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Dork Diaries Book 14

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May 28, 2020

My friend has a crush on me!!!

Hi Nikki,

HELP!!! I have a HUGE problem! My friend Tyler has a crush on me. We’ve been friends since kindergarten. Our families do stuff together all the time. I only think of him as a friend. But he told me he has a crush on me! I have a crush on someone else, and even if I didn’t, I just don’t think of Tyler that way. But how can I tell him that I don’t “like him like him” without hurting his feelings?

Bothered Bestie

Hi Bothered Bestie,

Big yikes, that’s a tough one!!! It’s hard enough when you don’t like someone who’s crushing on you. But to have it be a friend…and probably someone you’ll have to see regularly outside of school? Really big yikes!

It’s good to remember that while you probably feel helpless, you are actually the one with power in this situation. Tyler told the truth about how he feels. How you react will make a big difference in how you both feel, and whether your friendship survives.

Here’s what I think is SUPER important:

  1. Don’t lead him on. That’s when you pretend to “like him like him” back but really don’t! It can be REALLY flattering to know someone has a crush on you. And you might not mean to, but it’s tempting to sort of encourage the crush, even when you don’t feel the same way, because it makes you feel special. PLEASE don’t do that!! It’ll just make things WORSE. If you give him false hope, his feelings will be even more crushed when he realizes you don’t really like him.
  2. Be clear that your friendship with him is important to you. It’s not that you don’t like him as a person, you just don’t “like him like him”, like you said. It’s really hard when you’re the one crushing not to take that personally. It’s like, if you really like me, why don’t you “like me like me?!” What’s wrong with me? I know this because I’ve felt that way before.
  3. Be prepared that Tyler might need some space. His feelings will probably be hurt and he might need some time to deal with that and get over his crush. Don’t insist that everything stay exactly the same because of your friendship. That will just make it harder for him to get over you. So give him the space he needs, and as long as he knows you still want to be friends, hopefully he’ll chill out and things will go back to normal.
  4. Finally, DO NOT make a big deal of it. He’s going to feel embarrassed that he admitted his crush on you and it didn’t work out. So be as TOTALLY NORMAL as possible, especially when you guys are around other people, especially the ones who knew he had a crush on you.

Chances are really good he’ll get over his feelings with time and you will be able to go back to how things were before. Just make sure he has the time and space he needs, and that you’re clear about your feelings!

Have you ever had a crush on a friend? Or has a friend ever had a crush on you? How did you handle it?

Category: Ask Nikki Tags: crush, friendnikki

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Comments

  1. DORKY ME says

    June 10, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    you can talk to him over the phone

  2. Hermione Granger says

    June 10, 2020 at 8:28 pm

    I have a crush too!

  3. lillybean941 says

    June 10, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    the kid that had a crush on me in kindergarden was not only a creep but he had baaaad hygiene issues 😛

  4. xXGalacticEncouragerXx says

    June 10, 2020 at 4:58 pm

    GURL HAVE FAITH! if he likes u he wouldnt wanna make u feel uncomfortable. It makes sense that he likes you, i mean you have been friends since kindergarten right? personally if i was in the same situation i would totally explain to them calmly that you dont like them as a crush but that you could stay friends.

  5. kittypurry says

    June 10, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    Oh my. I hope he’s not like, really into you. That’s when you should worry.

    Stay safe!(It’s a mask kiss lol)

  6. LuvMyLipGloss says

    June 10, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    That happened to me once but I didn’t turn him down though

  7. cutie nikki says

    June 10, 2020 at 10:41 am

    what an akward situation

  8. AGENT DORK 4 EVER says

    June 10, 2020 at 8:43 am

    I’M SURE IT WILL WORK OUT IN THE END &GOOD LUCK!!!!!

  9. Sad Bff says

    June 10, 2020 at 8:32 am

    Dear Nikki,
    i have a problem that I can’t ignore I have I bff that is 9 years old and whenever I play with her usually never smiles at me, and laughs at my jokes and only smiles and laughs at my other bff’s jokes and I don’t know what’s wrong with her do you know what’s wrong with her? From Sad Bff

  10. Dorky 101 says

    June 10, 2020 at 5:49 am

    Don’t worry things will work out. Peace dorky 101

  11. i'm amazing says

    June 10, 2020 at 3:18 am

    man no boys even wanna sit next to me

  12. Dorky Ellie says

    June 9, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    Same here! There is this boy at my school, he likes me but… well i don’t really mainly because he is a trouble maker. I dont know what do tell him until now. Thanks Nikki!

  13. Bystander says

    June 9, 2020 at 7:23 pm

    That must be tough.

  14. lillybean941 says

    June 9, 2020 at 7:11 pm

    wow ive had that happen to me in kindergarten and the boy that was crushing on me was a huge creep

    ~lillybean941

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