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Author:
Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

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Ask Brandon

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December 5, 2020

MY FAMILY’S HOLIDAY TRADITIONS ARE SO EMBARRASSING!

Okay Brandon,
I need some advice about my CRAZY EMBARRASSING family!! We celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. Every year on the holidays, my parents make our family put on a stupid play and they tape it—last year I had to be the official pooper scooper elf and follow behind Santa’s “reindeer” (aka my little brother who was making rude noises the whole time). This year, they’re going to post our new play all over their lame social media accounts!! And maybe even on YouTube! PLUS, my mom’s on the PTO and they’re organizing a “Family Holiday Spirit” video competition. She’s totally going to enter ours!! EVERYONE at my school will end up seeing it!

What should I do?! Help!!

Embarrassed Elf

Hey Embarrassed Elf,

This is a holiday hiccup for sure. I mean, your role in the play last year sounds like it stunk (literally). Trust me, I pick up a lot of poop at Fuzzy Friends—though to be fair, it’s not on video (not that I would put it past MacKenzie to film me and then post it all over the internet).

A lot of families have holiday traditions. Some are great, like making cookies and volunteering. Some aren’t as great (I mean, who came up with ugly Christmas sweater contests?). Nikki told me that some years her dad puts a Santa outfit on the giant roach on top of his truck, opens his windows, and blasts a song he wrote himself:

You better wipe floors,

You better not spill,

If you don’t clean up, the bugs surely will,

Santa Roach is coming to town!

Um, yeah, she was pretty embarrassed about that. 

It sounds like your family’s plays are meant to be funny, so while you find them cringeworthy, other people will get a kick out of them and smile.

Have you ever seen the movie ELF? I love that movie! What if Will Ferrell had been too embarrassed to dress up as an enormous Santa’s helper? What if he’d been too grossed out to shove all that spaghetti covered in syrup in his mouth or sing at the top of his lungs or eat used gum from under a subway railing??? The movie wouldn’t have been a hit! And you know what? I think he had a blast doing it! I’m glad that guy doesn’t take himself too seriously.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking:

“BAD example, Brandon! If I got paid millions of dollars to be a pooper scooper in an elf costume, I’d do it! I’d even make a sequel! Know why? Because then I’d have the money to quit school, buy a mansion on my own private island, and never have to face anyone again!”

You’re right about one thing—we all have different personalities, so what’s fun and funny to one person might not be to someone else (I gotta be honest, it sounds like your brother wasn’t too upset about making farting noises on video). I’m a pretty shy guy, so I feel for you, for sure.

I’ll leave you with some options:

  1. Run away to the North Pole and become a REAL reindeer pooper scooper (hey, you kind of have experience). Santa would never post anything about the North Pole on YouTube. On second thought, this is probably a bad option. Might get you on the naughty list. 😉
  2. Fake sick on the day of filming the video. Hmmmm. Also not a great option, since your family could pull a sneak attack and put you in the video anyway (I’m picturing your brother running in with an emergency bowl of CHRISTMAS CHEER SOUP, and who knows what he’d put in it).
  3. Demand a part that’s not so embarrassing for you (or maybe ask politely—that’d probably go over better). Maybe you could be a Narrator and dress in regular clothes.
  4. Explain your concerns to your parents. Tell them that even though you appreciate them trying to do something as a family, you’re worried about getting made fun of at school (no parent wants to hear that!). Ask if maybe you can just keep the video for the family, and not share it with every person who has internet access.

Bottom line, you probably won’t see many of the kids you go to school with when you grown up. BUT, you will see your family for the rest of your life. Speak your mind and make your points, but maybe take it a little easy on your parents. My grandma sometimes gets misty-eyed and tells me I’m growing up too fast. I bet your parents feel the same way.

That’s all I’ve got for today! It’s your turn readers. Does your family have any traditions that totally embarrass you? What did you do about it? Tell us in the comments!

