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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

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Miss Know-it-All's Advice
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Part 1

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Part 2

December 21, 2018

EVERYONE COMPARES ME TO MY BFF!

Dear Nikki,

My body’s okay, but I don’t like how it looks. I know I’m not THAT fat, but my best friend is thin, flexible and everybody admires her and I’m just hidden. Nobody cares about me. I’m useless at everything. So basically:

• I’m unhappy about my body.
• I’m not talented at sports or anything else.
• My friend is talented at sports, so either I’m compared to her or ignored.

I think my future is not looking very good. Please help!

BFF Envy

Hi BFF Envy,

Okay, let’s start with a group hug for you, and anyone else who feels compared to a friend, sibling, or anyone else. I actually had more letters than usual this week about feeling compared to someone who seems good at everything, so it must be going around!

Let’s face it—It’s hard not to compare yourself to other people who excel in certain areas, like sports, academics, singing or whatever. Some people find their thing early, and that’s cool. But it’s not true for most people. I mean, take me and my friends. Brandon kind of found his thing right away – he’s amazing at photography! But it took a while for me since I had to try a little bit of everything – ice skating, playing in a band, advice columns—before I realized my true talent was art. As for Chloe and Zoey, they have LOTS of talent, but they don’t have any ONE thing they’re super good at (besides being my BFFs!).

Honestly, most people don’t! Most people don’t find something they’re truly passionate about until a lot later in life. These years are for trying all sorts of things and figuring out not just what you’re good at, but what you LOVE doing.

And even if it seems like she’s great at everything, I guarantee there are things your friend may not be so great at. She might even compare herself to YOU and think you’re better at something than she is!

It sounds like you need a confidence boost. You are your own harshest critic. I REFUSE to believe you’re useless at everything! Maybe you’re a great listener. Maybe you’re great with little kids. Imagine if one of your friends told you they feel like they’re useless at everything. What would you say to them? Try to treat yourself with the same kindness you treat your BFFs with.

Here’s what I want you to do – go to the link I’m about to give you and print out this worksheet. (Or just copy down the questions – it’s not a lot of writing.) Fill these questions in every day for a week. Do it for a few weeks, if it feels like it’s helping. Here’s the link:

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/self-esteem-journal.pdf

I know you’re feeling down on yourself, but this has nothing to do with your future. Your body and athletic ability are only going to matter if your goal for the future is to be an Olympic gymnast, prima ballerina or something. Besides, there are TONS of other things you could be good at that don’t involve sports!

Here’s what WILL matter to your future: Developing a healthy self-image! If you can build some confidence and love for yourself, there’ll be no stopping you! 🙂

Do you ever feel compared to a friend, classmate or sibling? How do you handle it? How do you boost your confidence when you’re feeling down? Tell us in the comments!

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: BFF, self-esteemnikki

Comment Guidelines

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  • All comments MUST be on topic!
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Comments

  1. hermione granger says

    January 10, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    love yourself no matter what

  2. hermione granger says

    January 10, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    I CAN FEEl WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE!!!!!!!!!

  3. hermione granger says

    January 10, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    when my friend said she got 300’s in math,it made me feel bad about my grades.

  4. Kitthpotter17 says

    January 10, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    It’s ok , I have been compared to lots of people. It doesn’t feel good. I also feel like I am not good at things too! I think we would be great friends , just tell her how you feel and maybe take a break from being around the people that are comparing you to you BFF!

  5. DORKISHJ says

    January 10, 2019 at 9:49 am

    I’m like that too…

  6. DORKYLOVE101 says

    January 10, 2019 at 5:17 am

    Aww that’s ok it’s okay BUT I’m always compared to my bff

  7. Anonymous says

    January 9, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    Holy baked potatoes!! I get you

  8. Dorky27:) says

    January 9, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    Dear Niki, I’m having trouble getting my grades up and I don’t know what to do, when I felt confident about one of my essays I didn’t do well at all , and now that , just happened I feel like im going to fail my social studies project, and my mom said if I don’t get a 4+ or 4- then she is going to take away my privileges. I don’t want that happening , what can I do to get my grades up ?? Please help me out here I really need to get my grades up and beyond
    Sincerely,
    Dorky27:)

  9. Bff says

    January 9, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    I get it and i used to feel like that too but sometimes you have to face the pain first before you truly find what your good at.
    P .s never feel that way about yourself

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