June 18, 2020 HOW DO I CHOOSE A BFF?! Dear Nikki, I have a LOT of friends, which is great, but they keep asking who my BEST friend is. I don’t know and I feel like I have to tell them! But then the one I don’t choose is going to feel bad. I’ve asked them if I can have more than one, but they say no. I have too many people to choose from and I don’t know who to choose. Please help me out! Bummed BFF Hi Bummed BFF, Okay, first of all, I am PROOF that you can have more than one BFF! I would never in a million years choose between Chloe and Zoey (and they would never ask me to!). I’m sure there will be some people who read your question and wish they were in your shoes. I definitely get A LOT of letters from people wishing they had a BFF, or any good friends at all. I’m not trying to make you feel bad—your situation sounds really tough! But maybe people who struggle with not having friends will see that even people with a lot of friends have problems, too. Having BFFs is great! But honestly, having so many great friends that you can’t choose which one is the best also sounds pretty great. You shouldn’t HAVE to choose. And you’re right—if you choose only ONE person as your BFF, there are going to be lots of hurt feelings! If someone really IS your BFF, I don’t think you should hide that to protect other people. BUT if you truly don’t feel like you’re closer to one friend than another, don’t let them pressure you. After all, REAL friends don’t pressure friends to choose who’s the best! Also, if everyone is trying to be named your best friend, it sounds like you actually have some power. I know that comes with tons of pressure. But you can also use that power in a good way! If they really want to be your friends so badly, they’re not going to dump you if you refuse to name a BFF. Instead, tell them that you think they’re all equally awesome in their own way! Then point out why you think so for each friend. For example, one friend might host amazing sleepovers, while another has a great sense of humor. Hopefully that should make them feel special enough to get them off your back! LOL 😀!! So, I say stand strong! Tell them you’re not choosing. You love all your friends and they’re all special and that’s that. There might be some hurt feelings from people who think you should have chosen them, but it won’t be as bad as if you had actually named someone else. They’ll get over it. (And if they don’t, they DEFINITELY aren’t BFF material.) What do you guys think? How do you deal with choosing the best BFF, or do you think you shouldn’t have to choose? Tell us in the comments!
Agent Owl says June 27, 2020 at 2:41 am U sound like me when I had all these CCPs wanting me to do their evil binding by being their friend. (Well maybe that’s TOTALLY different, just pretend I didn’t say that.)
Care care says June 26, 2020 at 6:33 pm My friends say the same thing and I tell them I do not have first BFF or a second bff so just say I am not telling you
StarWarsFan says June 26, 2020 at 3:32 pm I have a bunch of friends too, and they don’t ask me to choose which one I would have for my best friend, but if I were in your shoes, I would choose the friend(s) that are closest to me. I used to have, like, five or more BFF s, but I felt like we weren’t as close as we used to, so I started hanging out with one of my friends that I think of as my sister, and now, during school, (when there WAS school) we were inseparable. I knew then that she was my Best Friend. My other friends eventually learned to adapt. If your friends said ONE BFF, I’d choose the friend that I feel closest to.
♡xXSukiWølfi_SparkleDørkXx♡ says June 26, 2020 at 11:50 am Hi (*Purple-Star-Pink-Star*)! So, this sounds like a tough situation. A similar thing is happening to me, with my friend. I confessed to her about my crush, and I’m worried she’ll tease me, because, she is that type of person who’s always joking around. Since we’re BFFs, I will try to give the best advice I can! First of all, do you even trust Cindy? You wouldn’t be writing this to me if you KNEW she would keep your secret. Well, I have a feeling you don’t. I don’t think she’s your true friend. A true friend would keep their secret, right?! Although, there is a chance that she COULD make fun of you, so that she doesn’t feel left out in all the teasing. I say that you ONLY tell your crushes to people who you trust from now on. It’s the safest way! But really, if you’re worried that your friends will tease you, you shouldn’t be friends with them. Good friends never make you feel uncomfortable. What you should do is you should stay calm. Make sure not to join the ones who tease Cindy. Also, ask Cindy if you can trust her. Hopefully you can. If Cindy says she’ll spill it, leave the friends immediately. Of course, don’t take it to far like staying locked in your room for a week. Just leave them, and let the humiliation be within the group only. Even if they do humiliate you, at least it’s better than having your whole SCHOOL do it! I’m sorry that all of this is happening, but still, I hope my advice helps! Good luck and please post this! Stay YOU-nique, ♡xXSukiWølfi_SparkleDørkXx♡ Seeking for advice? Don’t know who to ask?? I’m here to help! Just ask. Today’s Question: If you could choose, what would you get: Nikki’s art talent or Mackenzie’s fashion sense?
