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Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

#1 New York Times Bestselling Series

 

Ask Brandon

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Dollarless Dork
Salon Brianna

January 19, 2019

I FORGOT HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS!!!

Dear Brandon,

I’m going to a new school soon, and I’m FREAKING OUT!!! I’ve moved schools like SEVEN TIMES in THREE YEARS because of my disabled sister, but my mom says I will be staying in this community until high school. I’m only in 5th grade now! The thing is, since I move schools so much, I’ve stopped making friends so I wouldn’t have to leave them. Believe it or not, I kind of FORGOT how to make friends. I’m not able to talk to my parents about it, since they usually only pay attention to my sick and disabled sister. What should I do?

Friendless, Frustrated And Forgotten

Hey Friendless, Frustrated And Forgotten,

Wow, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot! Going to a new school is hard enough, but that many moves is really tough. I can understand why you kind of shut down on making friends in the last few years.

But, since it sounds like you’re going to be in the same place for a while—which is actually great news—you will definitely want to make some friends. So, I called Nikki since she’s been the new kid at school before, and we came up with some things for you to keep in mind:

  1. Be friendly. This might seem obvious, but depending on your personality, shy can look like stuck-up to people who don’t already know you. And if you’ve actively avoided making friends in the past few years, you might have to work a little harder to be sure you’re giving off a friendly attitude. So smile, look people in the eye, and be friendly.
  2. Ask for help. If you’re at a new school, there’s lots you won’t know. Probably, since you’re so used to switching schools, you know how to adjust pretty quickly and find your way around. But being new gives you lots of chances to ask those around you for help. People like to have information and share it. You can start with something simple, like, “Where’s the library?” But work up to questions that might lead to more of a conversation, like, “What are the foods to avoid in the cafeteria?” Or, “What are the best clubs and afterschool activities?”
  3. And, speaking of clubs and afterschool activities… Join in! If you’re still in elementary school, there might not be as many clubs and afterschool activities through the school as there will be in middle school. But find out if the kids in your school are involved in scouts, sports teams or community theater, and then join in on whatever interests you. Because honestly, you don’t get that much time to socialize during school hours, right? So, those activities can be the best way to really make friends.

It bums me out that you don’t really talk to your parents because they only pay attention to your sister. I don’t know the details about her situation, but it sounds like your parents have a lot on their plate. Still, you’re their kid too and I’m SURE they want to know what’s going on in your life. It’s probably just that you’ve learned to take care of yourself and it doesn’t seem like you need them as much, so you don’t end up getting as much attention. But you’re only in 5th grade—of course you need your parents!

Try to find a time when your sister doesn’t need anything—maybe when she’s asleep, or at a physical therapy appointment, or watching a movie, and ask your parents if you can talk to them about something important. You might start by saying that you know they’re really busy with your sister, but you’re feeling like you need to talk to them about a problem. (Hopefully that’s when they’ll assure you that they love you very much and they’re sorry if you’ve felt ignored, and of course they want to hear what’s going on with you.) Then talk to them about this issue, or whatever else is going on.

Maybe you could ask for a once a month chat with each of them individually, where you go to get ice cream or hang out at the park, to give you a chance to talk one on one. I’m excited for you to have the chance to settle down and make some friends. I hope you make some BFFs like Chloe and Zoey (but don’t have to hide in a janitor’s closet to do it).

Hey readers, any tips for making friends in a new situation?

Category: Ask Brandon Tags: friendsnikki

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Comments

  1. friends says

    February 2, 2019 at 11:57 am

    Never give up on your self

  2. Confused Person says

    February 1, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    I Wonder Why Brandon Is Barely Involved In Book 13? (No Spoilers I Havent Finish It Yet)

  3. Rumor Girl says

    February 1, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    I Feel Like Everyone Just Hates Behind My Back And I Have No Idea Why!! What Do I Do??

  4. LOL says

    February 1, 2019 at 11:29 am

    Stay strong! your awesome!!!!!!

  5. mhbfvju says

    February 1, 2019 at 9:50 am

    i have the tales from not-so happybirthday i love you.

  6. CCP_DORK says

    February 1, 2019 at 2:54 am

    Think positive!

  7. Meh says

    January 31, 2019 at 2:27 pm

    Just be yourself.If them people you are pkanning to be friends with do nit like you for YOU forget them!

  8. fgfgfg says

    January 31, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    when my BFF left I was devastated.it took weeks to find new friends. and even then I was stuck with a bully so I suggest you show the world your real self and always remember to show your inner DORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Happily Dorkly says

    January 31, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    DORK TTTTTTTTTTTTT
    TTTTTTTTTTTTTT
    TTTTT
    TTTT astic!
    TTTT
    TTTT

  10. BFF Dork! says

    January 31, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
    I am so happy to here this, sense my sister is annoying me!
    1 This friendship-spin gets me to cry,almost!
    2 It is great to ask Nikki for advice.
    3 I really feel left out sometimes.
    4 Help me find new BFFs!
    My BFFs are kind of mean!
    See You All Later!

  11. #dorkygirl says

    January 31, 2019 at 12:02 pm

    I too always move around after every 3 year because of my moms job.. My tip is speak out.. Whenever you have a choice. And NEVER think you will be in the ccp group when you reach the new school itself….

  12. DORK with the PORK says

    January 30, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    so i think that you are a really cool girl but that is another story so sorry to hear that and i hope you make some really nice friends very soon brandon has given you some really cool advice use that and you will be able to make the best friend ever as you won’t be moving school for a long time now GO GIRL

  13. Friendly Fanatic says

    January 29, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    Try asking around and being friendly! I’m sure someone’s bound to want to be friend with you, hope you make friends :]

  14. Ravenclawrules says

    January 28, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    Oh my Gosh! I feel so bad for you.
    My advice~ Don’t be shy, it may be hard but you have to be brave. Spot kids you think look nice and talk to them.
    My advice~ With the fact your parents don’t pay attention to you, you should talk to them. It can be hard but you must be brave. No one ever makes a difference without taking risks. And I know I can’t just tell you to do it because it’s harder than that. If you’re too scared to make new friends by asking people, be nice to everyone, be genuine and show people that you would make an amazing friend!
    I got your back and I wish you good luck.

  15. Kind kid says

    January 28, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    Always be true to yourself and you will find true friends

    • Dork crush says

      January 31, 2019 at 1:18 pm

      SSSSQQQQUUUUEEE!!!!
      You tell her girl!

  16. DorkDiariesLuver!! says

    January 28, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    I felt the same once… it was bad. BUT I saw someone on the bench sitting alone. I went to her and we became really good friends. :3

  17. Anonymous says

    January 28, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    If you ever see someone sitting alone give them a chance. That will help you make friends. :3

  18. hopeless romantic says

    January 28, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    i know what you feel like. it happened to me recently – this year. now im the most popular kid in my school. and my crush likes me – i think. its not soooooo bad after 3 days, youll have friends think positive!!!!

  19. Dorky girl says

    January 27, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    I understand what you had to go through! I have moved alot and sometimes I would go home crying because I had no friends! But it always works out in the end!

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Hey, guys! Having trouble talking to the girl you like? And girls, do you ever wonder what boys are really thinking? I’ve got you covered! I’m here to give you honest advice from a dude’s point-of-view. Understanding the opposite gender doesn’t have to be as hard as Honors Calculous. As a guy, I’ve learned a thing or two about girls just by hanging out with my friend, Nikki. So, go ahead! Tell me what’s on your mind! I’ll answer a question each week and post one of the cool pics I’ve personally taken of the kids at my school.

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