January 9, 2021 My BFFs are FRENEMIES! Hi Brandon,So, recently my two friends got into an BIG argument. I don’t want to make either of them mad or hurt anyone’s feelings, but they keep pressuring me to hurry up and choose whose side I’m on. I really don’t like picking sides and it’s making me really STRESSED OUT. I don’t know what to do! Can you help me?BFF (Best Frenemy Forever) Dear BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), Man, being stuck in the middle is not fun, so I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The problem is that if you choose a side, someone is DEFINITELY going to end up with hurt feelings. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Either way, one of your friends gets hurt. And you’ll be hurt too, when the friend you don’t side with gets mad at you. (“I KNOW THIS, BRANDON. THAT’S WHY I WROTE YOU FOR HELP!” you may be thinking to yourself.) I just wanted to state the problem clearly so you’ll understand why I’ll say this next: I don’t think you should choose a side. And I think you have to be clear that you’re NOT going to. Because if you’re just quiet about it, they’ll think you’re still deciding and they should keep pestering you to get you to choose one over the other. I think you need to tell them really clearly and firmly that you like them both and that their argument is between THEM. You’re not going to take a side, no matter how much they pressure you. And any time they try to bring it up again, you repeat the same thing. “Both of you are my friend and I’m not going to choose whose side I’m on.” You repeat it until they get it, or until it becomes annoying to everyone. If they can’t get past their argument, they might need to sit down with someone neutral to help them talk it through – but it shouldn’t be you. You’re trying to be neutral, but since they’re both trying so hard to get you to agree with one of them, it would be really hard for you to help them with this. So maybe pick a school counselor or a cool teacher each of you like to help resolve it. Or someone’s older sibling, if they can be neutral. That is, unless your friends don’t actually want to resolve it. Sometimes there are issues so big and they just can’t let it go and then…well, then friendships change. I hope that’s not the case here. But if it is, they’ll definitely want you to take sides and I’d just encourage you to keep telling them you don’t want to lose either of their friendships. But, hopefully it’s not quite that bad. Hopefully when you stand firm and make it clear that your friendship with BOTH of them is the most important thing, they’ll realize how ridiculous they’re being. Maybe they’ll even end up being grateful that you didn’t pick a side! How do you handle it when you’re stuck in the middle between two friends? Tell us in the comments.
donutgirl says January 14, 2021 at 5:57 am I just say What is this argument about. They tell me (if they even remember) and then I just separate them. That is the only thing that keeps them from fighting Reply to this comment
LuvDorkDiaries says January 14, 2021 at 5:33 am I have really awesome friends but I have a LOT of them. I don’t know who I should pick as a bff. But here are thier personalities: gamer funny dorky friendly and cool! help me Brandon! Reply to this comment
FREINDSFRIENDS says January 14, 2021 at 4:48 am Dear BFF (Best Frenemy Forever),, Believe me, I have been in this situation before like SOOOO many times, what I would just do is just tell your friends that they should stop having this argument because you prefered it when you guys were all friends and hopefully they would get the point, BUT, if they didn’t then just talk to one another separately, and tell them that you really one to be their friends. And then just right now I HAVE A REALLY GOOD SUGGESTION!!!!!! Tell one of them the that other friends is really sorry and wants to be friends again, and then after you told that friends tell the other friend the same thing!!!! Hope this works , Reply to this comment
AJforever101 says January 14, 2021 at 3:33 am Dear friendfrenzyfries, Woah that’ll be a challenge since you can’t join any club or anything. If you know anyone that you have talked to before and like who could be a possible friend talk to them more. Ask them too introduce you to more people soon enough you will have a lot of friends I hope this helped Reply to this comment