Kitty Cake says June 28, 2020 at 1:44 pm I would get Nikki’s art talent. I love art!!! But if I could have Nikki’s talent, I could be better!
Annabeth Chase says June 30, 2020 at 6:01 pm Nikkis art talent. She’s a better person! Thanks suki wolfi, Ill do this too. If I write advice in comments can I do the question thing and all?
(*Purple-Star-Pink-Star*) says June 30, 2020 at 7:41 pm Thank you so much ♡XXSukiWølfi_SparkleDørkXx♡!!! I appreciate this advice!
Cats4Life says June 26, 2020 at 10:32 am I have many friends too! I’m always switching my BFF every year. Different classes, or same classes.
Slythring Shy says June 26, 2020 at 2:46 pm wow! i always get in the same classes my my bff, so i don’t switch all the time
♢♡LuvDorkDiaries♡♢ says June 27, 2020 at 5:58 pm Yeah.Same with Slythring Shy.Though Im not sure about NEXT year.
Gobo tio says June 26, 2020 at 10:25 am Wow Nikki you are great in answering everyone’s comment and I also love your books
Dorky#3 says June 26, 2020 at 10:11 am OMG SAAAME. I’m no CCP diva, but I have tons of friends ( including my 10 crushes ) and they all keep asking me to choose! I was about to write in the Nikki column, but then this letter came and it really helped! They all felt sooo better! ( Oh and btw, the boys didn’t ask me the fav person only girls )
Kitty boxerella says June 26, 2020 at 9:22 am Hi niki I read your book and I heard you are miss know it all so hear I go I really want more dork diaries but I don’t know how to convince her
KittyCupcake says June 26, 2020 at 9:05 am I feel sorry for you I was also once in that situation maybe just tell them you are all my friends.I am such a big fan of you Nikki
TAPDANCER says June 26, 2020 at 6:17 am Hi! You do not need to worry about that! The thing that matters is you are happy!!
Thinking thoughts says June 26, 2020 at 4:50 am You don’t have to pick they are all amazing,although it has happend to me somehow.Just be truly you and if some of them don’t want to be your friend then they are missing out. They will come running back eventually.
Geek girl says June 25, 2020 at 11:11 pm Hi,my name is ———————-and I am losing all my bffs to my worst enemy!help me Nikki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love,Geek girl
Pjo geek girl says June 30, 2020 at 6:44 pm Try to get new friends, unless these friends are still talking to you often enough
lonely star says June 25, 2020 at 11:06 pm wow I thought I was the only one who got crush crushed,I say just keep trying.
Lonely High school girl says June 25, 2020 at 7:50 pm I don’t even have 1 friend…. Plus, I AM IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!
i loove dork diarys says June 25, 2020 at 3:31 pm help nikki l have four bffs always ask me who is my best bff if i don’t say any thing they would be mad and if i pick i will lose all of my bffs except the one i pick what should i dooooooooooooo!
Dorky Advice Girl says June 25, 2020 at 3:23 pm Dear Bummed BFF, This seems like a REALLY big problem, but don’t worry! I’m here to help! First, you don’t NEED to pick a BFF! From your question it seems like you can’t pick a BFF! Well, not everyone needs to have a BFF! You can have a lot of very close friends insead. And you can’t really just pick a BFF just like that. If you are someone’s BFF, you just know that they are your BFF, and don’t have to ask. So, if no one comes to mind as BFF then you don’t have one. And you don’t have to choose one. Because your heart picks one without thinking. The next time your friends ask just say that you don’t really have a BFF. And if they ask why just say that your heart and mind didn’t pick one, and you can’t make yourself pick one. Sincerely, Dorky Advice Girl
PINKPOWERGIRL86 says June 25, 2020 at 1:53 pm You don’t need to choose. Follow Nikki’s advice and you’ll be alright!
Dork Diaries Lover says June 25, 2020 at 12:50 pm My friends are like that but whenever that happens I say all of them are my best friend