October 23, 2014 WHEN YOU THINK YOUR PARENT PLAYS FAVORITES Today’s question comes from Iona, who writes: My mom and I normally get along great, but recently she’s been acting like she loves my big sister more. She gives my sister anything when she asks for it, but if I ever ask for something, it’s “no” straight away. I’m starting to think my mom is getting bored of me or has stopped loving me. What should I do? My Advice: Awwww! I really wish I was there to give you a HUGE hug…and not one of those awkward side hugs you give your gross great aunt who smells like she bathes in cat pee and then moisturizes with mayonnaise. I mean a no-joke, hear-each-other’s-heartbeat, let-you-know-you’re-awesome hug, because I feel SUPER bad that you have to worry about this! I bet if your mom knew how you feel, she’d have this EXACT same reaction. I mean, it sounds like she really cares about you, or else you wouldn’t have gotten along great before. Maybe it only SEEMS like she loves your big sister more because she’s saying “yes” so much to her. And maybe she’s doing that because of something that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your sis. I remember this one time, I thought my mom loved Brianna more because it seemed like she was letting her get away with EVERYTHING and then coming down hard on me for all kinds of totally lame things. Like, Brianna would clog the toilet with goldfish crackers, Swedish fish, and even frozen fish sticks because “They wanted to go back to the ocean, like Nemo!” and my mom would laugh and say, “You’re so thoughtful! Let’s go get a sundae!” But I’d play my music a little too loud at night, and my mom would be all, “You really should know better. Until you learn to be more responsible with your music, you can forget about upgrading your iPod.” It seemed totally unfair! But then I found out some nasty little brat was calling Brianna names in school. (They were totally dumb, not even slightly creative names, like “doodoo head,” “booger face,” and “barf breath,” but little kids are SUPER sensitive!) It turned out my mom was being extra nice to her because she was trying to cheer her up. So really, it only SEEMED like she loved Brianna more. Maybe it’s the same with your sister. She could be going through something super tough, and your mom wishes she could help but can’t. So instead, she’s saying “yes” to everything. Or maybe your mom made some kind of huge mistake with your sister, and since she feels bad, she’s saying “yes” a lot to try to make up for it. Or maybe it’s just that your sister’s asking for things she’s allowed to have, because she’s older, and because you’re younger, your mom isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to give you the things you’re asking for. My point is, there are TONS of really great explanations that have nothing to do with your sister taking up 100% of your mom’s heart. I’m sure she couldn’t even if she tried, because there’s a big old reserved sign on the other side, and only YOU are allowed in that spot! If you can’t shake the feeling that your mom’s just not feeling you, I say you tell her what’s on your mind. When you get that HUGE, no-joke, hear-each-other’s-heartbeat, let-you-know-you’re-awesome hug, you’ll probably feel a lot better! What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Iona?
Caitlin says October 30, 2014 at 8:43 am My little brother always gets what he wants and when I ask it’s just NO! Right away.
Nikki J says October 30, 2014 at 7:39 am I feel the same way with my mom who is FOREVER taking sides with my little sister. Like, for example, if my sister takes my stuff and I scream, “Moooooooooom!!” she’ll say, “She’s just a seven year old. And she just wants to play.” and then she lets my sister off the hook.
Nikki J says October 30, 2014 at 7:30 am OMG I have the same problem! My mom is forever taking sides with my sister and it makes me want to explode with fury!
Minerva says October 30, 2014 at 6:59 am Yeah, But I’m the older sister and my young sister is such a brat and Mom lets her get away with it. But me? No way!
Catnip says October 30, 2014 at 3:26 am I’m the younger sister of the family, and I find the “bratty little sister” stereotypical title a little tired. Honestly, not all little sisters are bratty and spoilt and annoying! But I can see that my big brother must feel that I am being favoured by Mom. I wish that wouldn’t happen.
trinitee says October 29, 2014 at 10:55 pm i don’t have a sister but my mom does the same thing with my brother
Tanysha gryfffindor says October 29, 2014 at 8:37 pm Your mom will love you no matter what happens. Just believe that. When my sister was at home she got new supplies every year, but all I got was her old stuff with a few new things. But, it didn’t last long. Just wait and see
Dorkalicious says October 29, 2014 at 8:28 pm Nikki, I need advice, from anyone! Two of my friends and I read Dork Diaries and now students at my school call us dorks and we’ve lost a lot of friends. My newest friend has moved alot and been to SIX other schools. She is my closest friend and literally just moved in next door! If i lose her friendship…..my life will be over. What should i do! My other BFF just moved to my school last week! HER life MUST BE SOOOOOO ROUGH being new at school. The three of us (and please don’t find this creepy) dressed up like you for Halloween 7 years in a row. Please help us somebody! It feels like our friendship is in jeopardy! P.S.: Nikki, how did you keep on fake smiling during all of those accidents, ’cause my dog, keeps eating ALL the candy canes on the tree, that is super duper weird right!?