• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

    Nav Widget Area

    Privacy Policy

Dork Diaries

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

News, Advice, Diary & Fun Stuff!
Hang Out with Nikki!!
Dork Diaries 15
NEWS
FUN STUFF

Quirky Question

NEWS
Spring Dork Maker
  • Author Bio
  • Books
  • Hang Out
    • Nikki’s Diary
    • Nikki’s Advice
    • Chloe & Zoey
    • Brandon
    • Brandon’s Advice
  • Dorky Stuff
    • Dork Freebies
    • Fan Art
    • Games
    • Videos
    • Music
    • Meet the characters
    • I Heart Writing
    • Dorks Around the World
    • Girls Saving the World
  • For Teachers

May 15, 2017

MY DAD IS ANCIENT!!

Nikki's Diary May 15th - dork diariesOMG. I am NEVER trying to teach my dad something EVER AGAIN!!!

I was trying to study for my history test when he came into my room.

“I need to be on the social media,” he announced.

The social media??

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You know, the Instachat, the Snapgram, the Facefriends and Tweetering! I want it all!”

This was SO weird. My mom’s on Facebook, keeping up with her high school friends and embarrassing me by posting UNAUTHORIZED photos. But my dad? He still uses the landline!!!

“It’s for my business,” he said, sitting down on my bed UNINVITED!!! “I need to be on the interwebs to get more business! Someone told me there’s a Yip review about me that’s all LIES!”

“Yip?”

“I don’t know. Some thing where people can leave reviews of local businesses? But no one checks if the reviews are TRUE?!!”

I thought for a minute. “You mean Yelp?”

“That’s what I said!”

He opened up his laptop and read aloud. “Mr. Maxwell was an hour late—totally untrue—and when he finally arrived, he smelled so gross—which, okay, that was “take your daughter to work day” with Brianna and she dropped her tuna fish sandwich on me so I guess they have a point—and then it turned out he couldn’t even help me with my pest problem!”

He slammed his laptop shut. “Nikki, this person wanted me to exterminate the ghost in their attic! That is NOT a service I offer. They should’ve called the Ghost Busters!”

I sighed. “People can be crazy on the internet. You can respond with a comment.”

“What do I say? There’s NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS??”

I set my history book aside and opened his computer back up. He read over my shoulder as I logged in and typed. “We are very sorry we weren’t able to meet your needs. Please accept this coupon for 20% off your next exterminating services.”

He grabbed his laptop back and jumped up. “Why would I offer them a discount for a bad review?!”

“Dad, calm down. You’re not doing it for them. They don’t want you to EVER come back to their house. But other people will see your great customer service. Also, you really DID reek that day. So you kind of owe them. I bet it took forever for them to air their house out.”

He grumbled a little, but sat back down. “Okay. Fine. So set me up with the other stuff. The Instachat or Facefriends or whatever. I need to be connected. I need my finger on the pulse of the youths!”

“Dad, youths don’t call exterminators.”

“No, but just yesterday you were helping your mother find a new massage therapist, all on the interwebs!”

That was true.

“One account,” I told him. “I’ve got to study.”

THREE HOURS LATER – I am NOT even kidding!!! – we had set up a barebones Facebook account for his business. We argued over every little thing! And it’s HIS business, but why did he ask ME for help if he didn’t want my expertise?! And at the end of those three hours, he was still calling it “the interwebs!!”

I do NOT know how old people survive in the world.

Anyway, back to my history test, studying the days when there was NO internet! Can you imagine??

Do you have a crazy or funny story about your parents or grandparents not understanding the internet or social media?

Filed Under: My Diary

Primary Sidebar

Hang Out With Nikki!
new_releases What's New
menu_book Diary
question_answer Advice
quiz Quirky Questions
Read advice for dealing with Valentine DRAMA!

Advice Topics

  • friends
    • Befriend
    • popularity
    • BFF
    • clingy
    • mean
    • Fights
    • socialMedia/texting
  • crush
  • self-esteem
    • anxiety
    • beauty
    • Sadness
    • jealousy
    • lying
    • boredom
  • school
    • grades
    • homework
    • teacher
    • writing
    • clubs
  • sports
  • health
  • humiliation
    • bully
    • gossip
  • parents
    • dad
    • mom
    • divorce
    • allowance
  • siblings
    • brother
    • sister
  • Pets

Search

Nikki's Advice & Diary

Recent Comments

  1. Ilovedorkdiaries on March CALENDAR – Happy National Puppy Day

    Hey dork diaries today I just got 7 books and I’m trying to get the whole series but I absolutely…

  2. fan girl 2014 on March CALENDAR – Happy National Puppy Day

    love the books! can you keep making more?

  3. fan girl 2014 on March CALENDAR – Happy National Puppy Day

    I LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE your books Nikki Russell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. DORKDIARIES4EVER on HOW DO YOU STOP CRUSHING ON YOUR CRUSH?

    Dork diaries is just my FAV boon series, and İ LOVE this website! SUPERcool, unique, different, characters just make the…

  5. D0rky4everrrr on Spring Dork Maker

    OMG! Im so excited about this coming out I love how pretty the designs are! Thank you Nikki SQUEEEEEEEEE

Footer

Website Map

  • Nikki’s Diary
  • Merchandise
  • Nikki’s Advice
  • Book Series
  • Brandon
  • Author Bio & Events
  • Chloe & Zoey
  • Videos
  • Fan Art
  • Dork Freebies

Buy the Books

  • Amazon
  • Powell’s
  • Barnes & Noble
  • Simon & Schuster
  • Books-A-Million
  • Target
  • IndieBound
  • Wal-mart

Dork Diaries International Site

  • Brazil
  • Germany
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • Bulgaria
  • Greece
  • Korea
  • Romania
  • Czech
  • Holland
  • Latvia
  • Taiwan
  • Estonia
  • Hungary
  • Lithuania
  • Turkey
  • France
  • Israel
  • Norway
  • UK

Copyright © 2023 Rachel Renée Russell · The Dork Diaries Series is written by Rachel Renée Russell and published by Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing · Terms and Conditions