BODY likes you STINKY jumpy house!!” The other kids inside looked terrified! This little girl started crying. She was like, “Mommy there’s someone being mean to the bouncy house!” I followed her in to try to get her out, but she was out of control! It’s super hard to hold someone’s hand and pull them away when they’re jumping around. I know, because I tried and she accidentally punched me in the face…REALLY hard! I didn’t want to do it, but I started crying. I mean, not like loud wailing or anything, but still. Brianna noticed and then SHE started crying. It was just a TOTAL mess! I finally got her out of there and told the adults we were sorry. One of them was taking deep breaths, like she was trying really hard not to FLIP out. Then she gritted her teeth and said, “Where are your parents girls?!?” That didn’t sound good! I decided to just take her home so she didn’t cause any more trouble. I’m NEVER taking Brianna out with us again!