December 4, 2014 WHEN YOUR FRIENDS HANG OUT WITHOUT YOU Today’s question comes from Mary, who writes: Last week my two best friends went ice skating, and they didn’t invite me. I only found out because as I was walking into class, I heard them talking about what a great time they had. That same day, I had asked them to hang out, but one told me she had a ton of homework, and the other said she had family over. I’m confused! Do they not want to be friends with me anymore? My Advice: Hi Mary! I’m so sorry to hear about this super stressful ice skating drama! It sounds like your friends were pretty sneaky and inconsiderate, but its possible there’s some other explanation for this. Maybe they wanted to spend time together, just the two of them, and didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Maybe their moms planned the whole thing last minute and they couldn’t remember your mom’s number. Or, maybe they DID invite you, super quietly so you didn’t hear, and then you only DREAMED that they lied to you. OK, so that last one is pretty unlikely, but my point is, things aren’t always what they seem! The only way to know what REALLY happened is to ask them. I know you’re probably totally upset about this, but you want to confront them in a way that won’t make them feel defensive. (So that means you probably don’t want to shout, “Did you do your homework on the ice, liar number one?? Did your grandma do those spinning ice skating jumps with you, liar number two??) Your best bet is to ask them SEPARATELY how they ended up at the rink when they originally said they were going to do something else. If, for some reason, they were mad at you, and they talked about it while they were hanging out, they’ll probably be more honest about it if they’re not together. I’m not saying they’re definitely mad. For all you know they went ice skating without you so they could plan an awesome surprise party for you! You won’t know until you ask. Hopefully, when you do, they’ll remind you why they’re your BFFs with some totally understandable explanation, a big hug, and an invitation to go ice skating! What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Mary?
Victoria says December 11, 2014 at 12:35 am Maybe they thought since you are such a good ice skater they might feel embarrassed since you are so good. But they didn’t want to hurt your feelings because they didn’t invite. Or totally forgot about you but that probably wouldn’t of happened or maybe only the to of them could go but if it was three then they would invite you I know what it feels like. You should listen to nikki’s advice in the stories she always know how it feels like.
chidori_stayler says December 11, 2014 at 12:00 am nikki……i need a advise if you pls……..what will you do if you and your friends have a fight?
Catlover25 says December 10, 2014 at 7:41 pm That’s the type of thing my BFF Elizabeth would say so… IT HAS TO BE GOOD ADVICE! Either way, it’s good advice. 🙂 😉 ;p :p
diamond tiara says December 10, 2014 at 7:39 pm My ex – friends are spreading lies about me to my CRUSH and he does not believe them and they are telling me if I become friends with them they will stop spreading lies. What do I do ? PLEASE HELP – diamond tiara
saphire says December 10, 2014 at 6:08 pm Mary , That has happened to me once my friends had a sleepover without inviting me and they usually invite me to anything they have so I asked them why and they said they forgot to invite me . But they still apologized to me and I forgave them.
DORKY fan KK says December 10, 2014 at 6:06 pm Hi!, I am new here I know how it feels to be left out. When there was a group of my friends going to lunch in my school i asked them if i could sit with them but they just igorned me.So i sat down with them … But they just walked AWAY.But now since im homeschooled i do not have to deal with it anymore.So follow Nikki’s advice. DORKY fan KK