Category: Ask Brandon Tags: christmas, parentsnikki

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Comments

  1. A Festive Vernian says

    December 5, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Oh my gosh, I feel super sorry for you! But I think you should just opt out of the play or ask politely for a less embarrassing part. By the way, Elf was amazing, you should watch it!

  2. cutie cat says

    December 5, 2020 at 8:51 pm

    Nikki’s dad: You better wipe floors,

    You better not spill,

    If you don’t clean up, the bugs surely will,

    Santa Roach is coming to town!

    Nikki: why me?

    Brandon: *finally laughs at Nikki*

    Chloe/Zoey: Oh no honey no.

    • Pekieki says

      December 6, 2020 at 10:51 am

      Uh..

  3. D e p r e s s i o n says

    December 5, 2020 at 8:22 pm

    My parents would beat me up if I said no to that.
    Y’all are lucky you have such kind parents…

  4. §℉℃μβ£¥€£issocool Harper says

    December 5, 2020 at 8:08 pm

    SO BAD!!!

  5. Dorky Drama Queen says

    December 5, 2020 at 7:22 pm

    Wow! How embarrassing! I’m so lucky that my family doesn’t have any embarrassing traditions. Also I’m so sorry I am not sorry. I just am.

  6. Magical Moonlight says

    December 5, 2020 at 7:11 pm

    do not let people make you do things if you do not want to do it

  7. HarmonicFriendship✨ says

    December 5, 2020 at 7:01 pm

    SO sorry you have to go through this. But the good news is, if your classmates DO see it, they may not really care either way(as in, think that its cool you’re entering the contest, but then not really mind about the video.)
    But I suggest you listen to Brandon. Try to ask your parents for a different part, or to not be in it at all.
    If all goes well, good! If NOT, try to laugh it off. It always works for me when I do something embarrassing!

    -HarmonicFriendship✨
    (P.S. I know this is kind of random but i’m taking advice requests right here on Ask Nikki/Ask Brandon !!!)

  8. Dorky Big Sis says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:40 pm

    I LOVE the movie Elf!!!

    • Lefty Dork says

      December 7, 2020 at 11:31 pm

      Me too!

      Have a FANTASTIC and AWESOME day!

      -Lefty Dork

  9. BookwormB says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    I get how that might be bad but how about asking your family for like the part of santa? Maybe you could ask your parents to write the play so its not too Embaressing. I get how that stuff might be weird. My parents make us wear matching pjs! I dont always feel the same way about this stuff so Its not the easiest to help. But maybe if you try this stuff itll be great

  10. Oofgurl ;w; says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:34 pm

    ❄️I don’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah because I’m not Christian or Jewish.I belong to another religion.But that must be sooo embarrassing OMG!! Just BEG your parents to NOT post it on YouTube or Social media.If I had to do something like that. I would DIE of embarrassment! If my parents had me do something like that then they posted that on Social media, my life would be OVER!!! But their not like that.Thank goodness!!
    ❄️Anyway, I suggest you just talk it out with your parents.I’m SURE they’ll understand.After all, they are your parents!!!!! And hey, maybe you could do something NOT super embarrassing like that that you would rather dig a deep hole crawl into it, and Die?! And if they DO end up posting it on Social Media, you should be LUCKY you do online school (I might be wrong?!!) So you DON’T have to face the kids at your school.Even if you DON’T do online, wearing a mask is definitely an A+ Because it will keep YOU safe and not to mention your mask will be covering up 99% of your face.But hey, I suggest you persuade and convince your parents.Then maybe you don’t have to do something like that ever again!!! 😀

    Hope this helps!! <3

    Happy Winter everyone!!!❄️ 😀

    • Kitty cakeeee says

      December 6, 2020 at 10:53 am

      Welp if she posts it on YouTube.. HUNDREDS OF PEAOOLE WILL SEE IT…. AND SHE WOULD BE EMBARRASSED

  11. Dorky Drama Queen says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:16 pm

    Girl hey,

    MY ADVICE:

    1)I would tell your parents what’s on your mind. Tell them that these traditions are alittle ridiculous and should be changed maybe. Have a little talk about how those things are ridiculous to u and should be changed.

