I wanted to ask you something. I have a crush on a movie star. It’s not just that I think he’s cute. (Though he’s SUPER cute.) I think we have so much in common and I really like his personality. I know this might sound crazy, but I honestly think we’d be friends if I had the chance…and maybe more than friends. 🙂 I wrote him a letter and followed him on every possible web page he’s on. But he’s never replied to my messages or comments. What should I do?!
Hey Star Crushed,
Thanks for your letter. I bet a lot of readers can relate. I know I’ve definitely had crushes on certain actors and singers. And when they’re really good performers, they draw you in and make you feel like you have a connection. That ability is why they’re so successful.
You might be totally right—you might have TONS in common with this actor. He might really, really like you if he gave you a chance. And he might be absolutely as awesome as he seems on screen or on social media.
Or…he might not be so awesome. (Don’t shoot the messenger, namely me!) What you see and hear about celebrities is not usually anything near real. Even when he’s doing an interview and answering as himself and not a character…he’s still sort of playing a character. He’s been dressed and coached and taught how to promote his movie however his manager wants him to. Plus there are a few other obstacles…do you even live in the same city? Is he an age-appropriate crush?
I mean, these things don’t matter as long as you’re just crushing from afar. Crush away—put posters up on your wall and be a super fan. But, it sounds like you’re really hoping something will actually happen between you and your celebrity crush…and I don’t want you to get your hopes up too high.
Also, please don’t get too bummed out over how he hasn’t responded to your messages and follows. It would be so cool if he did, and maybe he still will. But, actors have really busy schedules with all their filming and interviews. And I am NOWHERE near as famous as a Hollywood actor and even I can’t keep up with MY inbox.
I’m sure there are people who get offended or even hurt feelings when I don’t answer every email. But I just can’t. If I answered every single question that comes in to the Ask Brandon inbox, I wouldn’t have time for school, volunteering at Fuzzy Friends, working on the school newspaper, or ANYTHING. I would have to get up in the morning, start answering Ask Brandon questions, and keep going until bedtime. Every day!
But even though I can’t answer every single question, I read them all and I wish I could answer them. And I’m so grateful for the community we have here at the Dork Diaries website. I’m so glad there are so many readers who open up about what they’re going through and support each other.
I’m sure your crush feels the same way about his fans. Even if he can’t answer every message, or get to know every fan the way he might like to, I bet he’s SO glad to know that the work he’s doing as an actor is connecting with viewers. I’m sure each message means a whole lot to him.
Unfortunately, I just don’t think there’s a magic trick that will make you BFFs (or more). There’s not even a magic trick to getting him to respond to your fan mail or follows. I think the best thing you can do is focus on enjoying him as a fan. Don’t let your enjoyment of his movies, music or TV shows be ruined by frustration that you can’t have more.
Readers, how do you handle it when you’ve got a celebrity obsession? How do you express your feelings? How do you move on?