December 30, 2017 MY SISTER AND I ALWAYS FIGHT! Dear Brandon, My sister and I used to fight over little things, but now it’s over almost EVERYTHING! I get SO mad at her that I yell things I don’t really mean to say, like “I hate you” or “I wish you weren’t my sister.” The worst part is that I’m the youngest sister, so she thinks she knows more than I do and bosses me around. That makes it even more IMPOSSIBLE to get along with her! Please help!! Sorry Sister Dear Sorry Sister, This sounds really tough. I mean, I don’t have a sister. I don’t have any siblings. So at first I thought I couldn’t answer this. But then I thought maybe I can be a little more of an impartial observer. Like, I won’t bring my own drama with my siblings to this answer. Maybe that’s good? I don’t know. I’ll do my best, and hopefully others will give their opinions in the comments, too. Based on stuff I’ve heard from friends, it’s normal for siblings not to get along sometimes, and it can get intense. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. I think sometimes we fight MORE intensely with family members than anyone else because we know, at the end of the day, family members will still be there, no matter how awful we act. And as tweens/teens, our hormones are going crazy, right? And we learn in health class what that means physically, but I feel like we don’t talk enough about what that means emotionally. The way I understand it, all those crazy hormones make our emotions super extreme, and our brains don’t control our impulses as well as they will when we’re adults. This is NOT an excuse to just be a jerk and blame it on your hormones. BUT it does explain why you both might go too far sometimes, even though you really love each other. I think it would be good to talk to your sister some time when you guys are NOT upset. Tell her how much you love her and let her know that you don’t want to fight so much, and you know it’ll still happen, but that no matter what you say in the heat of an argument, you really love her. Depending on what you guys argue about, these ideas might help: Create a contract: A lot of siblings seem to fight over boundaries—one sibling getting into the other’s space, who’s using the TV, borrowing the other’s stuff without permission, etc. If you have these kinds of problems, maybe you could sit down with a parent or another trusted adult and come up with some rules for whatever you argue over that are fair to you both, and that have consequences for ignoring. Family Meetings: If you’re arguing a lot, chances are it’s having an impact on everyone in the family. Maybe it would be good to have a regular family meeting where everyone can talk about things that are important to them, so things aren’t bottled up until they explode. Sister Project: It might help you bond if you and your sister come up with a project you can work on together. Maybe you make dinner together once a week. Maybe the both of you could shoot some hoops or train together for a 5K. Or since your sibling is older than you are, you could ask her for homework help. It doesn’t really matter what the project is, but a chance to work together on something—not just a one-time thing, but something that you’d work on regularly—might help you both learn to interact with each other with more support and fewer out-of-control emotions. I hope these ideas help. And maybe some of our other readers can give their thoughts in the comments. How do you guys handle constant arguments with siblings? Do you say things you don’t mean? How do you feel when your siblings say awful things to you?
Broken Ankle Sister says January 12, 2018 at 11:51 am I have a younger brother that’s really annoying, but now he can’t do anything to me but do whatever I ask him to do, because I broke my ankle.
why me says January 12, 2018 at 10:28 am yes it’s starting all over agin waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The girl with a anoyng sister says January 12, 2018 at 7:19 am I know it happens to me too. I have a sister like Brianna . But this I don’t give importance to my sister and she is more mmm…. not very annoying .
J'aime Paris 13 says January 10, 2018 at 10:19 pm I don’t have a younger sibling, so I don’t have a clue ’bout sibling fights. Good luck with that though.
HappyCOOKIE says January 10, 2018 at 5:10 pm I’m the OLDER sister so everyone respects me to be more responsible. I get blamed for things and so do my sisters. Being the oldest is hard but also fun! Try and be nice to your sister or just leave her alone. Sometimes us big sisters need time alone to think things through. But sisters aren’t like your friends, no matter how much you argue, you’ll always be sisters!!
Buggy says January 9, 2018 at 11:09 pm Try ignoring her. If you don’t say anything back then you can’t make a fight.
sister #2 says January 7, 2018 at 8:30 pm I know how you feel , being the younger sister is really tough but you’ll get along with her soon. 🙂
TeamSelfless. says January 7, 2018 at 6:07 pm The best thing to do is be selfless. Do a lot of nice things for your sister. That way, it’s kinda impossible for her to hate you {although she doesn’t} because you would be so nice to her. Seriously, it works. In 5th grade, I tried to be really nice to everyone, and pretty much every kid liked me. It’ll work with your sister and even at school.
Art crazey says January 7, 2018 at 4:54 pm Being the older or younger sister who don’t get along wit each other is hard.
Cookie Meno says January 7, 2018 at 4:53 pm I totally get this! I’m the younger sister too, and me and my sister fight all the time. I’m with you. But just remember that she’s still your sister, and that no matter how big of a fight y’all get in, she’ll still be there for you.
dorky girl with annoying bro! says January 7, 2018 at 4:50 pm OMG! I FEEL JUST LIKE YOU BUT WITH AN ALMOST 7 YEAR OLD BROTHER! #ANNOYINGNESS UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So i suggest you… one sec my brother is bothering me brb! 300 days later UGHHHHHH SORRY! Where was i? oh yes! just walk away or tell your parents! it works every time! byeeeeee new bff!
Anonymous says January 7, 2018 at 11:09 am I can SO relate to what Sorry Sister is going through; the only thing that’s different is that I’M the older sister. The only thing I can say to this is… #1 Do not yell – use a calm tone #2 If she gets mad, you have to be the bigger person #3 IF this helps you, make stupid faces behind her back