August 22, 2015 I’M BACK!! DID YOU MISS ME?! BRIANNA AND ME AT THE WATER PARK Hi everyone! I’m BACK! Did you miss me? I really missed you, too! The good news is that I’ve spent most of the summer working on Dork Diaries Book 10, TALES FROM A NOT-SO-PERFECT PET SITTER! And, guess what!! It’s all DONE! Finally! So, starting this week, I’ll be posting pretty regularly on my Dork Diaries website again. Sadly, summer vacation will soon be coming to an end. So, us kids need to try and squeeze every last drop of fun out of it while we still can. I decided today that I was going to end my vacation with a big BANG! Or, should I say, SPLASH! Brianna and I have been begging Mom and Dad for weeks to take us to Splash Island Water Park. And, luckily, today was just hot enough (99 degrees!) for them to finally say yes! I was dying to try out that new, infamous water slide, called the Big Kahuna. It’s been labeled the longest and fastest water slide in the WORLD! We entered the water park early while the Big Kahuna line was still short. I was just about to make a mad dash for it when Mom told me to take Brianna along. It was no surprise, she had to stop at the bathroom before we got there and took FOREVER. By the time she was done, the water slide line had gotten a lot longer. I waited impatiently in line for twenty minutes and tried to look on the bright side. At least it wasn’t an hour wait. Plus, it was almost our turn! SQUEEEEEEE!! Then, Brianna got fidgety and told me she had to use the bathroom. AGAIN! We were so, so close to the most epic water slide ever! But her baby bladder put us right back at the end of the line, forcing us to wait—you guessed it—a solid HOUR! Hey! Why didn’t she just pee in the water like a normal six-year-old?! Miraculously, I managed to wait the entire 60 minutes without dying of heat stroke or choking Brianna. That calming meditation stuff Zoey taught me really came in handy! When we FINALLY got to the front of the line, the slide assistant lady put Brianna and me on two round tubes and asked if we had any heart problems she should know about. I was like, um…WHAT?! Then, I smiled nervously and said, “No.” Soon, I heard the horrific, eardrum-shattering screams of the kids who went down the slide’s pitch-black tunnel before us, and I swear I almost had a heart attack right there on the spot! But, before I could scream, “Sorry lady! I changed my mind! Get me off of this thing!,” the lady pushed our raft into the dark abyss! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I am dead serious when I tell you that water slide of doom was terrifyingly…AWESOME!! We flew through the tunnels, twists and turns at light speed, screaming with our cheeks flapping in the wind like a dog’s jowls on a high-speed car ride! It was the ultimate adrenaline rush! Was it worth the hour and twenty minute wait? YES! Did I get sunburned standing outside for so long? YES! But, hey! I’ll wear my tacky tan lines with pride. I just survived the fastest water slide in the world! So, tell me about the funnest thing you’ve done so far this summer? What exciting activity would you like to fit in before the summer is over? POST YOUR COMMENTS BELOW!