September 8, 2012 WHEN YOUR FRIEND TELLS YOUR CRUSH YOU LIKE HIM This Ask Nikki question comes from Guadalupe. She writes: My friend is in the same class as my crush, not me, and she told him I like him. At lunch, he told me, “Your friend told me a secret that I don’t like.” In my mind, I was like “NO?!” What do I do? My advice: Hey Guadalupe! I’m so sorry your crush said that to you!! That’s such a bummer! First things first, I’d say talk to your friend and see what she said. I mean, if you asked her not to say anything to him and she did anyway, that’s not cool! I’d be pretty MORTIFIED if Chloe or Zoey told Brandon I’m into him (even though it’s about as obvious as the MASSIVE roach on my Dad’s van!) So you probably want to figure out what happened there, just to keep things cool with your friendship. I mean, you need to know that you can keep each other’s secrets! If you guys never talked about her not saying anything, she might say she was just trying to help. And that’s good in some ways…that she was looking out for you. Still, if you’d rather her ASK before saying something like that, you should tell her so she knows! Now onto the crush part….what he said was TOTALLY harsh! I mean, to just walk up to you and say that doesn’t sound really nice. Is he usually sweet? Do you know him pretty well? On the one hand, if he’s not in your class and you haven’t gotten a chance to get to know him, maybe he’s not as awesome as you thought. Even if he WASN’T into you, he didn’t have to be mean about it! But it’s POSSIBLE he was talking about a different secret. Or maybe he didn’t say what he meant to say. Or maybe it just came out wrong. So the way I see it, you have a few options. 1. You can be SUPER bold and ask him, “What was the secret, and why didn’t you like it?” OK, I admit this one won’t be easy. I might turn bright red if I tried to have this conversation with Brandon!! But if you do this, at least you’ll know exactly what he meant so you don’t have to guess! (I am SO bad at guessing what guys are thinking…this one time I thought Brandon was TOTALLY mad at me. Turns out he ate a bad burrito and THAT was why he had a funny look on his face!) 2. You could have your friend ask him what he meant in their class. If you’re too nervous to bring it up with him again, you can ask your friend to ask for you. The downside to this one is that you don’t actually get to hear it yourself. Also, this keeps you in the habit of being SUPER nervous around your crush and not really saying what you want to say. But the good part is that you get to find out what he meant without having to hear it if he’s mean and rude again. No matter WHAT he says, know that you’re awesome!! Maybe he isn’t into you because he doesn’t know you really well. Or he likes girls who are older than him. Or whatever! If he doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean you did something wrong or there’s something wrong with you…it just means you’re not a good crush match! What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Guadalupe?