Hi Nikki,Frustrated Friend
My best friend is driving me CRAZY!! She’s really nice, but all she does is talk about her new crush. When I try to talk about something else, she just ignores me and goes on and on about him. What should I do?
Hi Frustrated Friend,
Okay, I have a confession to make. When I read this, I immediately panicked that maybe Chloe or Zoey had written it…ABOUT ME!!! I think sometimes, I’M that annoying girl who won’t stop blabbing about her super-cute, dreamy crush. And if I AM, I really hope my BFFs will tell me. Because I don’t want to be that girl!
I mean, don’t get me wrong, blabbing about crushes is soooo much fun—but not if you’re annoying the people around you!
I’m guessing your friend is just SO excited about her crush that she has no idea she’s annoying you. And even though you’ve tried to change the subject…she’s just kind of oblivious? It happens. Try to cut her some slack. 😀
But at the same time, you deserve to have time with your friend that is not all about her crush! I would try a couple things.
First of all, I’d tell her in a very straightforward way, “I need to talk to you about something important.” When you have her attention, tell her how excited you are about her new crush, but that you feel like it’s all you ever talk about.
If she’s understanding and apologetic (which hopefully she will be!), you can agree to spend a set amount of time—maybe ten or fifteen minutes—talking ALLLL about her crush whenever you first start hanging out, talking on the phone or texting. And after that, you have to talk about other things. Maybe there can even be some sort of (fun-spirited) punishment for when she breaks the rules. (Because she will! She honestly can’t help herself sometimes.) If you let her help decide the punishment, she’s more likely to go along with it in good spirits.
If she blows you off when you tell her about this problem… Well first of all, I really doubt she will. You said she’s really nice. As long as YOU’RE nice about how you bring it up, she’s most likely going to be upset that she’s made you feel ignored. But if she ISN’T understanding about it, that’s a problem. You deserve better than that in a BFF. If she can’t understand that, you might suggest taking a step back from your friendship, at least while she’s into this guy. But I really don’t think it’ll come to that!!
And, if you have a hard time getting through to her in a conversation, you might try writing a letter or email. Not texting, since she has the chance to interrupt you, but an actual letter or email. Tell her everything you need to say. Explain how you feel when she seems to ignore you. Make clear that you’re excited for her, and it’s not that you don’t like her crush, or anything like that. It’s just that you also want to have time with her that’s NOT about him. Because your friendship is important to you and you miss how it used to be.
Here’s something else to remember: When you get a crush, try not to do the same thing to your friends. Remember how it feels. You won’t always be able to help yourself. But try not to go overboard!
How does everyone else handle it when a friend’s obsessed with their crush? And if you have a crush, how do you keep from blabbing about them ALL THE TIME?