MY NEVER-ENDING HOMEWORK DRAMA!!

ME, FREAKING OUT BECAUSE BRIANNA HAS A JAR STUCK ON HER HEAD!

3:32 PM: I am starting a huge social studies report and I’m going to be the MOST productive person you ever saw!!! It is true that it was assigned six weeks ago and it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. But I’ve done all my other homework so it’s ALL I have to do this afternoon! It should be NO problem and I WILL ACE IT!!!

My report is on Bessie Coleman. Here’s what I know so far: she was an aviator. Guess I need to do some more research if I’m going to fill up my poster board with interesting facts and prepare an oral report!!

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4:03 PM: Okay, I haven’t gotten very far. I learned that Bessie Coleman was born in 1892, and she was the first African-American to get an international pilot’s license. Which is REALLY cool! But then my phone rang and I totally ignored it because I am being PRODUCTIVE and CONSCIENTIOUS (I’m practically doing English homework just by using those words). But then I got a text alert from Chloe with an SOS 911!!!

So I called Chloe back.  Her big emergency was that when our math teacher gave us our homework assignment earlier today, she was in the girls’ bathroom.  So  I had to look it up for her.  And then I talked for a few minutes about how cute Brandon looked today, which got Chloe talking about how cute Max Crumbly (Brandon’s new friend) is until I finally told her I absolutely HAD to GO.

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4:41 PM: Bessie Coleman had to walk four miles to school every day.  I wonder if she ever had to carry a big poster board project all that way? Or if she ever thought a school kid would be doing a report on her more than a hundred years in the future?
ANYWAY, I am TOTALLY getting back to work now after a giant distraction that wasn’t my fault AT ALL. After Chloe’s phone call, I swore there would be no more distractions. But right after that, Brianna stumbled into the living room with HER HEAD STUCK IN A PEANUT BUTTER JAR!!  I am so NOT kidding!!!!

Remember when Brianna used Dad’s gallon container of natural no-salt no-sugar peanut butter on Holly and her 7 puppies in Miss Bri-Bri’s Paw Spa??? Well that CRAZY KID needed a snack and didn’t want to bother me (FAIL!!!) so she pulled out the almost-empty jar and decided to lick it clean! From the inside!!!! And then OF COURSE she got her crazy head stuck and came stumbling in from the kitchen, like some kind of crazy peanut butter ZOMBIE moaning for me to help her.

Once I got over my HEART ATTACK, I had to jiggle that jar this way and that until I finally got it off her head. I wanted to yell at her for being SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID and wasting my PRECIOUS TIME!  But since she was almost crying, I told her that her skin was going to be beautifully glow-y after her peanut butter facial, and the final step to ultimate beauty was a nice long (long enough for me to finish my report!!!) bubble bath followed by at least one hour of beauty rest (nap for a cranky little kid).  So, I ran the bath for her and now I’m getting back to work.

Bessie Coleman, here I come!!!

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5:00 PM: You are NOT going to believe this, but a bird just crashed into our window. Of course I had to stop and go outside and make sure it was still alive. It WAS!! He was hopping around in circles, but he was okay, so I came STRAIGHT back inside and got down to business. Clearly that bird needed a few more flying lessons before he left the nest. And he didn’t even have Bessie Coleman’s excuse!! No one would give her flying lessons because she was A) a woman and B) African-American, so she had to go all the way to France!!!

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5:51 PM: Okay, I am going to crawl into a hole and DIE OF EMBARRASMENT!! I was almost done with my research (YAY!!!) when my phone rang. I didn’t even look at the caller ID. I thought it was Chloe again!! So here’s what I said when I picked up: “I don’t have time to talk about cute boys right now!!!”

IT WASN’T CHLOE!!!!

There was a pause, and then BRANDON said, “Okay. Umm…I was just going to ask if you could come over to Fuzzy Friends after school tomorrow to help with a mailing.”

So then I started babbling about Bessie Coleman to cover up my MORTIFYING AGONY and my mom walked in with bags of takeout food and gave me a frowny face for being on the phone during homework time, even though I was TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL.  So, I got off the phone and now I have to go have dinner.

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9:34 PM:  Had dinner. Locked myself in my room. Made poster board and prepared oral report. Falling into bed now.

NOTE TO SELF: Next time DO NOT leave the project until the last minute!!

Have you ever gotten distracted or interrupted when you’ve tried to do your homework?  By what? How do you avoid this problem?  Please tell me in the comments below.