October 25, 2017 HOW DO I STICK UP FOR MY BFF? Dear Nikki, There are these girls in my class who bully my best friend. My friend is pretty shy and won’t stick up for herself, so I try to stick up for her. But whenever I do, the girls are mean to me, too! My teacher told me to ignore them and let my BFF learn to stick up for herself, but it’s not that easy. I can’t just let them bully my BFF! What should I Do? Bothered By Bullies Bullying BFF Hi Bothered By Bullies Bullying BFF, You DEFINITELY can’t let them bully your BFF, that’s for sure! The only way I’ve survived MacKenzie for so long is because I knew I had Chloe and Zoey for backup!! I get what your teacher’s saying, though. If your friend always relies on YOU to deal with bullies, what’s she going to do when you’re not around? What if you’re not in the same class next year? Or she rides a different bus? Or she just runs into them at the mall or the pool or wherever? So, I DO think it’s important for her to learn to stick up for herself. But it’s NOT your responsibility to teach her. And WHILE she’s learning, you can for sure be there for her. That’s what BFFs are for! I think one of the best ways to be there for someone who is getting bullied is NOT by confronting the bully yourself. Like you said, that just makes them turn on you. But whether it’s your BFF or someone you don’t even know getting bullied, here are a few steps you can take (only if it’s safe for you to do so): As long as the bullies aren’t physically blocking your way (or you’re not stuck somewhere like a school bus), move your friend away as you talk to her and ignore the bullies. If this is someone you don’t know, once you’re removed from the situation, ask them if there’s anything they need or anyone you can call for them. Stay with them until you’re sure they’re okay. Continue to ignore whatever the bullies are doing or saying. It might be hard, especially if they’re saying mean things to a friend. OR if they’re saying things you know are really wrong! But bullies WANT the power they get out of confrontation. By ignoring them, you’re denying them that power. Be sure to talk to the person being bullied like the bullies aren’t even there. Talk about something TOTALLY normal. Like the weather. Or, “Oh, did you watch that show last night?” or “Have you read this book yet?” Make eye contact with them and physical contact, if that’s comfortable for both of you—like a hand on their shoulder. With your BFF, just be sure she knows you always have her back. Be sure she knows that you appreciate her just the way she is, whether she’s shy or whatever, because DORKS RULE! It sounds like you’re a really good friend. Your BFF is so lucky to have you! How do you feel when someone picks on your BFF? How do you handle it?
lucky says November 15, 2017 at 2:51 am i actually there for them even if it cost me my life because they are my bff after all i will be hurt if someone bullies them since i am the mature one i can handle it by just be there by their side
HugeDork says November 15, 2017 at 12:19 am I was bullyed so badly I had move schools so I know what it feels like. Now I have some great dorky friends to dork around with!
Ldshadowlady says November 14, 2017 at 8:49 pm sometimes people bully my best friend Jo JO BUT I STICK UP TO HER YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO Nikki’s advice.
Online name is always Lola >3 says November 14, 2017 at 6:14 pm No bullies in my class! Yet. But, thanks to YOU, Nikki, (WITHOUT sarcasm) I have a bunch of comebacks in my back pocket 🙂 .
The Popular girl32 says November 13, 2017 at 3:26 pm of course, I as in moi (used in French) used to be a bully, but now I can tell you that it’s not this way anymore… but now I stick up for my friends and family and its good to know that people actually care. I may be popular but it doesn’t mean I can still be rude and same as you guys.
RENOAH LOVES NARUTO says November 13, 2017 at 10:39 am Hey bothered by bullies bullying BFF I go through the same thing at my elementyr school thankfully next year i go to middle school in a different district and i will have a new reputation! SQEEEEEEEE!
Dorky dorky dork says November 13, 2017 at 7:34 am Gosh bully’s you and your freind should egnor them or stick up like Nikki choi and zoie did. That’s what I do .
Online name is always Lola >3 says November 13, 2017 at 7:14 am LOL I have so many problems right now I could write 10 letters to Nikki if you asked me to!
the ccp123 says November 13, 2017 at 3:28 pm squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee