This weekend I went to Italy, and it was a TOTAL disaster!!
I know what you’re thinking: “You went to Italy for the weekend? REALLY? Sounds like your pants are on fire, Miss COMPLETE AND UTTER liar!!”
You’re right! I didn’t actually GO to Italy. I REALLY wanted to, though!! I’ve been dying to do some serious traveling, but since I don’t have a passport, a massive backpack, or permission to leave my city, I’m kind of limited!
I knew I couldn’t get to Rome any time in the near future, so I decided to bring Rome to me!
I invited Chloe and Zoey to come over for an “Italy night,” and I thought I had the perfect plan.
We’d make our own pizza and gelato (super tasty Italian ice cream), listen to “That’s Amore,” and talk REALLY loud using our hands for emphasis.
(I’m not sure if they actually do that in Italy, but I’ve seen Italian characters act that way in movies!)
To make it even more fun, I decided we’d do an Italian-themed sleepover after we cooked and ate.
That meant I asked them each to bring a “sacco a pelo,” the Italian words for sleeping bag, because I’m pretty sure sleeping is one thing that’s the same across international lines!
When they got to my house at 7:00 on Saturday, I thought the night was off to a great start.
I had already bought dough, sauce, and pepperoni (even though I found out they don’t make pepperoni pizza in Italy…a compelling reason to rethink my travel plans for later in life…)
Chloe brought stuff to make chocolate gelato. And Zoey brought something SUPER cool…Italian teen magazines that she bought on eBay. We couldn’t understand the words, but One Direction looks cute in ANY language!!
RIGHT as we were about to start making the pizza, Brianna skipped in and said, “I want pizza!!!”
Then I yelled, “Moooom!! Brianna’s hungry!”
I meant that as in, “Feed your youngest daughter ASAP, and SOMEWHERE ELSE, so she doesn’t RUIN your oldest daughter’s theme night!!”
Then Mom yelled back, “Good thing you’re making pizza!”
I was SO annoyed! I really hoped she’d entertain Brianna for the night, but she was lying on the couch and not even slightly trying.
I was JUST about to march into the other room and say, “Really? Can I LIVE??” when I remembered she had cleaned the whole house that day.
I guess she kind of deserved a break. But I REALLY didn’t want to include Brianna in the whole pizza making process. I had a feeling she’d make a HUGE mess and end up freaking out…and I was right!
She threw the dough so high and hard that some of it stuck to the ceiling.
She decided the pepperoni and the sauce were “DOUGH-tally in love” and getting married, and then pretended the mozzarella was confetti…meaning she tossed it EVERYWHERE.
And then she decided to give Chloe a makeover and use the sauce as lipstick. She practically POURED it all over her face.
I don’t know what’s wrong with that girl! Seriously, it’s like she’s five or something. She’s not! She’s six…WAY too old for this stuff!
After all that pizza drama, Chloe and Zoey just wanted to chill in front of the TV in their sacco a pelos. When Zoey said they were going to get them, Brianna flipped out!
She whined, “I don’t have a sacco bello!!” because she had no idea it actually means sleeping bag.
She was so upset that she went and cried to Mom, who came in and asked, “Nikki, can you just let Brianna use your sacco bello??”
She must have been exhausted because she didn’t even ask what that was! I didn’t want to ruin the rest of her night, so finally I blurted out, “Let’s all watch Nemo!”
I knew Brianna would love that, but Nemo is DEFINITELY not an Italian fish, so that meant our theme night was over.I CAN’T WAIT until college. Every night will be a sleepover in my dorm room…WITHOUT Brianna!
