January 21, 2017 MY BFF BLABBED MY BIG SECRET TO THE WHOLE CLASS!!! Hey Brandon, OMG!! My ex-BFF just told my whole class who my crush is! I know who HER crush is and I really want to get back at her…but I don’t want to make her feel the same embarrassment I do. What should I do??? I need advice pronto!! Cat Out Of The Bag Hey Cat Out Of The Bag, Okay, it’s REALLY crummy she did that. I’m really sorry. I think your instincts are good. You don’t want to make her feel the same embarrassment. So, as tempting as it might be to lash out and give her a taste of her own medicine…what good would that really do? Then you’d both feel awful. And I can pretty much guarantee that blabbing her secrets would NOT make you feel any better. It might even escalate things further. I don’t think she was trying to hurt you in the first place. But if you revenge-blab, she might do something else to embarrass or hurt you. And then you guys could get stuck in an awful cycle. If you keep that information to yourself, you can feel like a good person. It’s the whole “treat others how you’d like to be treated” thing. And no, she didn’t do that to you. But you don’t want to put more negative stuff out into the world. Eventually, it’ll come back to haunt you. So, here’s a question: Is this the reason she’s your ex-BFF? Your friendship broke up when she blabbed about your crush? I mean, I could understand if it did. But, I also wonder if you’ve tried to talk to her about it. If you’ve been friends for a while, this may not be worth losing a friendship over. I know you’re really upset now. But just…give it some time. Maybe give her a chance to explain? Also, are you SURE she blabbed to the WHOLE class? Maybe she told one person. Who told another person…who told another person, etc, etc. And that’s crummy by itself. But, sometimes people blurt things out and then totally regret it. I know I do. Haven’t you ever done that? Again, try to ‘treat others how you’d like to be treated.’ Unless you want to lose friends when YOU make one mistake, you might reconsider dropping her entirely. But, maybe you just can’t get past it. Or maybe the friendship ended for other reasons. The other piece of your problem is that you were embarrassed when the whole grade found out about your crush, right? Look, in the time it took me to get this letter, respond to it and get it up on the website…it might have blown over. But, let’s still talk about it, to help any readers who might be dealing with this right now. So, people find out who your crush is. What then? I think this is a case where you’re the one who can give the situation power or not. If everyone finds out who your crush is and you freak out and drop your BFF and hide in the bathroom and just generally make it a huge thing…it WILL turn into a huge thing. If you shrug and say, “Whatever,” or laugh and say, “What? He’s cute!” or just generally ignore the gossip, it’ll become a really boring piece of gossip. People will move on. I promise. I hope that helps! How do the rest of you handle it when someone finds out who you’re crushing on? How do you handle it when you’re betrayed by a friend?
Anonymous says February 11, 2017 at 7:38 am same situation for me but we made up and we are bff’s and she is sorry for doing that to me!!
Snappzies says February 10, 2017 at 8:54 pm That happend to me but dont worrie about it things have gotten better and i forgave my friend and got over the whole thing. Hope you do soon
Crushing crush says February 10, 2017 at 2:38 pm Omg same! My two bffs were talking with My crush and he wanted to know why I was hanging out with him all of a sudden. So he said tell me or I’ll say you ( my bff) had a crush so they told him. And they didn’t tell me I overheard their phone call. Like really? It’s so mean
Crush mania says February 10, 2017 at 12:55 am Good one cat out of the bag my friends told my crush I liked him and now they r telling him everything I don’t want him to know
Dork Diary Girl says February 9, 2017 at 11:06 pm OMG!!! I am SO sorry that something like that happened to you! I would feel SO embarrassed if everyone knew MY crush!!! (Thankfully I don’t currently have one). But I think that maybe you should try talking to your friend and get her side of the story. Tell her how it made you feel and that if she can’t keep secrets, then you just can’t trust her with any of your secrets anymore. Hopefully you guys can work things out! Good Luck!
apple tic tac says February 9, 2017 at 12:33 pm so true the same thing happened to me last year it was super scary and I cried every night but now my crush hates me and I’m still friends with my BFF even though she’s still spreading rumors about it and other things…anyway what i do is get on with life still be friends with your friend but just tell someone else or keep a journal just like Nicki Maxwell and in later years you will look back at it and laugh
rainbow glitter unicorn says February 8, 2017 at 11:22 pm My bff blabbed my crush to MY CRUSH…MY CRUSH but I’m glad she did it would have tooken me years to admit. It but I’m still mad but we are still BFFs!
CJSparkle says February 8, 2017 at 8:44 pm It is the same situation with me! I know her deepest secret but if i tell, ill be mean and she will lie about it (she is a good lyer)
SprinklesONFire says February 8, 2017 at 12:28 am I never actually had a crush, but my best friend kept making fun of me with a boy whom I hung out with. I ended up making serious faces at her if she made any jokes, and she never told anyone…well she sometimes hinted, which made me a little cross. But if she did tell everyone in my class, I would talk to her.
Same-same says February 7, 2017 at 9:00 am THANK YOU FOR ASKING THAT CAT OUT OF THE BAG!!! – My ex- BFF blabbed my crush to my crush!!!!
yummy cookie monkey says February 9, 2017 at 12:35 pm same here….same thing happen to me now my crush hates me :/
stressed from school says February 7, 2017 at 2:54 am I have gone through this before, and its SUPER embarrassing, because my bff is like that, but I don’t care about it .But I know how you feel,Cat out of the bag. Things will always get better!
DorkDiariesFan16 says February 6, 2017 at 5:05 pm Hi, Cat Out Of The Bag! Well, what I want to say is that to NOT tell your ex-BFF’s crush to the whole class. You could be friends again, and I think she swore you to secrecy. If I were you in this situation, just calmly tell her to cut that out. But be aware not to tell your teacher because they could be big gossip fans! Hope this helps!
DorkDiaries16 says February 6, 2017 at 4:59 pm Aw, I feel SO bad for you, Cat Out Of The Bag!!! Tell everyone that your ex-BFF is lying but DON’T tell your ex-BFF’s crush, whatever you do. Hope this helps!
PinkCupcakes says February 6, 2017 at 12:48 pm Poor you ): my best friend’s like that She won’t actually tell them, she’ll just embarrass me or say stuff like ‘ooh la la’ so I can’t really trust her
Heaves10 says February 5, 2017 at 2:36 pm Hi Brandon my friend is telling all my secrets to our class I don’t know what to do I don’t want to tell her secrets please give me advice asap
BabyPolarBears says February 6, 2017 at 2:50 pm If she’s like that you probably should speak to her. Maybe if she apolagizes or says sorry, you know you can be friends with her
Cute Christina says February 5, 2017 at 6:03 am OMG Brandon your kind of like a lifesaver your started to make great ideas and I think I am in love with you (just for having great advice and your even better than Nikki! .So I hope that we will be good BFF’s
Anonymous says February 7, 2017 at 9:03 am I know, right? Now she’s forced to sit right in front of me when my crush is next to me! I’m worried that she’ll embarrass me in front of my crush!!!!!!!!!!