This question comes from Jean, who writes:
I am definitely not sociable. I try, but I feel so not up to it. I mean, when I say anything I tend to stutter, unbelievably without me noticing. And there are, of course, CCP gals in my school, and they annoy me. And I always feel so ignored by others. I have some friends, but I kind of always over-think things and worry about what others think of me. I’d really like some tips on how to be more confident.
Hi Jean! This is a question I can TOTALLY relate to! I’m not always confident either. And sometimes I stutter, too…usually when I have RCS (roller coaster syndrome) around Brandon!
But I’ve also stuttered around the CCP girls, especially when they’re doing their whole I’m-way-cooler-than-you-so-I’m-going-to-pretend-I-don’t-notice-you-and-I-might-even-walk-RIGHT-INTO-YOU-just-to-let-you-know-you’re-an-invisible-dork thing!
I HATE when MacKenzie does that!! This one time, I was sitting in front of my locker trying to finish this homework I forgot to do (and by “forgot to do” I mean “didn’t do because I was Skype chatting with Brandon”!)
MacKenzie LITERALLY stepped on me. I mean, seriously! Who does that?!
Anyways, back to you! I have a few tips to help you feel less OMG-I-might-pee-myself nervous, and more I-couldn’t-care-less-if-you-don’t-like-me confident.
My first piece of advice: practice the physical side of confidence.
Walking with your eyes glued to your feet + letting your hair cover half your face = obvious lack of self-confidence.
Walking with your head up + looking into other people’s eyes = dang! That girl’s not afraid of ANYONE!
If you can stop the first and master the second, people will be less likely to ignore you because you won’t be hide-walking down the hall. (I made that up…it’s when you walk like you’re hoping no one sees you!)
Next, try not to take things so seriously.
Picture how you act when you have your best friend or your cousin over your house. You’re probably SUPER relaxed. And I bet you’re a lot of fun!
Maybe you make ridiculous jokes. Or you do the Gangnam Style dance. Or you play Truth or Dare and put your friend’s underwear in the freezer.
Basically, you’re chill and fun to be around! Try to bring that to school with you. People feel comfortable around people who seem comfortable with themselves.
So, instead of getting all trapped up in your head worrying about what people are thinking, try to laugh and get them laughing.
Then you’ll KNOW what they’re thinking: that girl CRACKS me up!
Lastly, when you feel insecure, think about stuff you’re confident about. So, maybe you’re really good at dancing or sports…or art, like me!
Whenever I start feeling like a TOTAL DORK around the CCPs, I remember that I’m really talented, and then I feel a lot better about myself.
Maybe YOU’RE talented, or athletic, or smart, or all three. When you start feeling nervous, remember why you’re awesome and you’ll feel a lot more relaxed!
So that’s my advice: look confident, act confident, and think confident. What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Jean?