Hi Nikki! I’m a girl and I have a BFF who just happens to be a boy. I DO NOT have a crush on him, and he does not have a crush on me, and that is that. But people always tease us and say, “Oooh, are you both crushing on each other?” They also sing that “Sitting In A Tree” song about us, and it’s super annoying!! Any advice on how to make them shut up?!
So Not Crushing
Hi So Not Crushing,
This is the WORST! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I think it’s awesome when guys and girls are friends. But it’s SO frustrating when people insist on seeing something else that’s SO not there, like a crush!
Like, what is even the point of that kind of teasing? Do they think you really do have a crush and want you to admit it? What do they get out of that? And do they really think embarrassing you is going to make it happen?
(Obviously, you don’t know the answers to these questions. And also obviously, I have experienced this and have some STRONG FEELINGS about people who should really just mind their own business!! 🙁 )
If they’re teasing you just to get a reaction out of you—and I SO think they are—the most effective thing is to act like it doesn’t bother you. Even if it totally does! Normally, I’m all about expressing your true feelings about stuff. But this is kind of a different case. If people are trying to upset you, the best way to make it stop is by ignoring them. Then they get bored and move on (hopefully!).
As hard as it might be when people make comments like that, or sing super annoying songs, try to ignore them. Or if you can do it convincingly, roll your eyes or give them bored looks like they couldn’t POSSIBLY be more juvenile.
But if anyone teasing you is an actual friend, I wouldn’t ignore them. I’d talk to them directly and tell them to PLEASE STOP. Be honest with them before it’s too late. It’s okay to let that friend know when the comments bug you and your guy BFF. Also let that friend know how important their friendship is to you. And listen to how they feel, too.
Other than that, I don’t know if there is a way to get people to shut up. Like…this is advice I give A LOT and sometimes I feel like a broken record. But the fact is, it’s good advice for a lot of situations: You can’t really change how other people act. You can only change how you let their actions affect YOU.
When people tease you like that, it’s SUPER annoying, no doubt. It’s also embarrassing, but you’d NEVER want it to make you AND your BFF so uncomfortable that it gets in the way of your awesome friendship!
I hope that helps, and that people quit bugging you soon. I’m glad you’ve got a tight guy-girl friendship. It’s rare and you’re really lucky!! 🙂