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Rachel Renée Russell

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Dork Diaries Book 14

Dork Diaries

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Ask Brandon

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Dollarless Dork
Salon Brianna

January 9, 2021

My BFFs are FRENEMIES!

Hi Brandon,

So, recently my two friends got into an BIG argument. I don’t want to make either of them mad or hurt anyone’s feelings, but they keep pressuring me to hurry up and choose whose side I’m on. I really don’t like picking sides and it’s making me really STRESSED OUT. I don’t know what to do! Can you help me?

BFF (Best Frenemy Forever)

Dear BFF (Best Frenemy Forever),

Man, being stuck in the middle is not fun, so I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The problem is that if you choose a side, someone is DEFINITELY going to end up with hurt feelings. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Either way, one of your friends gets hurt. And you’ll be hurt too, when the friend you don’t side with gets mad at you.

(“I KNOW THIS, BRANDON. THAT’S WHY I WROTE YOU FOR HELP!” you may be thinking to yourself.)

I just wanted to state the problem clearly so you’ll understand why I’ll say this next: I don’t think you should choose a side. And I think you have to be clear that you’re NOT going to. Because if you’re just quiet about it, they’ll think you’re still deciding and they should keep pestering you to get you to choose one over the other.

I think you need to tell them really clearly and firmly that you like them both and that their argument is between THEM.  You’re not going to take a side, no matter how much they pressure you. And any time they try to bring it up again, you repeat the same thing. “Both of you are my friend and I’m not going to choose whose side I’m on.” You repeat it until they get it, or until it becomes annoying to everyone.

If they can’t get past their argument, they might need to sit down with someone neutral to help them talk it through – but it shouldn’t be you. You’re trying to be neutral, but since they’re both trying so hard to get you to agree with one of them, it would be really hard for you to help them with this.

So maybe pick a school counselor or a cool teacher each of you like to help resolve it. Or someone’s older sibling, if they can be neutral.

That is, unless your friends don’t actually want to resolve it. Sometimes there are issues so big and they just can’t let it go and then…well, then friendships change. I hope that’s not the case here. But if it is, they’ll definitely want you to take sides and I’d just encourage you to keep telling them you don’t want to lose either of their friendships.

But, hopefully it’s not quite that bad. Hopefully when you stand firm and make it clear that your friendship with BOTH of them is the most important thing, they’ll realize how ridiculous they’re being. Maybe they’ll even end up being grateful that you didn’t pick a side!

How do you handle it when you’re stuck in the middle between two friends? Tell us in the comments.

Category: Ask Brandon Tags: BFFnikki

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Comments

  1. Singing Artsy Lover says

    January 12, 2021 at 2:14 pm

    Oh i get it. Total feel u. Ive been through this.

  2. Fixing MacKenzie problem says

    January 12, 2021 at 1:06 pm

    Brandon should have a diary too

    ~Fixing MacKenzie problem~

  3. Dork IS cool kid says

    January 12, 2021 at 9:39 am

    I love dork diaries, I read them every day.

  4. HEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!! says

    January 12, 2021 at 9:03 am

    Well I cant really relate, I have ONE BBFL and she is all I need. Most of the other kids at my school ar snoobs. Including my twin and her bff

  5. ~Cookie Lover~ says

    January 12, 2021 at 4:59 am

    It sucks to pick a side doesn’t it?

  6. Chilled Cow says

    January 12, 2021 at 3:30 am

    ima girl

  7. crazy*** says

    January 12, 2021 at 2:00 am

    I get it. Once my BFFs fought for who’s prettier and asked me to pick!!

  8. Dorkyfan says

    January 11, 2021 at 9:30 pm

    Yeah!

  9. Stuck in the Middle says

    January 11, 2021 at 8:14 pm

    Yes, I get it. being in the middle of two close friends is hard. I had to keep secrets from one friend and not tell the other but the problem is that we were BFFS so she would ask where the other one was at lunch and I had to find a excuse every time which was basically every day.

  10. BlaCk LiFes MattEr says

    January 11, 2021 at 6:56 pm

    My friends were being very similar and I didn’t like it But they worked things out! Also I can’t wait to read the nest diary lol

  11. TheWeirdestWeirdo says

    January 11, 2021 at 5:21 pm

    Dear WINTER101,
    I have a crush on this super cute girl. The only problem is that I’m a weirdo and she’s a CCP. How can I get her to like ME, the BIGGEST weirdo in the SCHOOL?!

    • Cool Boy says

      January 12, 2021 at 10:51 am

      Guy just chill you can’t force her to like you back but you can talk to her and not all CCP is bad some of them are good ❄✨

    • is she likes you she like you says

      January 12, 2021 at 1:03 pm

      Well I would really recommend telling her if she say she does not like you so what just say you have better things to do btw girls like love dorks and weirdos and half the time the ccp girls are really weirdos just like you

  12. Australian Dorky Bunny says

    January 11, 2021 at 5:00 pm

    The exact same thing happened to me when I was in year two!

  13. Art dork says

    January 11, 2021 at 2:38 pm

    If i were u i would make new friends but I don’t have to do that 😉

  14. Dorks rule da world! says

    January 11, 2021 at 2:23 pm

    MAn it sucks i have to pick a side and im like nah u suck im finding other bff (best friend frenzy) and dont taco to meh

  15. Dorky says

    January 11, 2021 at 12:55 pm

    i really took this advise since my bffs keep arguing its just so tiring

  16. TheStripedParrot says

    January 11, 2021 at 12:14 pm

    My BFFs and I don’t fight much, we just had a few teeny squabbles over art stuff. But gee, (and I sure hope I’m not ripping off what other people say, what they said merely gave me an idea) they should act like YOUNG ADULTS and not OLD BABIES!!

    —TheStripedParrot

  17. Taco Queen says

    January 11, 2021 at 11:26 am

    You shouldn’t have to pick a side. Have them talk to each other and make up

  18. Kawaii Cuticorn says

    January 11, 2021 at 10:11 am

    Alomost like Brandon and Andre. Brandon if u r seeing this, then here is a tip, U guys r a freaking competitive. So like dude Nikki likes u ok! And they r just friends. Nikki is ur girlfriend. Ok I have to vomit now. Because the conversation with Girlfriend is, disgusting. I am not a love person. See ya

  19. Dorky Girl says

    January 11, 2021 at 9:52 am

    Great advise Brandon !!!

  20. hi :) says

    January 11, 2021 at 9:15 am

    That happened to me too but idc I didn’t choose I just ignore them and leave them alone

  21. Lovely says

    January 11, 2021 at 8:45 am

    Great advise Brandon

  22. N U G G E T S :) says

    January 11, 2021 at 7:53 am

    if my friends did the same i would just give them both space until they stop the madness but this is about you so its your choice.Do it like how you wanna do it.#GIRLSRULETHEWORLD

  23. StrangeMoon says

    January 11, 2021 at 7:11 am

    Hi! Maybe try to set up a time at a cafe so all of you guys can talk things out?

  24. I ship Brandon and nikki~~~~~~ says

    January 11, 2021 at 6:40 am

    I know how brandon knows this:
    HE HAS A CRUSH ON NIKKI AND IS SWEET+ROMANTIC!! DUH!
    I got the part where he has a love interest on nikki at google. I searched it 4 my bootiful(beatiful) ship with Brandon and Nikki~!
    Every time there is a pic with them alone(like the sweetheart dance)this is my face:
    “my bootiful ship”
    And just like that i had’nt outgrown that, shipping people in2 their crushes.

    😛

    • ♡XxKawaii_BubblegumxX♡ says

      January 12, 2021 at 5:50 pm

      xD Yeah on google it actually says that Brandon has a crush on Nikki Maxwell! omg, so romantic!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

  25. Anonymous says

    January 11, 2021 at 1:31 am

    I’ve had that once when I was like in first grade when I had to pick a side, and back then I was pretty dumb and chose one. The other friend kind of got mad at me and kind of ignored me for a few weeks but then I realized that I’d done the wrong thing (and the one I chose wasn’t really that nice to me anymore) and so I kind of started to do nice things for her and before we knew it we became BFFs. We’re really great friends now too, and we’re now in 5th grade.

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