Hey Nikki,
I have a friend who’s nice to me sometimes, but then she acts really mean. For example, when I try to hang out with her and her other friends at her locker, she just glares at me! It’s almost like she doesn’t want her friends to know she’s hanging out with someone like me. When I ask her why, she just pretends it never happened! How do I get her to stop being so two-faced??
Freaked Out By Fickle Friend
Hi Freaked Out By Fickle Friend,
Okay, I have a question. A LOT of questions, actually. Here’s the first one: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THIS TWO-FACED MEANIE?????
Phew! Okay, sorry. I had to get that off my chest.
Look, this girl sounds awful. It is NOT cool to treat someone one way, and then treat them a whole other way because someone’s watching. Not cool AT ALL. I don’t care how popular she might be, how unpopular you might be, or whatever. There’s a little thing called BASIC KINDNESS and the way she’s treating you is NOT kind. Not at all.
Didn’t you just say, “She doesn’t want her friends to know she’s hanging out with someone like you???”
Like…you’re not pretty enough to be her friend? Or you don’t wear the right clothes? Or have the wrong hair, skin color, braces, glasses or WHATEVER??? Anyone THAT shallow and judgmental is SO not deserving of your attention. FOR REAL.
Look, I get the appeal of a CCP. It feels like if you’re friends with her, you’ll have an in with ALL of them and then maybe you’ll never get picked on and your middle school and high school life will be MADE.
But FIRST, you’re NOT friends with her if she’s ashamed to be seen with you. And SECOND, even CCPs have their problems. Suddenly being “cool enough” will NOT mean you’ll be smooth sailing until graduation.
So, knowing that, I’d say you drop this girl IMMEDIATELY. You don’t need someone who acts two-faced, snobby, and only nice in certain circumstances. I’m not suggesting you confront her. I’m just saying sit somewhere else. Don’t even try to sit with her and her friends. Talk to someone who’s friendly, not fickle. Better yet, reach out to someone else on the bus who looks a little lost, like they need a friend. You’ll feel better, they’ll feel better, and old two-faced can continue feeling miserable.
She must be miserable, after all, or she wouldn’t treat people like that. Maybe she’ll notice you stopped sitting with her. Maybe it’ll make her think about why. Or, maybe she won’t care at all. But, either way? You’ll feel better!