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Rachel Renée Russell

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November 6, 2014

WHEN YOU MOVE AND YOUR BFF IGNORES YOU

Ask Nikki Arwork Nov 6

Today’s question came in anonymously. It reads:

My BFF and I always hung out together until I moved. Since then, I’ve received about five texts from her. The last thing I heard from her was: “Sorry I haven’t texted in a while. Middle school is hard.”

She ignores me 24/7. What should I do?

My Advice:

Hi there, Troubled and Textless! That totally stinks that you haven’t heard from your BFF all that much.

But she brings up a valid point: middle school can be SUPER hard…so hard that you can forget all kinds of things while you’re stressing about homework, CCPs, and whether or not your fake vomit has enough chunkage to look real.

It sounds to me like she’s not really IGNORING you…she’s just trying to keep up with everything else she has going on.

People don’t text “I’m sorry” when they’re ignoring you. Instead, they delete your number from their phone, unfollow you on Facebook, and conveniently disappear whenever you log on to Skype.

And maybe, just maybe, they text something not-so-subtle to ditch you, like, “I’m going to be SUPER swamped until I graduate in 2020. Probably won’t TTYL!” (That means “talk to you later,” in case you just discovered technology last night!)

Since she’s made the effort to text a little and apologized, I think she’s just doing her best to get stuff done AND keep in touch.

And she’s probably trying to adjust to you not being in her life every day, which is totally hard, since you used to hang out on the reg (more Internet slang for “regularly.” Didn’t know that? Stick around…I have a TON more to teach you!)

It’s not easy to adjust to a big change like that. Been there, done that, so I know!

Even though I had some awesome friends at my old school, I knew when I moved that they couldn’t be my Chloe and Zoey anymore.

I still keep in touch with those old friends, but since I don’t expect to chill with them at the mall or find them huddled in the janitor’s closet anytime soon, I don’t text them 24/7.

Maybe she’s coming to terms with that and trying to meet other people.

As much as you might want her to be your chat-every-day BFF, you might need to do the same thing.

But don’t worry! Your friendship isn’t going anywhere just because you did. It’s just changing.

And you won’t feel ignored and lonely forever. Soon enough you’ll have new friends blowing up your phone with “OMG, my crush just smiled at me!” and “Hey, girlfriend! I’ll save a seat for you in lunch!”

It just takes a little time!

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Troubled and Textless?

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: BFFnikki

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Comments

  1. Hermione Granger says

    November 13, 2014 at 12:12 am

    this is a situation that i have never experienced, though my advice to you is…. (drum roll)…. BE PATIENT!!! sure you want her to text you every minute of her life, but her life could be filled! i mean, i’m in grade 6 and i’m not able ot keep up school, after school lessons, being a leader, (yeah, my teacher thinks of me as a leader.) and even reading! my friend is way ahead of me in the harry potter series, and i started before her when she just rushes through the pages like I use to do! how does she even have time to keep everything up! same way, your BFF is busy with all of this stuff filling up her life; so maybe you should give her some time to catch up. that’s all folks! -Hermione

    PS: it’s actually bob here, i changed my name to hermione. 🙂
    PSS: hope you like your new home…!
    PSSS: and that your bff will soon text you back!

  2. ruby42ames says

    November 12, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    the exact same thing happened to me and she just got meaner and meaner NIKKI PLEASE HELP ME NOTHING WILL WORK! PLEASE YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME AND YOU ARE MY HERO! 😛

  3. Missing Pieces says

    November 12, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    You should call her or leave her a message of what’s going on. Maybe your friend is busy, or is not available right now.

  4. TardisCraft says

    November 12, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    MIRROR MIRROr on the wall, when can i get book eight… of them all? 😛

  5. BlueLover/Bluera says

    November 12, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    My BFF is just mean. I didn’t move though 🙁

  6. ella says

    November 12, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    I had that feeling twice/more than twice

  7. Bridget says

    November 12, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Just because you live far away doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends. 4 years ago I met a girl camping and now we are really good friends. We are both REALLLY busy, so it’s only like one a month that we text or face time. But I know I can count on her and she on me because we will always be there for each pther, even of she’s in another state.

  8. horselover says

    November 11, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    don’t worry I had the same problem my BFF moved 3 years ago. But that didn’t stop me
    from visiting her .Anyways I just wanted to say that try making new friends or just follow the instructions below

    1. convince our parents to visit her
    2. if that doesn’t work try making cute puppy face !!!
    3.try texting and ask her,her address and wait patiently !
    4.once you get her address ask your parents kindly to drive you there.

    I hope this helps you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Hopie Hops says

    November 11, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    You should text your BFF and tell her that your feeling ignored a bit and are just wondering if she still appreciates you? Don’t be too mean, but be direct! If my BFF ignored me, I’d ask what’s going on and why didn’t you text me? I feel like you don’t like me. Trust me, she’ll probably explain, and if not, tell her just to notice you a bit more. If the response is I don’t want to be your friend any more, ask why. If she makes fun of you by saying, like, “You’re a major DORK!” Say that you didn’t know she was so rude, and that you can maybe find another awesome friend. If that’s too hard to go through, try to make up. Best luck!!! 😉

  10. i luh u says

    November 11, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    this is the most scariest things to happen. its always hard to move,and when u bff ignores u! and its really hard to replace those bffs tht u known for some time

  11. habibo7 says

    November 11, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    ust talk it out next time she texts you

  12. Zoey says

    November 11, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    My bff is super mean to me. we have known each other since we were 2! Whenever I do something she doesn’t like she gets super mad at me!! Shes starting to get a little mean!! Please help!

