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April 16, 2015

WHEN YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR LOUD FAMILY GATHERINGS

Ask Nikki Big Family

Today’s question comes from Gunjan, who writes:

I have a very large family. All of my relatives live in different cities, so once a month we have a big family gathering.

I HATE attending these gatherings because everyone gets pretty rowdy, including the kids. It makes me feel nervous and uncomfortable.

I can’t tell my parents that I don’t want to attend the gatherings because I HAVE to. What should I do?

My Advice:

Hi Gunjan! That’s so cool that you have a big family, though I’m sure it’s a little annoying that they get so wild. It sounds like you’re not as outgoing as everyone else, and you like things a little more chill and quiet.

I get why your parents would want you to be part of these gatherings, since they’re big family events, and you’re an important part of your family.

But I’m sure your mom wouldn’t be so happy if one night she found you curled up in a ball in the corner, plugging your ears, muttering, “So loud… too crazy… FREAKING OUT!!!”

Maybe it would help to tell her how you feel and suggest a few solutions.

You could explain that it actually makes you super anxious to be around so much activity and rowdy people.

Then you could ask if she’s cool with any of these ideas:

-Maybe after you chat with the whole group for a while, you can go up to your room and work on extra credit stuff for school, and then you can come back down toward the end of the night after having a little space. (Parents LOVE when you volunteer to do extra credit! To them, this means “eventual college scholarship and fewer nights eating spam and Raman noodles to save up for tuition.”)

-Or, you can see if any of your cousins want to join you for a quiet activity in your room (or their room, if you’re at their house), like watching a movie or playing a game.

-Or, if it’s nice outside, maybe you can ask if after socializing a little, you can sit in the backyard with your cousins and play Go Fish or another card game (if you have a table and light back there).

-Or, if your parents aren’t cool with you leaving the main area, or no one wants to do something quieter with you, maybe you can bust out your iPod for a little while and listen to music when you start getting annoyed or stressed out.

It’s possible that your mom might say something like, “It’s once a month! Suck it up, loosen up, and have a little fun!”

And the last part isn’t bad advice. It IS only once a month, and maybe if you relax a bit, these parties will seem less obnoxious and more entertaining.

(My family is SUPER entertaining when they’re obnoxious…and I have a whole blog that proves it!)

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Gunjan?

Category: Ask Nikki nikki

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Comments

  1. Jimena says

    May 6, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    great advice Nikki!!! 😉 I have to deal with the same old thing but the only difference is that my family don’t live far far away from eachother

  2. Anne Frank says

    May 2, 2015 at 12:28 pm

    I agree with Nikki. Read my diary too! Look up Anne frank the diary of a Young Girl

  3. Yashashree (Ash) says

    May 1, 2015 at 11:38 am

    Even I to get irritated. I don’t hate family gathering but I have another big problem. My fathers native place is a village, and if people there don’t know my name they start calling me with stupid names 🙁
    BTW we both are Indians and our problems are same.. Hi five !

  4. NerdyGirl says

    May 1, 2015 at 4:49 am

    If you can try to curl up in a corner or find a room nobody else knows about. If you can`t try to think of happy thoughts because the happier you are the faster time flys which means you`d be home in seconds. Also bring something which could entertain all of the other kids instead of them running around. I promise that one of these will work.

  5. Jenny Song says

    April 29, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Maybe it’s best to tell your mom your feelings. Or you can keep a diary so you can leave your feelings there

  6. Im such a dork says

    April 29, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Maybe you can have an escuse to go somewhere else like your friends house

  7. Mariana says

    April 29, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    I think she should stay in her room, come out to eat and go to sleep.

  8. Say My Name says

    April 29, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    I have a huge family too…UGH…we have family reunions twice every year and sometimes three times…everyone gets pretty rowdy though…in my house we have my Mom,my Dad,my brother(16 years old),my sister(21 years old),my other sister(in her 30s),and me(10 years old)…my sisters don’t live with us but they visit a lot…but i feel bad that you have family gatherings once a month…sry…hope you either have enough courage to tell your parents…or you just act like your having fun and you might ACTUALLY have fun…once again sry…good luck!

  9. Annie says

    April 26, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    I have a not-so-very-large family, but I can see how you feel. Try and gather your parents for a ‘private’ convesation about your situation. They might help you feel better! Good luck! 😉 🙂

  10. dork of the month says

    April 26, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    Bring something fun to do by yourself like a puzzle or a book to read.

  11. young lover says

    April 26, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    hey niki i need ur help ! im going on a field trip and it is a bowling field trip ! but i dont know how to bowl ! what if my class laughs at me i need ur help what can i do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plz help me plz respond back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. young lover says

    April 26, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    i totally get u i had a family gathering and it was loud i hae loud gatherings

  13. Gabrielle says

    April 26, 2015 at 4:07 am

    I have the same problem too and it is quite annoying for us children because all we do is sit there watch adults talking to each other

  14. dorky girl says

    April 25, 2015 at 9:31 pm

    that happens to me all the time.

  15. Marynn says

    April 25, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    That is so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Tmntfan says

    April 25, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    If you can’t bring electronics try to make a close cousin friend someone who you can just chill with . I personally love family reunions but then again I’m a loud person.

  17. Puppy6777 says

    April 22, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Yep i have a big family too

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