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May 16, 2018

My BFF is OBSESSED with her crush!

Dear Nikki,

My BFF is TOTALLY OBSESSED with this guy she’s crushing on! Everyday, it’s “He LOVES that!,” “He’ll HATE this!” or “He’s coming my way! Quick, how do I look?!” It’s driving me KA-RAY-ZEE! At first I thought she’d get over it. But today, she didn’t eat a hamburger since he’s going vegan, and she LOVES hamburgers! I tried to talk to her about it, but she was too busy trying to take a photo of him for the background of her phone. Please help!!

Crazy Crushitis Crisis

Hi Crazy Crushitis Crisis,

This sounds SUPER annoying. But also? (Hangs head in shame…) I’m pretty sure I’ve been that annoying BFF. So, please be patient with her. It might be lasting longer than you hoped, but it IS just a phase. Like, she’s not going to try to sneak a photo of him at your high school graduation. I promise!

But, that doesn’t mean you have to just grit your teeth and accept the obsession. Especially if you see her changing who she is to try to please this guy. Because that is NOT cool.

I think there are a few things you can do.

First, talk to your friend. Keep it light. Let her know you care about her, but also that she’s driving you a little crazy. And suggest a few things to help keep your friendship healthy, even while she’s on her extended tour of “Crush Land.”

Maybe you could agree on crush-free zones. Like times of day, or places, where no crushing is allowed. And there’s a penalty if the crush comes up. So like, for example, you could agree to do this when you’re on the bus going to school, or when you talk to each other on the phone after finishing your homework. And during those times, she’s not allowed to bring up the crush. If she does, you keep a count. And if it happens X number of times, she owes you a fro-yo, your favorite candy bar, or whatever works for you guys.

But if she’s going to make this effort NOT to talk about him sometimes, then there have to be times when you make the effort to put up with the obsession. Because she’s your BFF and you want her to be able to talk to you about what’s important to her, right??

I do think it’s fair to talk to her about the hamburger thing, though. And it’s probably not just the hamburger thing. Like, I’m guessing there are other ways she’s changing who she is or how she looks to try to please this guy. And it sounds like she needs a good BFF pep talk about how she’s awesome the way she is, and if he doesn’t like her the way she is, then he doesn’t deserve her.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been in her shoes (with a HUGE crush on you-know-who!), but I think you can try to talk to her about this. You just need to be patient. Because the fact is, the tables will probably turn. YOU’LL be the one with the crush obsession, and when she gets super annoyed with you, you’ll be able to say, “Okay, but remember how much I put up with when you were obsessed with vegan guy?!”

And even if you somehow manage to never be a super annoying love-struck BFF, you’ll have been a really, really good friend, and that WILL benefit you in other ways. I promise!

How do you guys handle it when your BFF is OBSESSED with their crush? Or, how do your friends handle it when YOU’RE the crush-obsessed one? Tell us in the comments

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: BFF, crushnikki

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Comments

  1. Nikki 2.0 says

    May 29, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    I used 2 have a friend like that but she moved to Florida. ♡♡

  2. NIKKI MAXELE says

    May 29, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    Well…Once my friend got in love with this annoying CCP guy. I hate It wHEN he comes near me and SORT OF ANNOYS ME. i JUST BROKE UP WITH HER

  3. #wow says

    May 29, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    me too

  4. #Ughh!! says

    May 29, 2018 at 10:35 pm

    My BFF IS SO ANOYYING!! SAMETHING HAPPEND

  5. uniamelia says

    May 29, 2018 at 9:36 pm

    woah, her friend is totally obssed with him

  6. LOVE DORK DIARIES says

    May 29, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Your not alone my bff was like that every day and that use to be like that for like every month

  7. colombian crush says

    May 29, 2018 at 7:18 pm

    Dear Nikki,
    Im crushing in a boy at school, and the other students know who is my crush and they allways bother me.
    What should I do!
    P.S sorry if i made some mistakes in writing is that Im colombian so Im just learing how to write in english.

  8. Ebba :) says

    May 29, 2018 at 6:58 pm

    Hey, everyone gets a crush! You just have to wait it out. Maybe hint at it- dont hang out with her as much. She will notice that your not, and decide that this boy isnt worth a steady friendship.
    #bestiesbeforebros 🙂

  9. #FluffyUnicorn says

    May 29, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    My BFF is so obsessed with her crush she barely spends anytime with me and our friends it gets us so annoyed. So I know how you feel.

  10. Ellie says

    May 29, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    I am also obsessed with someone. Does anyone have any tips to become less obsessed? Thanks
    😀

  11. SelfieChic says

    May 29, 2018 at 12:03 pm

    Wish my BFF was not so Crazy about this boy that’s my friend

  12. #RainbowUnicorn says

    May 29, 2018 at 6:50 am

    I once had a super annoying friend that just went ON and ON. I just pretended I didn’t care and eventually she got bored of boasting. She just texts all the time now!!

  13. DORK DIARIES FAN says

    May 29, 2018 at 5:26 am

    Well That’s Me ?!!

  14. Mackenzie says

    May 29, 2018 at 3:57 am

    I has a friend like that too… Everyday talk about her crush when i was trying to talk to her..

  15. Favourite Dork diaries says

    May 29, 2018 at 3:55 am

    Nikki is so good at answering crush letters and stuff! love her!

  16. chubby bunny says

    May 29, 2018 at 12:45 am

    bummer in the summer

  17. Lolcrazy3lit says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    My bff is obsessing over her crush. If I told her mine ( which I won’t, because she might become my best ENEMY forever in a few years), then I probably would too. Should I tell her?!

  18. Queen of the Humor says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    Okay,I have to admit,but I used to be obsessed with my crush,but not in a love-sick puppy way.I do have a friend(Not my BFF,like KittyKat Dork said) and she was CRAZY for him!I thought I was gonna lose her,cause like,she was TOTALLY obsessed with him.She sat with him,she copied him,she talked about him all the time,and she also watched him go to the washroom!
    Ew. But then her crush(Who is also my crush)told me that she was acting weird around him.I had to agree,obviously.Then he told me,”If she likes me,tell her that I don’t like her at all.I only consider her as a friend.P.S.She is a total creep.”When I told her that,she was crushed.She had a total meltdown.It front of the whole school!Of course,I was embarrassed,but she was my friend.So when everyone stared at us,I just yelled,”This is for Drama class,people!She’s just showing me how great she is at acting!”And gave a thumbs up.Everyone nodded and got back their biz.She was still having a meltdown,and then she said,”Can you tell him I like him?”And I said,”Um,okay.”
    When I told him,he didn’t look very surprised.He just said,”Okay.Whatever.”he seemed mad or something,probably because of my friend.She is incredibly annoying,as I do say myself.When I told what happened,she was shocked.I feel really bad for her,don’t you?
    Please tell in the comments if you feel bad for her and also say what you would have done in that situation.
    Thanks!

    • Scotch Eggs says

      May 29, 2018 at 1:52 pm

      Hey there Queen of the Humor,
      This story really stood out to me. You did the right thing telling your friend what the guy said. My crush insulted me to my friend in science and she WAITED to tell me!!! And trust me. Your friend needs to know what heartbreak feels like, the sooner the better. It hurts the first couple of times but then you get used to it. I hope she feels better! Maybe you can invite her over for a sleepover to cheer her up and bring the subject over to the cute guys at your school!! ; )
      Your friend,
      Scotch Eggs xxxx

  19. Anonymous says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    My friend is obsessing over her crush and if I tell her mine, I probably will too.

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