November 22, 2014 OVERCOMING PHONE PHOBIA Dear Brandon, I love talking on the phone to my BFFs and we can blab non-stop for hours. However, I just made some new guy friends at a karate class I recently joined. It’s easy for me to talk to them when we’re in class, but on the phone it’s totally AWKWARD! I’m happy to get their calls but after the “Hey, what’s up?” and my answer, “Um, not much!” there’s nothing but dead silence. Then, the guy quickly makes up a lame excuse for why he needs to hang up. It’s gotten so bad that I’m starting to freak out when my cell rings. Any suggestions for how to hold a phone conversation with guys? Thanks, Phone Phobia In Phoenix Dear Phone Phobia in Phoenix, I think I get what’s going on here. You’re feeling pressured on the phone because it’s just you and him with no other people or activities that you both can focus your attention on. In class, the focus isn’t all on what you have to say. The conversation isn’t forced, because it’s not the whole point of going to karate (or else you’d need to have competitive conversations to get your black belt). And if you happen to say something you think sounds dumb, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal, since the second after you say it everyone gets distracted by some kid who just broke five pieces of wood with his nose. However, when you talk on the phone, the pressure’s on because the only point of calling someone is to talk. So, it makes you feel super nervous and like you need to have something very interesting to say. The good news is, you don’t! See, these guys from your class aren’t calling you because they expect you to have some amazing thing to say to them. It’s not like they think you have a stand-up comedy routine prepared, or they’re hoping you’ll recite the Gettysburg Address, word for word. (That’s a speech from President Lincoln, in case you didn’t learn about that yet!) They’re only calling because they like you, which should go a long way in making you relax! That means the pressure is on them to come up with something to talk about. And if they don’t have anything to say, you have two choices: You could say, “Did you just call to say ‘hi’?” and then see if they come up with something better to talk about. Or, you could use this as an opportunity to get to know them beyond how well they kick and punch, and ask questions like, “So, what do you like to do when you’re not sparring at the dojo?” If you go the second way, odds are they’ll start asking questions about you, and before you know it, the conversation will be flowing. I’m sure these guys will be psyched if you decide to do that – because, let’s face it: they clearly like talking to you and want to know you better! I hope this helps!
Emma Kay p says November 28, 2014 at 11:59 am I gave my phone number to my crush and he calls me non stop worse of all I get really nervous!
Pearl says November 28, 2014 at 11:01 am To me its the total opposite I can talk to guys on my phone ,but i dont say a word to them in real person so its hard to communicate 🙁
Liz says November 28, 2014 at 10:13 am The first time I talked to my crush on the phone, I FREAKED OUT. It was suuuuuuuuppppppperrr awkward and I couldn’t think of anything to say. I made up a lame excuse that I needed to go walk my dog. (I don’t have a dog.)
Aubree says November 26, 2014 at 9:41 pm I always struggle on what to say on a phone convo XD AWESOME ADVICE
Dorkarella (The Advice Princess) says November 25, 2014 at 10:36 pm If I had a phone (which, BW, I’ll be getting in two years’ time), I would freak out if my crush called but if it’s one of my guy friends then I would relax. If my crush called, I would freak out like, “OMG! OMG! HE ACTUALLY CALLED ME!!! SQUEE!!! 😀 ” ~Dorkarella (The Advice Princess)
Joy, Melbourne, Australia says November 27, 2014 at 2:13 am Your life is just like mine. You also sound like Nikki
Auburn Cookie says November 25, 2014 at 6:29 am Can you give advice on how to get away from personal devices?
Alexis says November 24, 2014 at 8:27 pm I know, right? It seems like EVERYONE in my school has an IPhone, or atleast a flip-phone, but not me.
DakaDoubleAgent says November 25, 2014 at 9:32 am Tell me about it. All of my friends in my school even brought an IPad mini XD
Dorkarella (The Advice Princess) says November 25, 2014 at 11:18 am OMG you sound like me!! Even the first graders in my country have phones!!
Bailey says November 26, 2014 at 8:23 pm Hi Alexis I know exactly how you feel its like EVERYONE has a phone
Joy, Melbourne, Australia says November 27, 2014 at 2:11 am Flip phones are 19th century, I have never heard of someone wanting those type of phones, except dad who said his phone is ‘off’ and wants one of them. I begged him not to. Someone save me from humiliation!
SkaiJackson says November 24, 2014 at 5:59 pm I would do this: Guy-“Whats up?” You-“Nothin’ much.What are you doing this wknd?” Then your conversation can go on from there.You could invite him out for something or he could invite YOU out and you could accept.That is what you call the easy way out.Hope this advice helped. -SkaiJackson P.S. Watch my new ep of Jessie
I Give Advice So Ask Me And I Will Give You Some! :) says November 28, 2014 at 4:19 am My mom has a flip phone and they’re not that bad. It is better than nothing, and they can take apps and they’re cheap.
Dorkgirl518 says November 24, 2014 at 4:48 pm I think that was great advice as always! Also I think if I had a phone (wich I’ll be getting in 2 years) and boys that are my friends called me I would sort of relax but still freak out in my head because if it was like my crush I wouldn’t answer but if was like just one of the boys that are my friends I would be cool but here’s a tip never ever talk like hey I’m going to the nail salon later getting a French due on my nails it’s going to look super cute because your going to bore him to DEATH I tell you so just never talk like that or else he can tell his friends and the next time you see him and his friends the friends can be like hey how was it getting a French due and it can make you mad(wich would make me mad) and make you wanna karate chop them so that was my advice so you could add on from Brandon’s if you like but I’m just sayin to all those girls out there
Mercita says November 24, 2014 at 2:30 pm i have phone phobia ALMOST FLIP OUT WHEN MY PHONE RINGS JUST TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT THAT MIGHT HELP ;>
Hermione Granger says November 23, 2014 at 11:13 pm i have the same problem with my COUSIN!!! since she comes all the way from India, i expect her to tell me how it’s like there. but all that comes out is “how’s school?” and the same thing from me! now that phone phobia in pheonix, (ha! i’m reading harry potter and the order of the pheonix.) has come up with a question that is convenient for us all, i know what to do! thanks for the advice, Brandon! -hermione PS: eh… i have nothing to say… other then… nevermind… oooh, i do have something to say… but… oh, i’ll just stop…