November 24, 2012 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR TWO BFFS WANT YOU TO CHOOSE ONE This question comes from Cymia. She writes: Hi! My name is Cymia. I have BFF trouble. Okay, so I have these two BFFs. I knew one of them ever since 5th grade. I met the other at the beginning of this school year. The one who I knew since 5th grade doesn’t like or trust my other BFF. They are now making me choose. What should I do? My advice: Hi Cymia! It sounds like you’re in a pretty stressful position. I mean, I was new in school, and I can just imagine how hard it would be for Chloe or Zoey if one of them told the other, “It’s me or her!” And as for me, I’d be crushed! That would totally stink if they got me in the janitor’s closet and said, “Nice knowing you, but we chose each other, and this is OUR secret meeting room now! Leave your BFF necklace on the way out!” I guess my question for you is: Are BOTH friends usually understanding and supportive and stuff? It sounds like they’re both afraid of losing your friendship…but still, they’re not really considering YOUR feelings by making you choose between them! If they’re usually great friends and you really like hanging out with them, I’d sit them each down, one at a time, and tell them what’s up! For the friend you’ve known since 5th grade, you could say: “We’ve been friends for a long time, and I hope we’re friends a lot longer! But I need to make new friends too. We don’t all have to hang out together if you don’t want to give her a chance…but I really like her, and I don’t have any good reason to ditch her.” Then for the new friend, you could say something kind of similar, like: “I’m psyched that we’ve become super close friends, and I want to stay that way…but I’ve been friends with her for a long time, and I really love hanging out with her. We don’t all have to hang out together, but I want to be friends with both of you.” Let’s say one of them says something like, “Nope! Sorry! You lost your chance at being my friend!” That’s about as inconsiderate and ridiculous as saying, “I said it was me or your right eye ball. If you’re keeping it, I’m out of here!” A good friend would NEVER make you give up something you need, want, or value! So that’s my advice: If you don’t want to choose, don’t, and if one of them chooses for you, it’s probably for the best! What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Cymia?