    2)Maybe you can change them take things into your own hands. Find out what’s embarrassing and then change them. Let your parents know you would like to change things and want to do things differently and more modern.

    3)Your parents probably want you to do these things because they are wanting you to enjoy them. You as a child are probably thinking you are two young to be embarrassed!! Your parents want u to enjoy the things, and are holding on to those traditions and aren’t ready to let go to them.

    4)Bear with your parents! You may have to do these embarrassing things until your parents are ready to go. Urge them alittle to want to let go. Tell them they can let go and change the tradition. But until they are ready you will have to bear with them and wait until they are ready to change.

    I hope I helped you with your traditions!!!!!!! Just remember to bear with your parents and when they are ready u can change the traditions!!

    POST FAST

    NEED ADVICE JUST ASK ME!!

  12. ILuvBrandon says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:07 pm

    If your parents don’t let you change your part and do not listen to your concerns, you can tell your parents that you wouldn’t like to participate in the play this year. I had a really humiliating tradition too, but I told my parents I didn’t want to do it because they wouldn’t listen to me. It works for me, and if worst comes to worst, I hope this solution works for you too!

  13. CCP_Wannabe says

    December 5, 2020 at 6:04 pm

    That’s is so embarrassing! I feel so bad for them. I hope that they don’t do it this year. Best of luck!!

  14. Sassy ccp dork says

    December 5, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    I am so shy and when I do stuff in front of people I get so nervous and I can’t get my legs to stop shaking! My advice is talk about it with your family and DON’T DO IT

  15. Sour patch says

    December 5, 2020 at 5:30 pm

    Omg I’d be so embarrassed good luck!

    Sour patch
    Stay safe and mask up y’all

  16. Anonymous says

    December 5, 2020 at 5:04 pm

    I was expecting more from the title of the question. seriously, I don’t really like it.

  17. Hufflepuff badger says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:53 pm

    Do NOT perform in this play! Do everything you can , just make sure you DON’T DO IT!

    • Advice Girl says

      December 5, 2020 at 8:27 pm

      With all due respect, I think that she should try to be a part of it and have fun (if she wants). I would definitely say that she shouldn’t do ANYTHING to get out of it- honesty and gratitude go a long way 🙂

  18. Super advisor says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Wow I’d be so embarrassed if my family did that! Honestly I think you should just tell your parents that you’re worried about other people seeing this video and making fun of you. Maybe you could negotiate to something a little bit normal.

  19. ♡❀Sxnny_May❀♡ says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:45 pm

    Great advice!
    Omg! I’m feel so sorry for you!

    • german dork says

      December 6, 2020 at 6:58 am

      I would go for Option 1

  20. Unikitty121 says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    Omg my family is quite different, we stay up till mid night we eat and play games and at the exact stroke of midnight we open our presents

    • Sweetheart says

      December 5, 2020 at 5:22 pm

      Fun!

    • Anonymous says

      December 5, 2020 at 5:40 pm

      OMG!! same tradition! its so awesome cuz now i dont feel like the only one who stays up till midnight!

    • Guineapiglover says

      December 6, 2020 at 9:27 am

      That sounds SOOOOOO fun, Unikitty121!!!!

  21. WINTER101! says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    Girl hey,

    MY ADVICE:

    1)I would tell your parents what’s on your mind. Tell them that these traditions are alittle ridiculous and should be changed maybe. Have a little talk about how those things are ridiculous to u and should be changed.

    2)Maybe you can change them take things into your own hands. Find out what’s embarrassing and then change them. Let your parents know you would like to change things and want to do things differently and more modern.

    3)Your parents probably want you to do these things because they are wanting you to enjoy them. You as a child are probably thinking you are two young to be embarrassed!! Your parents want u to enjoy the things, and are holding on to those traditions and aren’t ready to let go to them.

