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Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

 

Ask Brandon

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Dollarless Dork
Salon Brianna

May 27, 2017

MY PARENTS WON’T STOP FIGHTING!

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Dear Brandon,

I NEED YOUR HELP! My parents won’t stop fighting and it’s scaring me! They scream at each other and I always distract them and put them in different rooms to cool things off, but it doesn’t work! Sometimes, my parents even threaten to split up, but a week later they forget about it and cool off. But then, another FIGHT HAPPENS AGAIN! It’s an emotional rollercoaster, and don’t know what to do!!

Frustrated By Family Feud

Hey Frustrated By Family Feud,

Thanks for writing in about this. I’m sorry you’re going through it. This sounds really stressful and you totally deserve to be mad and sad and a bunch of other things, too.

This is the most important thing: It should NOT be your responsibility to referee your parents’ fights. None of this is your fault. They’re the grown-ups, and it puts WAY too much pressure on you.

When they start fighting, is it possible for you to get away from the fight? The best thing would be if you can go far enough that you don’t hear it at all. Like to a neighbor’s house, or take a walk around the block, or hang out at a nearby park. But if the only option is your room, go there and blast some music on your headphones.

Because, you’ve figured this out by now – you can’t fix it. And even if you could, it’s not your job. You need to get off the rollercoaster of feeling like you should be able to fix it and maybe it’s better for a minute but then it all falls apart again and you feel like you failed, even though it wasn’t about you at all.

Your parents might have gotten used to you getting involved. They might even use you against one another. If they’ll listen to you, tell them you don’t want to be a part of their fights anymore. And if they won’t listen to you, it’s okay to get someone else involved. Another adult family member, or a counselor. Someone you trust. This is way too much for you to deal with alone.

It might all be so stressful that it’s getting in the way of your sleep, or your schoolwork. You might have anxious headaches or stomachaches. This is NOT okay, and it’s a definite sign that you need to get someone else involved.

If there’s physical fighting involved, you may need to get out of the house. Not just during fights, but you might need to stay somewhere else for a while with another family member, or some friends. I’m sure you don’t want to get anyone in trouble, but the longer you wait to get help, the more difficult it will be. And if you’re scared, I’m worried that means you’re unsafe.

It’s normal for parents and families to argue sometimes. But, what you’re describing is not normal. I hope you can get some support, and that your parents can get the help they need from a professional.

You’re not alone in this. We’re rooting for you!

Do you ever feel like you’re caught in the middle of others fighting? How do you handle it?

Category: Ask Brandon Tags: parentsnikki

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Comments

  1. kittygirl says

    June 10, 2017 at 7:40 am

    That’s really terrible. Maybe you could talk to your BFF or teacher about this? It usually helps.

  2. Emma says

    June 10, 2017 at 12:52 am

    My parents fight all the time but it’s always about silly things.

  3. Banana says

    June 9, 2017 at 9:29 am

    I feel so sorry for you

  4. Fan of Dork Diaries says

    June 9, 2017 at 6:48 am

    I have the same problem! But it ‘s my mother arguing with my brother…IT SCARES ME!!!

  5. Cutiepie says

    June 8, 2017 at 4:44 am

    OMJ I FEEL SOOOOO SORY FOR YOU!!!!!!

  6. PandaGirl says

    June 7, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    Once I laid in bed and I listened to my parents fighting and talking things out. But only once I’ve heard.

  7. Anonymous says

    June 7, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    My parents do not fight mush, they do not fight at all

    • kittygirl says

      June 10, 2017 at 7:41 am

      Me too. Lucky me.

  8. lily dash says

    June 7, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    I always have people fighting in my family, sometimes i just let them fight it out. Yes i do cry because i hate when people fight but thats part of life. You just have to face that.

  9. Isabellamarie10 says

    June 7, 2017 at 11:46 am

    Yeah this happened to me and because of that a while thanksgiving was ruined.my family is the best my aunt asked if we wanted to say what we are thankful for and we do that every year but sents I was really mad and sad they asked me instead of my siblings.the reason was because my dad was cheering on my mom.:(

  10. Dork kid says

    June 6, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    all the time in my family and with my friends and classmates especially

  11. Also Rooting says

    June 6, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    This isn’t the end of the road! Hang in there!

  12. Anonymous says

    June 6, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    its ok my parents do that to just to let you know its not your fault they keep fighting rimind them that family is forever

  13. isabellamarie10 says

    June 6, 2017 at 1:47 am

    mine too:(

  14. #DD4ever says

    June 6, 2017 at 12:48 am

    My parents fight 24/7, but they always make up and then they fight aging. Oh, well that’s just life.

    • Bella swan says

      June 9, 2017 at 8:13 am

      That happens in my family too!

  15. Crazy tomboy says

    June 5, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    My parents are also fighting and once my father told my that it is our fault if they are fighting or might split up
    You just gotta hang in there

  16. I DORK DIARIES says

    June 5, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    Once I was riding in the car with my both parents. They were arguing about something but I didn’t listen to them (because it wasn’t about me).

  17. Anonymous says

    June 5, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Don’t worry, just remember it’s not your fault.

  18. Dorky fan says

    June 4, 2017 at 8:34 pm

    My parents sometimes fight, too. I dont like it and it gets me worked up. but i go to my room and take deep breaths and tell them to relax.

  19. Unicats Unite says

    June 4, 2017 at 9:21 am

    My mom only fights with my birds because they’re loud and dad when he plays piano and 24/7 and watches baseball which he pretty much always does so this kind of happens to me too.They always deal it out because of the cat and I

  20. Anonymous says

    June 3, 2017 at 4:53 am

    That happens to my parents too! I hate it. One day dad packed bags and nealy walked out but he came back. I was so sceard.

  21. Dorky girly says

    June 3, 2017 at 4:37 am

    My parent’s always fight it’s just terrible

  22. lover girl says

    June 2, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Hey there mine do it to but its ok they always and were about to move so alot more.

  23. Emoji Girl says

    June 2, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    If your parents are always fighting, the next time they fight, tell them you want to talk to them. Ask them why they are always fighting, and if they fight again try to forget about it, chill, and pretend their fighting never existed. If they EVER threat to divorce again, and it becomes a true divorce, if it gets on your nerves ( which it probably will) beg them not to!

    • Isabella says

      June 4, 2017 at 11:27 am

      That is so right!

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