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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

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Part 1

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January 23, 2015

WHEN YOU CAN’T STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR SIBLING

Ask Nikki

Today’s question comes from Kendra, who writes:

My sister and I always fight over small things, and almost every day. It’s terrible!

My parents keep saying, “You should stop fighting! You two are sisters!” But we can’t seem to stop! What should I do?

My Advice 

Hi Kendra! I can TOTALLY relate to this! I fight with Brianna all the time, and it’s usually over small stuff, too, like her small but HUGELY annoying hand friend, Miss Penelope, and her small but MASSIVELY irritating voice.

Some of the things that work for me might not work as well for you, if your sister isn’t a lot younger, like mine is.

For example, I can say, “If you stop bugging me, I’ll play the Princess Sugar Plum game with you later.” Or, “If you stop annoying me, I’ll make a Princess Sugar Plum puzzle with you later.” Or, “Cool it, or I won’t let you play the Princess Sugar Plum game on my iPhone later.”

(They really need to stop making so much Princess Sugar Plum crap!)

Still, I’ve learned a few things that can help even if your sister isn’t six and easily manipulated!

First, try to find the big stuff under the small stuff. Usually, when you’re fighting a lot over little things, they aren’t REALLY the problem.

The real problem is something else that’s making one or both of you aggravated and annoyed.

Maybe one of you is jealous of the other one, or you’re both going nuts because you have to share a room and you REALLY need your own space.

Or, maybe one of you is holding a grudge about something that happened a while back. (Like that time you told your mom your sister failed her math test, and then she had to study all weekend instead of going to her BFF’s sleepover.)

Once you figure out what the REAL problem is, you can do something about that, like apologize if your sister WAS holding a grudge. Things will likely get a lot better after that!

Another idea is to sit your sister down and say, “I know we’ve been fighting a TON lately, and I really want to change that. Why do YOU think we fight so much? And what do you think I could do to help us get along better?”

This way, you’re giving her a chance to air out whatever is on her mind, and you’re also showing her you’re willing to do your part to make things better.

After you’ve done this, then you can say, “OK, I can work on that! It would really help me if you…”

Then you can tell her what SHE can do to help. Just be sure not to sound like you’re blaming her!

GOOD:

It would be totally cool if you could ask me before using my stuff, just in case I want to use it!

NOT SO GOOD:

Stop using my stuff without asking! It’s not yours and I’m SICK of it…and YOU!
Lastly, start doing nice things for her every now and then, like helping her with her chores or homework.

I know that’s probably the last thing you want to do when she’s getting on your nerves. That’s why you should do nice stuff BEFORE she gets on your nerves.

If you’re nice to her, she’ll be nicer to you.

Think of it like washing your face at night. If you do it regularly, you won’t get big, nasty zits. Your stupid little fights are like those big, nasty zits…and you can TOTALLY prevent them!

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Kendra?

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: siblings, sisternikki

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Comments

  1. Hiccup and arstrid says

    January 30, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    You can say that can you stop fighting and if she say why just say a gooood resin that’s what I learn in my island called berk

  2. elena2000 says

    January 29, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    WELL I DON’T HAVE A SIBLING BUT MY FRIENDS DO AND THEY SAY ASK YOUR MOM TO FIND AWAY TO FIX IT

  3. DORKY BAE says

    January 29, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    hey maybe you guys have read my other mini little comment advice listen I have a brother oh my gosh I cant even tell you it is like horrible you are lucky you even have a sister I do but she is 4 days so what can I do anyway you have to help them out if say I am 12 and my brother is 10 I am 2 years older than him but it still doesn’t mean I get to boss him around nobody likes some one who is bossy try playing with your sister show her you really care and trust her anyway I do these little advice strips so if you have a problem that sort of relates to this topic let me know and I will HOOK U UP hope this helped oh and right if you have a problem make sure you reply to this comment I don’t have a website so just to let you know again hope this helped and have a wounderful day bye bye again DO NOT HAVE A WEBSITE

  4. Robin Swift says

    January 29, 2015 at 6:50 pm

    I feel the same way, AND I have the same problem with my sister.
    Just try to make yourself happy and calm, and try to listen to some music or watch a video.
    If your sister starts the fight, then you should know that she just wants a negative attitude from you to make her happy and satisfied. Remember this, if you have friends, always feel free to talk to them about it for some advice.
    Hope this helps!
    ~Robin Swift (Trust me! I too feel your pain like many others!)

  5. KY girl says

    January 29, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Me and my brother fight all the time!!!!!!!!!!

  6. CieloR says

    January 29, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    So I recommend to listen to Nikki 🙂

  7. CieloR says

    January 29, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    Hi Kendra I TOTALLY feel you’re pain I also have a little sister that is REALLY REALLY annoying and when she keeps on bothering me i get grumpy and I over react because I’m really short tempered and then we start fighting later my mum also hates when we fight so she always tells us to stop fighting we do but me and my sister fight like EVERYDAY! 🙁

  8. Yezabelle says

    January 29, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Hi Nikki! I have two brothers and I’m the oldest. And one of them always snatch my Dad’s Ipad. And the other is always trys to tear my Dork Diaries collection!! What do think I should do?

    • CieloR says

      January 29, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      wow that must be horrible!:(

    • CieloR says

      January 29, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      🙁

    • KGA says

      January 29, 2015 at 5:12 pm

      I would tell my mom and dad

  9. sinniyah says

    January 29, 2015 at 7:31 am

    how do i send a ask nikki email

    • marylin says

      January 29, 2015 at 9:39 pm

      go here : AskNikki@DorkDiaries.com

      or go to the bottom of this page and click the little purple link that says that same thing I put…….. and fill in the info

  10. Buddy says

    January 28, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    It might be irritating to apologize but then leads a nasty fight

  11. Advice-Giver says

    January 28, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    I just say to not talk to her if she says “Hey! What’s wrong!” Just say “Look,if you keep talking, you’ll start an argument” That’s what i do. .-.

  12. Melody says

    January 28, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    I don’t have a sibling, but we always have to babysit this annoying little girl who is so like Brianna!

  13. Dorkgirl518 says

    January 28, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    It’s the same thing for me but I don’t fight everyday with my lil bro:)/:(

  14. Cala says

    January 28, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Omg Kendra I know how you feel me and my twin sister always fight over the smallest things my solution if she starts a fight don’t fight back let her be angry if she get extremely rude or physical like my sister does just tell a parent that way you don’t get in trouble for fighting that’s what I do

  15. SmileWuds says

    January 28, 2015 at 4:33 pm

    I know how you feel!!!!!!!Brothers can be a pain.

  16. Rayray says

    January 28, 2015 at 1:18 pm

    My brother gives me headache he’s even worse than Brianna

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