    4)Bear with your parents! You may have to do these embarrassing things until your parents are ready to go. Urge them alittle to want to let go. Tell them they can let go and change the tradition. But until they are ready you will have to bear with them and wait until they are ready to change.

    I hope I helped you with your traditions!!!!!!! Just remember to bear with your parents and when they are ready u can change the traditions!!

    POST FAST

    NEED ADVICE JUST ASK ME!!

    YOUR GIRL
    WINTER101!

    • Dorkygirl33 says

      December 5, 2020 at 5:29 pm

      Hey Winter 101, can I have some advice? I have this friend (who I DO NOT have a crush on). He’s a nice guy and we email each other ever now and then. But the thing is, he has a crush on me. And I think that is I keep emailing him then he’s going to think that I have a crush on him. I would just stop emailing him, but I like doing it and I think it’s fun. I seriously need some help.

      -Dorkygirl33

    • Friends and Hate says

      December 6, 2020 at 12:07 am

      HELP!!!!! PLEASE, I NEED ADVICEEEE!!!! Ok, so.. I have a great friend! BUT she always seems to hate ALL my best friends and now, my other friends are starting to really hate her!!! And even worse, on day I was with one of my other friend who really hates my friend and seemed really mad and said “Ok listen, if you’re going to be friends with me, then you’re going to have to choose between me or ______(my friend that hates all my friend’s name)”. PLEASE I NEED HELP TO CHOOSE, PLEASE ANSWER SOON!!!!!

    • lol says

      December 6, 2020 at 6:42 am

      ok thx lol

    • Lefty Dork says

      December 8, 2020 at 12:13 am

      Hi Dorkygirl33!:

      I’m not WINTER101! but I’d really like to help of it’ss okay!

      So, this is a toughie! You have a BFF who like-likes you but you don’t like-like him.

      First of: don’t stop emailing him! This could ruin your relationship. Just do one of these two things here, depending on what kind of girl you are:

      1- direct person: if you’re a direct person, someone who gets to the point, do this. Tell him the NICEST way possible. Like, “you’re a great guy. Super sweet, smart, nice. But I don’t like you that way. I really hope we can still be friends!” This may not be the best solution. Or it could! Depends on what kind of guy he is.

      2: indirect person. If you’d rather send hints then be super straight, do this. Just drop the f word (friend) on a normal email. Like if he helps you with something, be all like “Thank you! You are such a great FRIEND!” Hopefully, he’ll take the hint.

      I really hope this advice was helpful.
      And always remember: he is a great guy, you should be careful with his feelings.

      Have a FANTASTIC and AWESOME day!

      -Lefty Dork

  22. Blabbermouth Luna says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:36 pm

    I don’t really meet up with my relatives too often. We live all around the country at different towns and cities. So yeah, we don’t have any tradition kind of stuff, all we do is exchange letters and presents and sometimes have phone calls.

    • Sweetheart says

      December 5, 2020 at 5:23 pm

      Cool same my relatives live in India I haven’t seen them for 2 years! I don’t celebrate Christmas anyway as I’m Muslim

  23. Rainbows magic says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    My families tradition is telling me 2 play Christmas songs on my piano, and then they share it with everybody. Ugh.

    • Newgirl20061 says

      December 5, 2020 at 7:44 pm

      That seem like a cool tradition to be honest! 😉

    • Guineapiglover says

      December 6, 2020 at 9:28 am

      They tell me to do that with my flute, Rainbows Magic. Difference is, I LIKE doing that and they don’t share it with anyone outside my fam.

  24. Dorky Beatles Fanatic says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:05 pm

    That all sounds pretty funny!

  25. Rainbows magic says

    December 5, 2020 at 4:01 pm

    Totally agree with u, embarrassed elf!

    • Dork 2 says

      December 6, 2020 at 10:05 am

      Yaa same

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