Gamer_Christine says January 14, 2021 at 3:32 am how i deal with my BFFs when they argue and tell me to pick a side: BFFs: i don’t like this girl any more! so, you’re either with her or me! Me: AHEM EXCUSE ME?? ARE YOU TELLING ME TO PICK A SIDE?? BRUH GIRLS, YOU HAVE BEEN BFFS FOR 6 YEARS AND I ONLY GOT TO KNOW YOU BOTH FOR 5 YEARS. AND YOU’RE TELLING ME TO PICK A SIDE??? SAY WHAAAAT?!??! bFFs: ….. crazy as usual. Me: See?? you said the same thing! now stick back together or i’ll push yall together U_U BFFs: OwO Reply to this comment
DORKSRULE says January 13, 2021 at 6:51 pm you should totally say “I am not getting into this fight. you guys should sort it out.” Reply to this comment
Anime Fan Girl #1 says January 13, 2021 at 1:03 pm BFF-san leave both of theme if they force u 2 choose!! so that way they won’t plot to get revenge!! Reply to this comment
Uncomplete says January 13, 2021 at 11:58 am Its more better if you can go on ur own clan since they are different and you are too. Reply to this comment
Anonymous says January 13, 2021 at 10:06 am Hi so somebody in my class is bullying me for my music choice btw I love the band queen i don’t know what to do please help from MEGA QUEEN FAN Reply to this comment
Dorky Situations says January 15, 2021 at 7:28 am Hey Girl, This always works for me when ANYONE is annoying me: 1: Ignore that person, remember to remain patient ;). 2: If you want to give them a snappy comeback then say: “Hey has your mom ever taught you about opinions? Oh wait, I forgot that you can’t even spell that yet!” Basically think of snappy comebacks, like Nikki to Mackenzie :P, or tryyyyy option oneeee??? But I prefer snappy come backs, that should shut them up for a while. Your Dorky advising friend, Dorky Situations
UdorkIDork says January 13, 2021 at 6:06 am I’ve been in this situation before. But I still haven’t solved it since I left school. I hope they’re friends. Good luck! Reply to this comment
Dorky Introverted Loner says January 13, 2021 at 3:56 am Been there done that got the T-Shirt 🙂 I didn’t choose both of them were sisters and they made up 🙂 Except now I don’t hang out with anyone cause I like being alone and everyone now thinks I’m weird (I am) Reply to this comment
not-so-flirty girl says January 13, 2021 at 3:00 am I have a problem! Can anyone help me? I’m crushing on this guy, but I don’t think he likes me back AND I have these problems! I don’t really talk to my crush. These are some reasons: 1. I am friends with his cousin, and I have no clue what she would think if she found out I was crushing on HER COUSIN 2. My BFF is a boy, and I don’t know what my BFF would think, because they are a boy. 3. I’ve never had a crush before, and my parents might have thought I had a crush on my BFF for some reason. 4. I HATE flirting! I just don’t get it. So, I try my best not to look at him because even though I can make friends with boys just fine, I am very self conscious around them so they don’t thin I’m flirting. Anyone got ideas for me??? Reply to this comment
XxBubblegumdorkxX says January 14, 2021 at 11:05 am Dear Not-So-Flirty Girl Ok I’m honestly having these problems too! (Join the club) But if you ask me just act yourself. Flirting is really weird I tried it once I just felt…WEIRD! But if he does like you he should like you for who you are. But if he doesn’t like the real you,maybe he’s NOT the one! I hope you take this information to consideration. XxBubblegumdorkxX
Dorky Situations says January 15, 2021 at 7:36 am Hey girl, Been there got a crush, a first one who I can’t get over yet :/. First of all, looking at some is OK. It actually makes them think of you more and look at you more! Proven btw. 2nd of all, Don’t care what your BFFS think! For all that you know, your buy BFF could be crushing on you! And as your BFFS, they should understand that it is normal for a human being to have feelings :). Also try and hide it from your parents, if ur BFFS come over to ur house and they know about ur crush, then tell them not to talk about it infront of ur parents! Kids feel awkward doing that anyways lol . And Last but not least: Don’t flirt, it makes boy feel weird unless they like people based on their looks :/. Just be ur self and he will like u! Tip: When u think of someone a lot, like dream of them and stuff for a wild e.t.c, they actually start to think about you too! Your Dorky advising friend, Dorky Situations
TAPDANCER says January 16, 2021 at 4:00 pm Dear Not-So-Flirty Girl! Hi! I have some tips for you! 1. If you are classmates, get in the same cliques as him, try to befriend him. Everything start there. 2. Just try to see who he’s hanging out with, what he likes to do. Try to impress him. 3. Be cool! Be chill! Get him to think u don’t care!
