January 9, 2021 My BFFs are FRENEMIES! Hi Brandon,So, recently my two friends got into an BIG argument. I don’t want to make either of them mad or hurt anyone’s feelings, but they keep pressuring me to hurry up and choose whose side I’m on. I really don’t like picking sides and it’s making me really STRESSED OUT. I don’t know what to do! Can you help me?BFF (Best Frenemy Forever) Dear BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), Man, being stuck in the middle is not fun, so I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The problem is that if you choose a side, someone is DEFINITELY going to end up with hurt feelings. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Either way, one of your friends gets hurt. And you’ll be hurt too, when the friend you don’t side with gets mad at you. (“I KNOW THIS, BRANDON. THAT’S WHY I WROTE YOU FOR HELP!” you may be thinking to yourself.) I just wanted to state the problem clearly so you’ll understand why I’ll say this next: I don’t think you should choose a side. And I think you have to be clear that you’re NOT going to. Because if you’re just quiet about it, they’ll think you’re still deciding and they should keep pestering you to get you to choose one over the other. I think you need to tell them really clearly and firmly that you like them both and that their argument is between THEM. You’re not going to take a side, no matter how much they pressure you. And any time they try to bring it up again, you repeat the same thing. “Both of you are my friend and I’m not going to choose whose side I’m on.” You repeat it until they get it, or until it becomes annoying to everyone. If they can’t get past their argument, they might need to sit down with someone neutral to help them talk it through – but it shouldn’t be you. You’re trying to be neutral, but since they’re both trying so hard to get you to agree with one of them, it would be really hard for you to help them with this. So maybe pick a school counselor or a cool teacher each of you like to help resolve it. Or someone’s older sibling, if they can be neutral. That is, unless your friends don’t actually want to resolve it. Sometimes there are issues so big and they just can’t let it go and then…well, then friendships change. I hope that’s not the case here. But if it is, they’ll definitely want you to take sides and I’d just encourage you to keep telling them you don’t want to lose either of their friendships. But, hopefully it’s not quite that bad. Hopefully when you stand firm and make it clear that your friendship with BOTH of them is the most important thing, they’ll realize how ridiculous they’re being. Maybe they’ll even end up being grateful that you didn’t pick a side! How do you handle it when you’re stuck in the middle between two friends? Tell us in the comments.
Crush rush says January 19, 2021 at 5:28 pm If I were you, I would agree with Brandon and tell them that I love them both.
Miss-Gacha-Know-It-All says January 19, 2021 at 5:15 pm Make new friends, and maybe they’ll make up and you can ALL be friends!!!
Friend in need says January 19, 2021 at 1:48 pm I agree with Brandon. Tell them you don’t pick a side and you love them both and that you want them to stop fighting. I love my friends and have to do this all the time.
#Lovemyself says January 19, 2021 at 1:48 am Yes I agree with Brandon. That is the perfect way to handle this situation. I am so sorry for what you are having to go through. Hope the fight between your friends ends and you all three go back to being best friends.
Lol time says January 18, 2021 at 9:43 am I feel so sorry for you! It try talking to them. Say something like: “ Guys, I know your in a fight but you guys are fighting. I’m not part of it. Try to break it and you will be friends again
mackenzies twin says January 17, 2021 at 8:58 am omg I’ve been in the same mess as you if it’s that bad run away t the circus I’m just saying
#1 Dork Diaries Fan says January 16, 2021 at 4:41 pm I’ve never been in that type of situation the closest thing to that situation is when one of my friends and I teamed up against two of our friends in an argument but I can tell you this Brandon is TOTALLY right you shouldn’t pick a side and you should make sure they get the message when you’re in a fight (not physically) with someone it’s hard to listen to reason (I should know) but if you continue to make it clear and are persistent about it then they’ll give up on making you choose sides.
Nikki’s Twin says January 16, 2021 at 12:05 pm Try and help them work it out. I know how you feel about choosing sides, it stresses me out too.
olivedonuts123 says January 16, 2021 at 3:48 am you should tell your friends how you feel and they might understand
popstar princess says January 16, 2021 at 3:53 pm No she should try and get them together if it doesn’t work just leave them just like in frenemies forever after Chloe and zoey acts so annoying Nikki left and hope to get new friends
Glory says January 15, 2021 at 2:13 am Hi BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), What I do when this happens is say I won’t hang out with either of them until they resolve what their arguing over. I always feel bad, but it does work. Hope that helps
CrazyGirl says January 14, 2021 at 10:50 pm Oof that happened to me once it was NOT fun!! All I can say is good luck!!
anime drawer says January 14, 2021 at 10:32 pm hi, BFF you should try avoiding them since you don’t know which side you should be on sincerely I’d rather be on nobody’s side since it’s too difficult and if you choose one of them that might hurt the other’s feelings just hang out with somebody else volunteer for something and just tell them to stop and sort it out, otherwise find some new BFFs!!!!!
Same prob says January 14, 2021 at 5:50 pm I have been in multiple fights with my BFF KK.We sorta force my other BFF Kitty to choose . SORRY BOUT THAT KITTY LOL.
Anonymous says January 14, 2021 at 4:35 pm Honestly, sometimes it’s better to dump them both. If they do this to you often then they aren’t the kind of friends that will make you happy and stick with you, so they aren’t good friends
JustThatGirl says January 14, 2021 at 3:02 pm I’ve actually been in that situation but my friends literally ended their 7 year friendship. (It was really bad 🙁 ) They told me to pick a side and it was really hard because I would hurting one no matter what. I told them that it was their issue and not mine. I would not be picking sides and if they don’t agree with that they could stop talking to me. They realized it was between them and I didn’t have to get involved. Even though they are no longer friends they still talk to me and I’m really happy about that!
Wolfluver33 says January 14, 2021 at 11:02 am i believe lots of people have been in this situation at least once (some people may have been one of the other two) I’ve been in both places its not fun being on either side what helped resolve my BFF problems is when i went to the school counselor so try to trick ur friends into going there. don’t worry its a good type of trick. its one for the greater good.