Dear Nikki,
Privacy Pretty Please
I’m the oldest of two crazy siblings (imagine TWO Briannas!!). So, I really need my privacy. You know, that down time when you just get to be by yourself, text your friends, and do whatever you want without anybody bothering you. But, whenever I sneak off to be alone, my sibs always come and beg me to play with them! I can’t go to my bedroom and close the door because I share it with them, and I can’t tell them to leave me alone or they’ll get upset and tattle on me. What should I do?!
Hi Privacy Pretty Please,
First off, I’m SO sorry that you have a situation like that! I don’t know what I’d do because having ONE Brianna is already more than enough.
Either I have no idea where she is and what she’s up to, or it’s the opposite and she’s following me and she won’t leave me alone. So, I can’t even begin to imagine what having TWO Briannas would be like!
I totally understand why you feel the need to have some privacy and spend time by yourself. And it must be super annoying that you can never find some time for that!
Sometimes a break from other people is necessary so that you can stay sane the next time you’re around them. It may seem rude, but everyone needs a little “me time” to function!
So, by sneaking off, it honestly makes it seem like you DON’T want to be around them. And I know that you’re trying to get away from them, but maybe try doing it in a different way!
By sneaking off when they’re not paying attention, they may go looking for you just because they’re missing you and wondering where you went. It’s a normal reaction. Imagine if your best friend randomly disappeared. Wouldn’t you want to look for her/him as well? I know that I’d go looking for Chloe and Zoey if anything happened to them!
You also said that you’ve tried talking to your siblings before. Well, maybe you can explain the reason why you need time away from them. Let your siblings know it’s not that you don’t want to play with them, but that you need time to recharge.
A bad example would be: “Hey, let’s play hide ‘n’ seek!! I’ll count to ten and then find you!”
If you were to say that and then go sneak off, that probably wouldn’t be the nicest way to tell them to leave you alone. Besides, they’d eventually give up on you finding them, and then they’d go and find YOU!! ☹️
A good example would be: “Hey guys, can I play with you in a half hour? I really want to spend some time by myself/texting my friends/whatever.”
If you say that, you’re giving them a clear reason why you can’t play with them right then. And even if you don’t play with them in a half hour, they know that you’re not disappearing forever. You’re just going to spend some time by yourself.
If that doesn’t work, try talking to your parents about it. Hopefully you can work out a schedule and set aside some time everyday where your siblings know not to bother you. And since your parents are involved, your siblings should listen to them.
What do you do to get privacy?