January 9, 2021 My BFFs are FRENEMIES! Hi Brandon,So, recently my two friends got into an BIG argument. I don’t want to make either of them mad or hurt anyone’s feelings, but they keep pressuring me to hurry up and choose whose side I’m on. I really don’t like picking sides and it’s making me really STRESSED OUT. I don’t know what to do! Can you help me?BFF (Best Frenemy Forever) Dear BFF (Best Frenemy Forever), Man, being stuck in the middle is not fun, so I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The problem is that if you choose a side, someone is DEFINITELY going to end up with hurt feelings. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Either way, one of your friends gets hurt. And you’ll be hurt too, when the friend you don’t side with gets mad at you. (“I KNOW THIS, BRANDON. THAT’S WHY I WROTE YOU FOR HELP!” you may be thinking to yourself.) I just wanted to state the problem clearly so you’ll understand why I’ll say this next: I don’t think you should choose a side. And I think you have to be clear that you’re NOT going to. Because if you’re just quiet about it, they’ll think you’re still deciding and they should keep pestering you to get you to choose one over the other. I think you need to tell them really clearly and firmly that you like them both and that their argument is between THEM. You’re not going to take a side, no matter how much they pressure you. And any time they try to bring it up again, you repeat the same thing. “Both of you are my friend and I’m not going to choose whose side I’m on.” You repeat it until they get it, or until it becomes annoying to everyone. If they can’t get past their argument, they might need to sit down with someone neutral to help them talk it through – but it shouldn’t be you. You’re trying to be neutral, but since they’re both trying so hard to get you to agree with one of them, it would be really hard for you to help them with this. So maybe pick a school counselor or a cool teacher each of you like to help resolve it. Or someone’s older sibling, if they can be neutral. That is, unless your friends don’t actually want to resolve it. Sometimes there are issues so big and they just can’t let it go and then…well, then friendships change. I hope that’s not the case here. But if it is, they’ll definitely want you to take sides and I’d just encourage you to keep telling them you don’t want to lose either of their friendships. But, hopefully it’s not quite that bad. Hopefully when you stand firm and make it clear that your friendship with BOTH of them is the most important thing, they’ll realize how ridiculous they’re being. Maybe they’ll even end up being grateful that you didn’t pick a side! How do you handle it when you’re stuck in the middle between two friends? Tell us in the comments.
Bellatrix the Murderer :) says January 29, 2021 at 12:11 pm OMG that sounds HARD, I am not gonna give you any advice because I have, like one friend, I used to have 2 but then they got into a fight and one “the new one” just drifted away and we were never friends again (we weren’t enemies though and we were still nice to each other) since I don’t want that to happen to you I’m just gonna say… tell your friends (together) that you don’t like that they’re putting you in the middle and making you pick a side and it’s stressing you, if they’re actually your friends they’ll listen and stop forcing you to pick sides.
Doodles says January 28, 2021 at 10:41 pm I had friends like this but to the extreme. I was in a friend group, so there were 7 of us and 3 of my friends were always arguing. The rest of us were left to usually play lawyer and as things progressed they began pulling others into their problems. One of my friends ran her mouth and couldn’t keep secrets, the other exaggerated issues, the third made issues, and my other friends became defensive. I was fortunate enough to not be in the center of their drama but after a year of being in this cycle, I realized how toxic it was. So, I drifted away. I also, don’t regret it. Some of my friends decided to leave the group and I’m in contact with them but, I have no idea what’s going on with my old ones. In a way, I don’t really care, they represent a history I don’t want to repeat and I’m way happier with my new friend group. I just hope they’ve matured, for their sake, I pity them if they haven’t. Anyway, my point is, that make sure to keep your eyes open for these situations. Make sure to give yourself a break if it becomes toxic and make sure to let your friends know how you feel to prevent it from becoming toxic.
Queen Emmy says January 28, 2021 at 5:58 pm Hey Brandon My bffs are soo obsessed we hope in the next book you and Nikki became bf and gf well yeah that’s all see ya From: Emmy
YourAverageWeeb says January 28, 2021 at 7:09 am Wow, I’ve been in a similar situation too! My best friends (lets call them Max and Kathleen for now) were dating for ages! I felt SO in the middle that eventually I just left their friend group! Eventually they broke up and Max came to hang out with me! This was back in 4th Grade (I’m in 7th Grade) and me and Max are still best buds!
~Xx*Fennecfoxes*xX~ says January 27, 2021 at 10:50 pm OMG GIRL SAME! i had one bff who was popular (who was my enemy 2 yrs ago but now bffnimes), and the other one was a dork (like nikki). i tried to hide both of my bffs seeing my other bff bc theyre different. never worked. they found me with someone else and they argued whos bff is mine. i was stuck in a big hole when they asked me whos bff is mine (if i tell both theyll say “thats not an answer”.)
LalaLoopsy toy lover says January 27, 2021 at 10:27 pm Brandon, I’ve seen SOO many things saying that you like Nikki. Honest to god, Nikki likes you back. You should date. I am probably the dorkiest kid in my school, my BFF may even dump me. (My question for you BFF dilemma). Brandon you should date Nikki I say again. -LalaLoopsy toy lover
octo girl says January 27, 2021 at 1:18 pm I think you should tell ’em to stop fighting.Also Good luck
leahashefan says January 27, 2021 at 9:03 am dont be freinds with them until they get along!!! WE GOT YOU GIRL!!❤
Gabriella Griffiths says January 26, 2021 at 5:52 pm Hi! I think I know who asked you for your help Brandon. My friend Avery probably did because I was forcing her to choose a side for me and my friend Aubrey fight we are all still friends and when I looked at the date the girl who wrote to you Brandon I was like yes that was probs Avery. Anyways everything good now!
Caiticorn says January 26, 2021 at 3:50 pm That’s happened to me twice . 1st time: I just walked away from them and ignored them until they calmed down. 2nd time: I tried to support them individually until they stopped arguing.
Emilyy says January 26, 2021 at 3:37 pm Wow having to pick sides is awful especially when you don’t want to hurt there feelings. Hope your situation gets better and the right between your friends end
#OnTheGoToCaliforniaWithBFF's says January 25, 2021 at 3:24 pm I’ve once been in the same problem, my bff’s were fighting over whether they should go to a birthday party, or cancel going to San Diego. But we figured it out in the end by voting.