Rainbow Yogurt says January 13, 2021 at 12:46 am Hey, don’t worry. My sister once got the same thing. she play with 2 girl in her class but the thing is that to girl never play together and ask my sister to do the same thing. pick one of them. She was so mad she never play with those 2 again and made some new friends. Reply to this comment
Ella says January 12, 2021 at 10:53 pm Listen tell them you dont want to pick tell them if they tell you to pick they are gonna lose you as a friend . Tell them you adore both of them equally and just do not want to pick among-st them . I really hope you sort it out! Reply to this comment
I says January 12, 2021 at 9:09 pm OMG that always happens to me, thats why from time to time ask them if their BFF’s or enemies. So I end up waiting for them to say sorry to each other. So I suggest thats what you do! I mean, you can always hang out with other friends right?? Reply to this comment
FriendFrenzyFRIES says January 12, 2021 at 5:23 pm Can someone please help? I really want to make friends because I don’t really have any. BUT because of the whole pandemic, everyone where I live is supposed to learn virtually! AND there’s no opportunities to socialize with others too! I rarely work in a group with other classmates. Can I even make friends? Thanks 🙂 Reply to this comment
CrystalCakexXX says January 13, 2021 at 11:29 am if you play a online game you can make friends there, but do not let out personal info about you
Anonymous says January 13, 2021 at 8:21 pm hey there, one of my good friends are in the same situation.
FreindsFreindsFreinds says January 14, 2021 at 4:53 am Dear FreindFrenzyFRIES, Look, everyone can make friends even in the hardest situation!! OKay well then just start with the basics, ask somebody, like a someone in your grade, who is smart and kind if you can go on a walk with them around the block or to the local park! (if your state allow you too!) Maybe, becuase they are nice after the park, they might ask you if you can meet up with them another time (and how nice will that be?!?!?!) Then you have ONE friend, and if you want to make another one then ask another sweet kind girl, if you need anyother help then ask you older brother or sister or someone that you can trust and have respect for that you know well Best of Luck FreindsFreindsFreinds xxx
Dorky Situations says January 15, 2021 at 8:01 am Hey girl, I’ve already replied to this message that u posted on Nikki’s page so read that 🙂 Your Dorky advising friend, Dorky Situations
YOO_dorkaOO says January 12, 2021 at 5:19 pm I’m sorry that’s happening to you. Maybe you should step away for a bit and refresh your mind, or sleep! Sleeping always helps me to re-energize and makes me feel better. Don’t stress yourself out too! It’s between them. I’m sure things ‘ll get better, and I hope they do too. Stay positive! ^^ Reply to this comment
Frenemies says January 12, 2021 at 4:35 pm Tell them, that I like both of them. Reply to this comment
LordMomoTheLemur says January 12, 2021 at 4:09 pm I’ve been in a situation like this before I just said, “I’m friends with both of you, I’m not picking a side, I’m staying neutral.” Then they blew up. Long story short, I’m not friends with either of them anymore. Hopefully your situation ends better than mine did. I must go now. My Fandom needs me. Reply to this comment
MacKenzie4Ever says January 12, 2021 at 3:36 pm Try to help your friends get along! OR tell them how you feel! If they really are your friend, they will support you no matter what! Reply to this comment
I LOVE ONE DIRECTION says January 12, 2021 at 2:54 pm Whatever After is my fav but dork diaries are the best. Thanks, Ms.Russell for writing these books!! Reply to this comment
nikkimaxwell lover says January 12, 2021 at 2:36 pm i know its so hard to choose then i say you two work it out im not dealing with it Reply to this comment