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Dork Diaries Book 14

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February 14, 2018

I’M NOT ALLOWED TO DO WHAT MY FRIENDS ARE DOING!

Hi Nikki!

My two best friends and I used to take theater lessons together.  But now, they’re both in ballet and my mom won’t let me switch so that I can join them. I love theater, but I’m starting to feel like a third wheel because they’re constantly practicing ballet without me!  How do I convince my mom to let me do what they’re doing?

Left Out

Hi Left Out,

I know exactly how you feel! Me and my BFFs Chloe and Zoey ALWAYS do stuff together. If it’s ever just the two of us, then the other one feels left out.

So it’s a total bummer that your BFFs aren’t in theater with you anymore. And I can understand wanting to take ballet so you don’t feel like you’re missing out.

But like, if you LOVE theater, I’m not sure this is the best reason to give it up. Even if you feel left out sometimes, your friends are going to be your friends, whether you do the same after-school activities or not. You might need to make an extra effort so you don’t drift apart, like scheduling regular sleepovers, doing more texting/video chatting, or establishing a fav hangout spot where you and your BFFs could meet every week. It also might be fun to support each other in your different activities—you go see their ballet recitals, while they come see your plays!

Try looking at things from your mom’s perspective, too. Starting a new activity is a HUGE commitment. It might also be expensive. It’s not just the cost of classes. But it also brings with it the cost of uniforms, gear, etc.

Aside from the money, there’s also the time commitment. You might start with one class. But if you commit to that new activity, you’ll be expected to take more and more classes. I know some girls who take like six or seven classes a week!  As you could probably guess, they don’t get much free time to do what they want.

So the point is, starting any new activity takes A LOT of work. That might explain why your mom doesn’t want to sign you up for ballet just so that you can hang out with your friends.

PLUS, it sounds like you love theater. But for whatever reason, you’d probably have to give that up to do ballet, right?

So, you should think hard about WHY you really want to do ballet. It’s a major activity you shouldn’t really start unless you feel passionate about it. Would you want to do it, even if your friends weren’t? If so, try convincing your mom about how passionate you really are. But if not…then I think it’s more important to work on ways to strengthen your friendship with your BFFs, even as you guys are no longer doing the same afterschool activities together.

Because that’s part of growing up! We develop different interests from our friends. And that’s okay! We can still be friends, support each other, and learn from each other. Our friendships get even stronger as we make more of an effort to stay close! 🙂

Have you ever felt left out when your friends did an activity you weren’t into? Or felt bummed when a friend dropped an activity you still loved? Tell us in the comments!

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: friendsnikki

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Comments

  1. I can help says

    February 28, 2018 at 5:18 am

    I TOTALLY understand how you feel! My Freind get to do a ton of things I don’t and do things I’m scared and nervous to do! I’m sure they don’t want you to feel left out! They are only doing ballet cause the love it so much! If you love theater like me stick to it! Who knows? We may be staring in a famous movie in the future!! Talk to your BFFs they probley don’t know how you feel

  2. Dorky_Chic says

    February 27, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    My friends are such good singers and I prefer writing and acting.DONT GIVE UP THEATRE no matter WHAT! Before you know it,you can be acting like a pro on broadway while they’re working their butts off!(lol) My point is:Don’t give up an activity you like for something your friends do.You can always have extra friends.

  3. Anonymous says

    February 27, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    Ni Nikki,
    Somone at m’y School likes me and im getting teased .Please what do i do?

    Teased,

  4. crazy left out says

    February 27, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    i do not like being left out eathier it hurts me

  5. ARMY(BTS) says

    February 27, 2018 at 10:48 am

    Nikki can you help me? A boy in my class likes me and i like him back… but he sometimes he talks to a girl who bullies me. I don’t know if i should tell him that she bullies me. WHAT DO I DO?
    P.S if nikki doesn’t see this can some of you help me???

  6. J-Hope_is_MINE says

    February 27, 2018 at 10:39 am

    Yah some times m friends talk about things that i don’t understand.

  7. Annonymous says

    February 27, 2018 at 4:42 am

    same, Bff. I got left out too! :((

  8. Chica says

    February 27, 2018 at 1:19 am

    I have the same problem it sucks

  9. Big Hoota says

    February 27, 2018 at 12:11 am

    Never happened to me but my friends seem to leave me out on a daily basis. How can I stop this?

  10. The real mercy main says

    February 26, 2018 at 11:10 pm

    I feel the same way\ (°¬°)/

  11. misspooch says

    February 26, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    I have left out for 5 months I haven’t ment any friends yet, after that, I have 600,000 imagination friends!! isn’t that cool?

  12. Yj says

    February 26, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    Hi Nikey or should I say Nicole I love books wanna know my first ,second and third Well i will tell you
    1.crush catastrophe
    2.puppy love
    3.drama queen
    I have a crush on someone

  13. Left out 2 says

    February 26, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    Same my 2 friends both play GAA and they all ways leave my out

  14. magiccookie says

    February 26, 2018 at 9:14 am

    i take ballet and theater is probably more fun. dont change clases beacuse of your freinds, i was in the same situation once but lisen to Niki she gives great advice. bye!

  15. Bff says

    February 26, 2018 at 1:00 am

    Sometimes I feel left out too!

    • Yj says

      February 26, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Don’t worry

    • Tiffany says

      February 28, 2018 at 4:10 am

      I never feel left out because i am in ccp at my school

  16. Your friend maria says

    February 25, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    Hey it’s gonna get better and ask if they can join back if not just make new friends in theater .

  17. HELP!! says

    February 25, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    Hey Nikki,

    There’s this boy that’s been in my class since first grade. He was my friend in first grade, and he began to assume that I liked him! I told him I didn’t, but he didn’t believe me I’m in middle school now, and his locker is right next to mine! He still thinks I like him, but he just feels like a brother to me. But if I told him that, I would sound creepier than I already sound! What do I do? HELP!

    P.S. Likely Nikki isn’t gonna see this, so if ANYONE else has advice PLEASE SHARE!

    • The real mercy main says

      February 26, 2018 at 11:11 pm

      Tell someone you trust like one of your friends to tell him

    • Anonymous says

      February 27, 2018 at 5:05 pm

      you should just tell him that he has been like a brother to u and tell him u NEVER liked more then a friend

  18. dork dance says

    February 25, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    ya my friends all do hockey and im not in!

  19. supercoolgirl says

    February 25, 2018 at 11:50 am

    Wow this is really good advice Nikki

  20. Anonymous says

    February 25, 2018 at 9:29 am

    telll ur fiends how u feel

  21. left out kid too says

    February 25, 2018 at 9:28 am

    just continue asking . and tell ur frienss hoe u feel

  22. Dorkdiarielover says

    February 25, 2018 at 7:45 am

    OMG!! I used to feel left out all the time until i talked about it with my friends.

  23. Dorkdiaries says

    February 25, 2018 at 7:44 am

    OMG!! I feel left out all the time. All of my friends will be doing something that i dont want to do and then im the only one not doing it. I do this dance program and i only really wanted to do it if my friend was doing but, my mom said i had to do it. So now i have to do it wether i like it or not.

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