Dork Diaries

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Miss Know-it-All's Advice
Plain Jane

Peculiar Pretender

I’M WORRIED ABOUT THIS SAD CCP!

Hey Nikki! There’s this girl at my school who’s a lot like MacKenzie. She’s pretty, stylish, has lots of friends, and makes fun of other people. But lately, she’s been feeling really upset. I want to help her, but I have NO IDEA how. I really need some advice!

Saddened By Sulking CCP

Hi Saddened By Sulking CCP,

OMG. You are SO NICE!! 🙂

I totally get what you’re saying. After Mackenzie stole my diary and I read what her life is like, I did kind of feel sorry for her. I couldn’t help but think that maybe if her life weren’t so messed up, she wouldn’t be so…Mackenzie-like!

I think a LOT of the time, bullies are really sad, scared, or insecure. They could even be all three. They tear other people down to build themselves up. It takes a pretty messed up person to tear someone else down in order to feel good. You’re being very kind to want to help a CCP who acts like that.

Unfortunately, you can’t change whatever is making her unhappy. But you can maybe bring some kindness into her life! The thing is, you don’t want to look like you’re trying to suck up to the school CCP/bully. That would probably just feed her need for power, and then she’d enjoy tearing you down. So I think the key is to try to do nice things for her when she won’t even know where it came from, so it’s not about you at all. It’s just about someone reaching out to her and showing selfless acts of kindness.

For example, you could leave anonymous notes in her locker – just happy things like, “Hope you’re having a great day!” Or maybe specific compliments, but I wouldn’t make them about appearance. You don’t want it to seem like a secret admirer trying to butter her up. I would make them about things she accomplishes—like if she’s good at PE, does well in a certain subject, or nails her performance in a talent show, etc.

It doesn’t all have to be completely anonymous. You can smile at her and say kind things. Just be prepared for her to ignore you, or worse, make you a target. If you can handle being a target, and still respond with kindness, that might make an impression!

Also, the reason that this CCP is sad could be bigger than we think. Mackenzie, for example, doesn’t have the greatest family life. The cynical side of me thinks one kind, encouraging person is not going to be enough to undo all the bad things that make her how she is.

BUT, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try! It just means you shouldn’t expect too much AND you should know that you can’t change who she is. But maybe you could brighten her day. And there’s no way to know what kind of impact that might have until you try.

Hey guys, have you ever thought about WHY bullies are bullies? Have you ever tried to be kind to a bully? How did it go? Tell us in the comments!

Comments

  2. you are SO totally right!This is why I LOVE U!(by the way,I’m a girl,not a boy) I’d love to ask you questions everyday,but I am always FILLED with homework from science to english!!!!!(HEEEEEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!)Anyways,have a grea day!!!:)

  4. can you help me with my problem? I have a classmate that is super nice and shy and I wanted to be her friend. I been adding notes and she never notices it and I been her partner at P.E. she never knows who my name is but is there anyway to make her notice me as a good friend.

  5. Be nice and ask her what’s wrong even though she can be a bully because you never know what could be going on in their life that you don’t know.

  7. Can you guys maybe help me with my problem? I have a classmate I want to be my friend. I want to ask her for her number so we can text, but I’m nervous she will say no. I’m going to see her on Saturday and I’m freaking out. I’ve already sent my question to Nikki, but I don’t think she will reply in time. Can you girls help me?

    • Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!!! What makes you so afraid of her? Just go up and talk to her!!!!!!! Maybe you can get someone else to go up to her with you. And if at first you don’t succeed try, try again!

    • Well… I been there before like how hopefully helpful said. But I mean just ask her. I know it might be hard but once you get your phone number it’ll already be done in time!~

    • My advice to you is that maybe this girl isn’t ready to hand her number over or she doesn’t have a phone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to her. Just walk up to her,act confident and nice,and pull up an ice breaker. Here are some: “Hey,nice shirt!” “Do you have (teacher’s name) for Algebra?” and “It’s nice to meet you! Maybe we can chat at lunch?”

    • You’re doing good! If you’re meeting on Saturday, then just go and be yourself, dress how you want to, and act like yourself. If she seems to like you and is nice and you still want to be her friend, casually mention how much fun you had at the end and if you can keep in contact, and if she wants to be your friend, she’ll give you her number. On the flip side, if you meet her and she’s a totally snobby, rude, mean person, think. Do you really want to be her friend? If not, tell her you had fun, and never talk to her again. If she won’t give you her number, forget about it. Try to make a new friend with the same strategy if all else fails! Good luck!

    • GIRL!you should just GO for it!IF she says okay, than good for you,but if its a no,then just let it go! Maybe she’s just a bit nervous,so give her some time to adjust…but DO talk to her whenever you can,and who knows- Maybe some day you to will be best friends,so go for it!!!!!!!!:)

  9. Nikki’s right!

    This CCP girl is obviously upset, here’s a hint,

    It doesn’t matter if she’s CCP you should ask her if she’s ok! If there’s anything wrong or if something’s upsetting her. If she turns her back on you or gets mad don’t bother she doesn’t want help! Don’t try to be her bestie try though! I hope this had being helpful

  10. hi Nikki OMG just leaving a comment makes me feel good . Any way……….Let me get to the point number 1: i am a HHHUUUGGGEEE fan of your “diaries” / books and number 2 : i really want to tell you i read ALL of your books ASAP and number 3 :is brinna (sorry i don’t know how to spell her name ) is she actually a brat ? and last number 4: i am running for student representative and could you give me some tips that i could use cause i have stage fright how do you think i would not be scared? please please please reply as soon as possible and tell me what you think cause i know you have been through stuff like this before

    thanks and my “name” will be below (;

  13. Hi Nikki I have a huge problem my boyfriend might be spending the night at his freinds house this friend, he’s know this friend since they were babies and this friend IS A GIRL!!!!
    What do I do please help me!!!!!!

  14. In her birthday I would round up her friends, put note in her locker that says meet me in _ at _,and throw her a big birthday party that would do you good in to ways. If she bullies you, she’ll see what you did for and probably she’ll ask you to be your friend, and she’ll feel much better knowing that if she feels sad she can always count on you to cheer her up.

  15. Hey, I think you should go for it! In our class, we have a motto : Simple Acts Have Profound Impacts.

  17. Maybe you should try to be friend with her without her noticing, like maybe leave this note at her locker right before a summer holiday: hope you have an awesome holiday!!! From:____

  18. I would definitely try to help her however I can even if she is pretty similar to drama-queen Mackenzie(lol):p

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