February 25, 2017 I’M ON A JEALOUSY ROLLERCOASTER!!! Hey Brandon, I have a serious problem with my crush. Sometimes he’s super jealous. Like, out of control jealous! You know how girls are crazy jealous over the tiniest things? Well, that’s my crush. He gets the most jealous when I hang out with other guys. I think he has trust issues. But the truth is, when he hangs out with other girls …I get a little jelly as well. What should I do to get off this jelly rollercoaster? Yours truly, Really Jealous And Confused Hey Really Jealous And Confused, Okay, I think jealousy is an important topic to discuss here. But first? I’ve gotta say, I have a teensy problem with this part of your letter: You know how girls are crazy jealous over the tiniest things? This is making a big blanket statement about all girls. Obviously jealousy isn’t only a girl thing, or you wouldn’t be complaining about your guy friend being jealous. I’ve definitely felt jealous before. Some guys might not talk about it very much, but we ALL feel it sometimes. I promise. From where I’m sitting, girls are pretty fierce. They have to put up with a LOT and they still deal with school and friends and family stuff better than most guys I know (myself included). But okay. You wrote in to ask about jealousy. Your crush gets jealous when you hang out with other guys. AND, you get jealous when he hangs out with other girls. You think he has trust issues…and maybe you do, too? So, what should you do about it? Sometimes jealous people decide they don’t want to hang out with anyone but their crush. After all, if you’re not hanging around with those guys anymore, your crush won’t get jealous. Right? But isolating yourselves is only going to weaken the relationship. You should want a friendship that’s strong enough that you don’t get jealous to begin with! Because, here’s the thing: people aren’t property. He might be your crush, but he doesn’t BELONG to you. And you don’t BELONG to him. Sometimes in movies or TV shows, jealousy is shown as something almost…romantic. A character will say in a happy, teasing way, “Aw…are you jealous?” It’s like, wow, you must really like me if you care about me enough to be jealous. But forget that! Jealousy is NOT romantic. Not even a little bit. Jealousy means you want to control the other person. And nothing good can come from jealousy. I mean…it can ONLY cause fights and misunderstandings and frustration. So what to do about it? I think jealousy comes from insecurity. You’re worried your friendship isn’t strong enough to survive if someone more interesting comes along. Sound about right? So I think the answer is to build yourself up. Don’t put all of your time and energy into your crush. Take time to develop your interests and hobbies. Build your confidence, and the other friendships in your life. See yourself as more than just a person in a friendship with your crush. If your whole identity doesn’t depend on being so-and-so’s crush, you’ll be less insecure. And, encourage your crush to do the same. Support his interests that might take time away from you. Be glad when he hangs out with his friends—guys or girls—because that means your friendship is strong enough to handle it. And when he’s acting jealous, remind him why you’re his friend—and then keep on hanging out with whomever you want to! If he can’t handle that, it might be time to move on. I hope that helps! How do the rest of you deal with the jelly rollercoaster?
NashiHeartDragoneel says March 11, 2017 at 6:57 am He LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! CUTEEEEEEEEE!!! (Wait. Do I sound like Happy?)
Anonymous says March 11, 2017 at 4:54 am I’m jealous when my crush merely TALKS to other girls and I HATE IT. And I really don’t like myself for that…but hey, we’re all learning!
yourfriendovertheinternt says March 10, 2017 at 1:38 pm I think that if he gets jelly when u hang out with boys,he has a crush on u!! 🙂
Heart❤️ says March 9, 2017 at 1:59 pm On the bright side, why would your crush get jealous if he doesn’t have sincere feelings for you? True, it’s not all romantic, but still! Heart❤️
queen dork says March 8, 2017 at 9:14 pm i have a diary like your girl friend BTW brandon and nikki sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g
Crush Crushing On DORK says March 7, 2017 at 11:35 pm Dear Brandon, Today ( March 7th ), I have heard that my crush is crushing back at me! On Valentines Day, my BFF gave the class fortune teller things and i got a fortune that my crush was crushing back and it is totally true! I am nervous and EXCITED at the same exact time! I do not know what to do because we have the same jobs in class which is the messengers (people that sends things to other people like messages). I hope you can reply to my comment. 😀 Thank You!
Hearts_16 says March 7, 2017 at 7:59 pm I have a crush on someone in my class but I haven’t told anyone but my friends always joke around with me saying I have a crush on him but I pretend that I don’t. I don’t know if he likes me but I think he does because when I’m talking or laughing he always looks at me and I’ve seen him smile at me before.
Quota-girl says March 6, 2017 at 5:32 am Jealousy is like salt. A little helps to spice the flavor. Too much ruins the dish.
KITTY POWER says March 5, 2017 at 5:44 pm I really love your books. I’ll do anything to get my hands on a book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : .)
Complicated lover says March 3, 2017 at 1:06 pm Dear Brandon, Please help! I have got a huge crush and I really really love him but there is one problem. He is an animated character. Nobody knows about it and when they ask me if I have got a crush I tell them happily who it is and they just take it as a joke. My heart beats faster, I start blushing and always feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him on his show but I feel sad since we can’t be in a relationship. Please help me
Diary girl says March 8, 2017 at 10:15 am Are you sure you feel that? Because I have similar issues. I have a crush on this guy who’s always acting like gang but in front of me, he always act so wierd. He texted me an iloveyou and when I told my parents they said that I could do better than him. I really like him, and so does he but he can’t be in relationship. So I hope Nikki, select Complicated lover’s Q/A.
me2 says March 8, 2017 at 6:50 pm It’s ok! maybe in real life you’ll meet a boy like him! I have a crush from a movie 2! i just think to myself that it will never happen but i might meet someone like him later!
Idon'tknow?! says March 3, 2017 at 11:12 am Hi everyone! I NNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD 2 tell u a story; One day, when I was getting changed after X-Country, this boy told me that my crush said he liked me. But, one day, APPARENTLY he said he liked someone else!! 🙁 🙁 I feel your jelly!!! P.S. I’m the 100th person 2 comment!! YAY!! 🙂
Idon'tknow?! says March 6, 2017 at 11:26 am Has anyone else been through this? If they have tell me all ’bout it. And which face they felt like the most out of the following: >_< 😮 🙁 :'( If there's one that u felt like that i haven't put up, please show me in your comment. Thanks!!!!
SRSLY says March 4, 2017 at 1:24 am Wow my little sis is like 6,and can’t even read fluently. And she can’t type.
Blue Lightning says March 2, 2017 at 4:43 pm My crush told me a month ago who he likes, but I found out he likes ME more. I wasn’t in love with him at the time, although I’ll admit I was kinda jealous when I saw one of my friends ( who was mad at me at the time) talking to him when I didn’t like him as a bf
From jelly and mad! says March 2, 2017 at 11:40 am Hi Brandon help! My friend likes my crush!whenever I go to school she hangs around him!i get supper jelly and mad and she nows I like him!
Advice Queen says March 3, 2017 at 12:00 am Dear Jelly and Mad, OMG! That had happened to me too! So you now what I did? After my SUPER-jealous fit had passed, then I just, well, kind of moved on from him and ignored him. I avoided contact with him completely. Then I just moved on and got another crush. (BTW, it’s NOT necessary in life to have a crush. So don’t worry about it, girl!) Sincerely, I’m not Brandon but I give advice anyway
Cool girl says March 1, 2017 at 7:43 pm Cool advice Brandon, sometime h smoggy be talking to another girl because he wants to make you feel jealous.