    • Dorkarella says

      November 13, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Hi Zoey! I think I can help you!
      My BFF is something like that, just that she ignores me, gossips about me and listening to my conversations between me and my new BFF. Though I have not tried this out yet, I am gonna try it some day.
      The answer is…talk to her.
      This can be a bit scary, like as if you are gonna talk to your worst enemy, but just have confidence and say, “Hi (insert name). I noticed you have starting to be mean (or you can say ignoring, or something else, just DON’T make her even MORE angrier) to me recently. What happened? Did I do anything wrong?”
      You have to ask her if you did anything that upset her, because you said she will only get SUPERmad if you upset her. And she has no right to get mad over something you did not do or something you did that did not upset her! After all, she is your BFF!
      I hope this advice helps!
      ~ Dorkarella 😀

  13. Vicky says

    November 11, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    Hi im having the exact same situation my friend holly’s mum died last year and she left the school I cant imagine what it must of felt like but I know she probably dosnt remember me but true friends always remember each other and ive only phoned her once since she left as im not aloud to phone people and the only time I did phone her I did it secretly. so she probably remembers you and wishes you were there like my bff daisy she cried when holly left the school and kept saying she wished holly was there your friends probably like that also middle school is hard with all the bullys the strict teachers all the rules and all the useless time wasting horrible (I could make a massive list you know) homework.

  14. lilly says

    November 11, 2014 at 10:22 am

    nikki !! oh please say hi to me everyday we can chat !

  15. Hannah De Maria says

    November 11, 2014 at 8:23 am

    I’m your #1 fan1! XD

  16. Dorkarella says

    November 11, 2014 at 5:19 am

    P.S. Nikki, Book 8, Tales From A NOT-SO Happily Ever After, was awesome! I couldn’t stop reading it, even though I bought the book once it came out on 30 September! Hope you’ll make more books!

    • a random face in the crowd says

      November 12, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      i am replying to Actually i’m really not sure yet but yeah my best friend and i have rough times but it gets better so hope it helps i am in 6 grade so whatever i am going to ask his other best friend out

  17. Lorena Valencia says

    November 10, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    I know how you feel when your friend doesn’t call or text you and doing something else like what she likes. I had the same problem, 2 years ago I had a friend and we were best friends, I talk to her everyday until one day I tried to call her and she wouldn’t answer. I kept calling her for 4 weeks until then finally she talked to me and told me that she was so busy finding her phone until she found it! And I got so mad I just hung off and totally screamed!
    So that’s what happened, and i’m not lying it totally happened!

    • actually, i'm not really sure yet says

      November 11, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      in 4th grade my bff and i had like 20-50 fights and we have been bffs scince pre-k and we promised we would always be there for each other and yea, we broke that promise. In fith grade now. We’ve been in the same class for 6 years. Now we got seperated. 🙁 ether way just try to talk to her. If she ignores you again, if she tries to speak to you, walk away from her and she will know how it feels to be ignored.

      (p.s Nikki i emailed you with my brothers account, it is a serious problem that must be answered after we got robbed. H.E.L.P……M.E…….P.L.E.A.S.E……:) )

  18. Elise says

    November 10, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    My best friend from 5th grade lives far from me and goes to a different school this year so I call her or she calls me and we will chat on FaceTime I think you should to.

  19. OrchidQueen says

    November 10, 2014 at 7:48 pm

    just have Confidence

  20. Nikki T says

    November 10, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    my friend ignores me somtimes cause i moved its probaly because she is busy but just talk it out like say are you ignoring me or come up with an exciting topic and she might text you more BTW my friend is the famous roxy kittyucks

  21. Dorkgirl518 says

    November 10, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    First I feel so bad for you.
    Next why don’t you tell your friend how your really fellin on the inside just like the song why you gotta be so rude(I made that song) and just don’t keep your feelings in side or else you’ll be an emotional bomb just sayin 🙂

  22. lilliy765 says

    November 10, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    wow

  23. mackenzie says

    November 10, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Hi, it’s me, Mackenzie !! I have an answer for this girl!

    OK, I think it would be a good idea if you talk to your BFF in person because she might be missing you!! Because when you where in middle school together she had time for you, but now maybe someone is brainwashing her!

    I’d have a nice chat with her! If my advice does not work, please let me know!!

    • Allie says

      November 10, 2014 at 4:29 pm

      Hey Mackenzie!! Aren’t you new here?? Your advice rocks BTW!!

      Allie

    • Tanysha gryfffindor 3324 says

      November 11, 2014 at 10:01 pm

      I agree great advice Mackenzie

      Tanysha gryfffindor 3324

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