Hey Nikki,
I feel like I’m the only girl at my school who’s BFF is a boy. I want to have a girl BFF, because sometimes my guy BFF just wants to hang out with his guy friends. The only thing is, the girls at my school are hard to get along with, and they cause A LOT of drama !!
I don’t want drama, but I really want a girl BFF! What should I do?
BFF Blues
Hi There!
First of all, I think it’s AWESOME that you have a guy best friend!
But it also sounds like you’d actually LIKE to have more female friends. So, let’s see what we can do about that.
I get what you’re saying about girls. I probably seem exactly like the kind of girl who has a LOT of drama in her life. However, it seems that you’re acting like ALL girls are one way.
And that’s just not true. (It could also make it difficult to make friends, since girls might feel like you’re judging them.)
If you want female friends, you have to realize there are girls out there that you CAN get along with and even enjoy being friends with. You might ALSO need to realize that every friendship is different. That doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be friends!
It does mean you might need to be more patient with these new friends. And they might need to be patient with you. Any time you make new friends, there’s a learning curve as you try to figure each other out. That’s even true for girls who’re prone to drama or whatever.
In fact, it’s true with new teachers, new coaches, new crushes, new anything.
So, I think the first thing is to be open-minded enough to make friends with girls who aren’t just like you. And then, once you’re friends with them, figure out how to communicate. You don’t always have to do things their way, but you can’t expect them to always do things your way, either.
So, first thing: open-mindedness.
Second: patience and a bit of compromise.
And third: be honest. If you’re having trouble with a new friend, don’t write her off at the first hint of drama. Tell her you’re mostly used to guy friends.
You might be surprised! I think, if you open your mind and your heart, you’ll probably find other girls who’d love a little less drama in their friendships.